Who Hates Boys?
by JeremyGU
Summary: What if Akane actually liked boys... a lot? And girls? And what if she met a fellow martial artist who could be either at will? A/U with a 'friendlier' Akane.
1. Jackpot!

_Author's note: Ah, it's another new fic by me, JeremyGU. I'm going three-wide with this one, as I'll be publishing this alongside both _Chill Pill_ and _Ranma-baby_. While Ranma-baby is fairly serious in tone, this one's going to come out a bit more slapstick because of the character interactions. You'll see._

_I come up with fanfic ideas through different means, and this one came out of a thought that hit me one day: what if, when Akane walked in on Ranma the first time he was male, her reaction was 'Jackpot!' This is another alternate-universe fic, and one character is different: Akane. In the original series, she despises boys and everything that has to do with them. In this story, she doesn't hate them at all. In fact, she's... well... she's kinda what the American Indians would call a 'bear with wide cavern.'_

_This chapter, and probably most in this fic, contain limes, and this one in particular very nearly hits lemon status. (I just couldn't get the point across without some description.) So, if you're easily offended, a.k.a. you never get laid and have a stick in your ass about it, this one might not be for you._

_One other thing: In this fic, Akane is bisexual. Please don't take Akane's... friendliness... to mean that I think that all bisexual people sleep around. I've known enough personally to know otherwise. When I first started writing this, I considered making a gag where Akane would literally beg girl-Ranma to change back, almost like a crackhead needing a fix. Then, I decided that the idea sucked. Rather, it would be handy for Ranma to be her dream date, being the only person she'd ever seen that could satisfy _all_ of her needs. Then I had another idea: what if Akane tried to settle the whole multiple-fiancée mess by trying to entice the other girls into a three-way? And no, this isn't going to become a harem fic; just because Akane's bisexual doesn't mean that the others are. You can expect her advances to be met with a humorous level of disgust by the other girls._

_The standard disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any of these characters. They were created by Rumiko Takahashi and owned by a bunch of guys in suits. If I owned it, you'd be able to watch it on any television anywhere it's been translated to._

* * *

><p>"Ha!" Kuno yelled, making a strike with his bokken.<p>

Akane jumped sideways, bouncing off of a tree. "You missed," she said coyly, before jumping back toward him, swinging her own bokken. He dodged, but as he went to swing again, he found himself thrown down on his back, Akane on top of him. Grinning, she slid her hands over his chest, leaning close to him.

"Kami, you feel so good, Kuno-sempai," she whispered. She put her lips to his, digging for his tongue with her own. She pulled back, sliding off but lying against him, running a hand along his thigh.

"Kuno, we've been on a dozen dates. When am I going to get to see more skin that what shows from your school uniform? I only once saw your bare chest, and when you realized I was there, you ran off!"

"Akane Tendo, I keep telling you. It is not a night of passion that I seek with you, but an entire future. It is your hand in marriage that I battle you for."

"That doesn't mean we can't sleep together!"

Kuno turned his nose. "While I understand your strong attraction, it would not be becoming of me as a gentleman to lie with you before we are married."

Akane sat up, her shoulders slumping. "Under no circumstances?"

Kuno looked hopeful. "Surely what we have means enough to you that some day..."

"Give me a call when you change your mind on the sex part," she muttered, standing and hurrying away. She found Nabiki waiting at the gate. Her sister gave her a smirk. "Still not getting anywhere?" she asked. Akane shook her head.

"Doesn't look like I'm going to, either. He's waiting for marriage, and Okinawa will freeze before I'd even consider marrying him. His body is amazing, but I couldn't put up with his personality. It takes every ounce of patience I have to listen to him for only five minutes."

"Like _you'd_ ever get married, Akane, miss three-dates-a-night."

Akane pointed at her. "Hey... it's not like that. I _do_ want to get married, but they have to be the right type. None of those guys who mob me are good enough."

"Hasn't stopped you from sleeping with them..."

Akane looked aloof. "I've only had sex with six of them, and they needed to take me out a few times to get _that_ far. I _do_ make them work a little."

"So what's it going to take to get you to accept a guy's ring?"

"It doesn't have to be a guy, you know that. I've been with more girls than guys."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Okay, then... what's it going to take to get you to get married? To anybody?"

"Oh, that's easy. A powerful martial artist who knows that they're good, but doesn't talk like some displaced samurai... like Kuno does. Good looks would be pretty important, too."

Nabiki chuckled, shaking her head.

* * *

><p>"Fiancée?"<p>

The three sisters looked at their father. He lowered the postcard he was reading. "Yes," he said. "His father and I go way back. He's lived his life training in the arts. For the past few months, they've trained in China."

"Ooh, China!" Nabiki said, impressed.

Akane turned to look at her. "Uh uh," she said. "World traveled martial artist? He's _mine_. I _will_ fight you for him."

Kasumi rolled her eyes. The two of them arguing over a guy was nothing new. "Just let _him_ choose," she said, slightly exasperated. Besides, there was always the possibility that he was an older guy... just her type. Maybe _she_ wanted a man for once.

Nabiki and Akane looked at one another for a moment, before jumping up and racing out of the room, their pounding footsteps going upstairs, where a flurry of motion was audible through the ceiling. Kasumi shook her head, knowing exactly what they were doing: dressing to impress. After a few minutes of relative quiet, the sound of feet thumping down the steps announced the return of one of them. It was Nabiki, dressed smartly in a dress kimono, a neat application of makeup on her face and a ribbon adorning her hair. "What do you think?" she asked.

"It's lovely," Kasumi said sweetly, secretly wondering if she should try harder herself. The sound of hurrying footsteps announced Akane's return. She sauntered in, clad in an impossibly short pair of jean shorts and a top that seemed to stop short everywhere it could. Nabiki rolled her eyes. "What if he's not into sluts?" she drawled. Akane stuck her tongue out.

Just then, the bell rang. "That must be them now!" Soun said in excitement. He raced toward the entrance, with Nabiki in tow. Akane waited at the doorway... she knew he'd see her soon enough. No sense in seeming _too_ eager. Kasumi also waited. A moment later, they heard a frightened cry from Nabiki, who raced back to them, with Soun behind her. A second later, a panda lumbered around the corner, carrying a redheaded teenager. It set the teen down.

Soun stared for a moment, before pointing to the child. "You wouldn't happen to be..."

The teen looked down. "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about all this."

"Ooh, he _is_ cute!" Nabiki said. Akane licked her lips, thinking the same thing. Soun sprang forward and embraced the redhead. "Finally," he said, "after all this time..." He stopped suddenly, pulling back, a horrified look crossing his face. Confused, Nabiki leaned close, before poking a suspicious lump on the redhead's chest. "Ranma's not a guy!" she said. "She's a girl!"

Soun dropped like a rock.

Kasumi and Akane knelt by their unconscious father. It didn't look like he'd awaken easily, and since he had a habit of blacking out under stress, they knew that they'd better move him. Each grabbed an arm, and the helpful panda grabbed his legs. They took him into the washitsu, laying him on the table. Everyone sat around him.

Nabiki looked at Akane. "Well, sis," she said. "_You're_ the only one of us who's interested in girls, so... she's all yours." Akane grinned, looking Ranma up and down. She definitely liked what she could see. Ranma blushed slightly.

Akane tugged on her arm. "Hi, Ranma, I'm Akane," she said. "Want to go somewhere and talk?" The girl looked hesitant, but nodded, standing and following as Akane led her out of the room. They walked toward the dojo.

As soon as they entered, Akane turned to face the girl. "You studied Kenpō, right?" she asked. Ranma nodded. Akane continued. "How about little match, then?" she asked. "I'd love to see how good you are." She stepped back, taking a stance. Ranma shrugged and squared off with her.

After a second, Akane struck... and missed. She struck again. Ranma dodged effortlessly, and Akane was impressed. Fighting power was a turn-on for her; usually, she beat the guys at school and had to throw herself on them to get a feel. She'd always hoped for a guy to pin her, but even trying to fake poor fighting skills, she couldn't manage to lower herself enough for one of the guys to win. Ranma, though... this curvy girl could probably benchpress her.

A particular mood started to overcome her.

Visions of Ranma knocking her down started to filer through her mind, and she struggled to keep her head clear enough to keep attacking. She swung a high kick, but Ranma simply jumped straight up, evading with no difficulty. Akane smirked. "Okay," she said. "Let's see how you handle this!" With a shout, she made a leg sweep, while jumping up to strike. Ranma jumped as Akane put her fist through the wall, sailing over Akane's head to land behind her. She tapped her on the back of the head.

Akane stared, while Ranma broke into giggles. After a second, Akane was overcome with giggles herself. Recovering, she looked at Ranma. "You're incredible," she said.

"Thanks."

Akane looked at her seductively. "So... have you ever been with a girl before?"

Ranma reddened. "Uh... no, I haven't, actually."

"Do you want to?"

Ranma's blushed deepened. She looked away. "Well... yeah..."

She barely finished the word before Akane leaned in, putting her lips to the girl's. Ranma was momentarily shocked, but recovered quickly enough to enjoy the kiss for what it was. Akane pulled back, grinning. "Don't worry," she said, sauntering past. "We'll have more time to play later. I'll see if you can room with me." She left, wiggling her hips slightly as she walked. Ranma stared, thoroughly enjoying the view.

What a welcome _that_ had been...

* * *

><p>Ranma lay in the furo, now male and contemplating. "How do I tell them?" he wondered aloud. He was actually starting to like the girl that had kissed him earlier. It was the farthest he'd ever gone with a girl, and it had been pretty incredible. To think he'd been mad at his father earlier. But... how would she take the news that he was... a he? Was she interested in guys, too? His mind wandered back to their kiss, as arousal started to take hold of him. He'd never given girls much thought, but this one... He absentmindedly spread his legs as the thoughts of her started to churn his hormones into a frenzy.<p>

Akane walked into the furoba. Looking at the hamper, she saw Ranma's clothes. She smiled. "Ranma's in the furo?" she said with delight. Moving quickly, she rushed to strip her own clothes off. What better way to take things to the next level than to catch the girl naked? Sometimes, life just gives one the perfect opportunity.

Inside, Ranma nodded. "Well," he muttered. "I guess I'll just to go out like I am." He stood.

Outside, Akane reached for the door. "This'll be a nice view," she said to herself, sliding the door open.

At the sound of the door, Ranma looked up, and they both instantly caught sight of one another. Akane's eyes widened. It wasn't every day that a naked guy showed up in her house. In fact, it had never happened once, despite her wishing for the contrary. She had no idea where this boy had come from, but he was _gorgeous._ She eyed him from head to toe, liking what she saw. A cute face, perfectly chiseled muscles, and... she eyed a certain part of his anatomy... very well endowed. Just standing there... naked.

'Jackpot!' she thought.

She stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. She walked up to the boy, who, embarrassed, quickly sat down in the water. She knelt at the side of the furo, reaching into the water and slipping her hand around a certain part of his anatomy. "Hi, stranger," she said with a smile. "Where'd you come from? I'm Akane. What's your name?"

"Ah..." He stumbled, but there wasn't anything else he could say. "Ranma."

Akane stroked him under the water. "Huh," she said. "Are you related to the girl Ranma who just came here earlier?" Ranma nodded, struggling to think as the sensation her hand was causing threatened to derail his train of thought. "Well, actually..." he said slowly, "I... _am_ the Ranma who came earlier."

Akane was confused enough to let go of him, which he instantly disliked. She scratched her head. "How could you be that girl?" she asked, looking at him curiously. Ranma sighed, rising and sitting on the edge of the furo. Akane's eyes locked onto his playthings, which were now right at eye level. Noticing her gaze, he blushed a deep crimson, quickly covering himself with his hands.

"I'm cursed," he explained. "My pop took me training to this training ground in China, called Jusenkyo. It's a bunch of little springs. If you fall in one, you're cursed by it. You turn into whatever drowned in that spring. Pop fell in, too... into the spring of drowned panda."

Akane's mouth dropped open. "That panda was..." she stammered. Ranma nodded. Akane was still confused, however. "Okay, so were you born a boy or a girl?" she pressed.

"Boy."

"So... how are you a boy now, and not cursed?"

"The curse triggers with water. Cold water makes me a girl; warm water turns me back into a guy. We got rained on earlier, so..."

Akane nodded, as she pondered what he was describing. "Can I see?" she asked. Ranma nodded hesitantly. She grabbed the shower, turned it on cold, and doused him, watching in wonder as he became the redheaded girl she'd met earlier. She blinked once— there was no doubt about it. He'd just transformed into an entirely different person, right in front of her eyes. Turning the tap to hot, she doused the girl, watching as the dark-haired boy returned. She turned off the water, setting the shower down.

"So... let me get this straight," she said. "You're an incredibly talented martial artist, who can change your gender at will, and both your boy and girl sides are incredibly sexy?"

Ranma's blushed returned.

"Jackpot!" she shouted, loud enough to startle him. Rising to sit next to him on the side of the furo, she slid her hands onto his hips, pressing her lips to his. Surprised, he didn't even manage to return the kiss. After a second, she pulled back, a thought crossing her mind. "Hey, wait a minute," she said. "Earlier I asked if you'd ever been with a girl, and you said no."

Ranma nodded. "I haven't," he said quietly.

Akane's eyes widened. "A virgin..." she said in wonder, a grin starting to spread across her face. After a second, she shoved Ranma roughly to the floor. He looked at her in shock, having no clue what she was planning, while she stared back through wild eyes. "What... what are you doing?" he asked, his voice shaky. Akane smiled broadly. "I am going to teach you _everything_ there is to know," she replied, sounding more excited than a kid at a carnival. "This is going to be the greatest thing ever!"

She jumped on him, locking her lips with his. Ranma managed to roll with it, now that he was starting to figure out her tendency for sudden sexual advances. Feeling her tongue darting against his lips, he reciprocated, his shyness quickly getting buried by his sixteen-year-old male hormones.

She broke the kiss, putting her lips to his neck and giving a slow, sucking kiss that made him gasp out loud from the sensation. He'd seen these kinds of things in movies, but he'd never even come close to being in this situation with a girl. Putting another kiss to his neck, Akane started moving down, kissing down his chest, and then his belly. He jumped a little as the kisses tickled, and then looked with surprise as she stopped, her face hovering just a few inches over a very erect part of his anatomy.

"Ah..." he said, his voice barely coming to him. "W... what are you going to..." She grinned up at him one last time, before putting her lips on it, giving it a kiss that sent a bolt of electricity up his spine. He stretched his arms over his head, arching his back and grasping for anything to hold onto. Finding nothing, he finally settled on balling his fists as a means of controlling the intense sensation that was shooting through him.

Akane put her hands on his thighs. His reaction was all that she'd needed to know that she was in safe territory. With a push, she sucked in as much as she could manage, relishing the loud groan that she heard escape his throat.

. . . . . . . . . .

Ranma lay on the floor, panting, as Akane sat back, a slightly weary smile on her face. The boy sat up with some effort, turning his gaze to her. "Akane..." he said breathlessly, "that was so... I've never felt... anything... like that before. That was... unbelievable..." Akane grinned, admiring her handiwork: she'd not only pleased him, but completely blown his mind. Exactly what she'd hoped to do. She reached behind her to grab the shower. "Well," she said, "it's not over yet, you know."

"What else are you going to..." Before Ranma could finish his sentence, a cold blast of water hit him square in the chest, and he found himself a redheaded girl. She jumped from the cold. "Ooh!" she said with a shiver. "Could you give me a little warning next time?" Akane dropped the shower, crawling over to her. Putting her hands on Ranma's shoulders, she gently pushed the redhead to the floor.

"What are you going to do?" Ranma asked, her eyes starting to widen. Akane smirked. "Same thing I did last time," she replied, leaning close and putting her lips to the girl's neck.

* * *

><p>Kasumi and Nabiki sat at the table in the washitsu, looking in wonder at their father and the older man sitting next to him. They'd just been given an explanation of the curse.<p>

"You mean..." Nabiki began.

"...you're the panda we saw earlier?" Kasumi finished.

"Yes," Soun replied. "This is my friend..."

"Genma Saotome" Genma said, bowing. "The girl you saw earlier is my son, Ranma. He's a dark-haired boy, about my height, when he's not in his cursed form. I'm not sure where he's gotten to..."

Nabiki smirked. "He went in the furo, and considering that Akane's missing as well, I think we can assume that she went in there and found him. Believe me, if she found a random guy in the furo, and he was good-looking, she'd think he was a birthday present or something. It might be a couple of hours before they surface for air."

Just then, the shoji opened, and Akane and Ranma, now male, walked in. Ranma looked slightly woozy, still recovering from the head rush given to him by the events of the last hour. Akane walked over to the table, pulling Ranma down to sit next to her. Nabiki eyeballed the boy. "So, this is your true form," Nabiki said, amused. "Your father was just explaining how your curse works."

Akane put her arms around his neck, nuzzling against him, causing him to blush. "I hope you're not getting any ideas," she said in the direction of her sisters. "He is _all mine_." Nabiki laughed, shaking her head. "A martial artist who can be a guy or girl at will?" she said. "Nah, Akane. I wouldn't deny you your dream man. He was _made_ for you."

Kasumi smiled. "So, Ranma... how did you come to train at the cursed training grounds in the first place?"

For the first time, Ranma snapped out of his sex-trance, his eyes narrowing. "The old man brought me. In some crazy way, he thought it was a good idea. Turns out, he has the intelligence of a brick." Genma reached into his pocket, pulling out a pamphlet and tossing it on the table. "I read about it in this guidebook," he said simply. Akane squinted at the book, releasing her grip on Ranma. "This is in Chinese," she said. "Can you read Chinese?"

"Take a guess," Ranma said, sounding more than a bit irritated.

The older Tendo sisters looked miffed. "That was incredibly irresponsible," Kasumi admonished. Nabiki was equally irritated. "You're lucky that the effects weren't worse," she said. "You could've done some real damage."

"Whaddaya call my turning into a girl?" Ranma said in surprise.

"Heaven," Akane replied.

Genma shook his head. "The path of a martial artist is fraught with peril," he said plainly.

Ranma turned his gaze on him. "It don't count as peril when it's your own stupid fault," he retorted.

Genma looked at his son, turning angry. "Ranma," he said, grabbing Ranma by the shirt. "You sound like... a girl!" With a toss, he sent Ranma flying completely over the engawa and out into the koi pond outside. Ranma, a girl, surfaced, jumping out. Genma walked to the door. "Were you not prepared to lay your life on the line for the art?" he yelled. Ranma sent him flying into the koi pond with a kick. "My life is one thing!" she shouted. "My manhood is another story!"

Akane rose, hurrying over to Ranma and putting her hands on the redhead's shoulders. Turning to see her, Ranma softened. Akane gave her a slow kiss, putting her hands on either side of Ranma's head. Breaking the kiss, she took Ranma's hand. "Want to go talk?" she suggested. "Maybe you'll feel better." Ranma watched her panda father struggle to get out of the koi pond for a moment, before nodding and following Akane.

Outside, Akane sat in the doorway of the dojo, patting the floor next to her. Ranma sat. Akane took her hand. "You're pretty mad at your father for what he did, huh?"

Ranma nodded. "I _hate_ this curse," she replied.

"Don't."

"Huh?"

Akane gave her a warm smile. "It has to be inconvenient, I know. I was already thinking about how easy it must be to trigger your curse. But... for me, anyway, it's the greatest thing ever. I'm bisexual. If I'm monogamous, I'm stuck only getting half of what I enjoy for the rest of my life. You're an answer to my prayers." She released Ranma's hand, sliding her hand up to caress Ranma's shoulder. "I will do my very best to make sure you enjoy every second of it, just like earlier."

Ranma reddened, remembering their time in the furoba. Putting her hands on Ranma's shoulders, Akane put her lips to Ranma's, bringing her in for a slow kiss. Ranma broke the kiss, holding her hands up. "Careful," she said. "I'm still all wet, remember."

Akane sat back. "So? I don't mind."

"Yeah, well... maybe I ought to get cleaned up now, anyway. Being dripping wet doesn't exactly lend itself to... you know... good moods..."

Akane grinned. "Who says?" She rose, stepping to the side and plucking the garden hose that hung on the wall. As soon as Ranma had warned her not to get too close, she was reminded of something— she'd thrown her clothes back on without any underwear, and her white shirt afforded her the perfect opportunity to cheer Ranma up with a little show. Besides... she never passed up an opportunity to be an exhibitionist.

Planting herself in front of Ranma, she turned the hose on, holding it up to douse her front. Ranma watched, wide-eyed, as the water splashed down her shirt, instantly giving full view of what was underneath. She'd heard of wet tee-shirt contests, but had never seen such a sight before now. A drop of blood started to form at the corner of her nose.

Akane gave her a seductive smile. "You like, Ranma?" she asked, swaying her hips and sending water droplets flying from the hems of her shorts. Ranma blinked, her mind trying to process what she was staring at. With a giggle, Akane turned around, holding the hose up again to let the water douse down her back. Ranma's eyes fixed on her rear, as she started to hyperventilate. Her brain was closing in on sensory overload. Finally, the sight of Akane's shorts clinging to her curves, the water dripping and glistening on her thighs, became just too much for the inexperienced teen to bear. Stars filling her vision, she dropped backwards, landing on the dojo floor with a thud.

Akane spun around, concerned, and knelt by the girl. The smile on Ranma's lips told her that she had nothing to worry about, and Akane giggled at her shyness. She gave her a splash on the face from the hose, which zapped the redhead back to reality. As Ranma sat up, Akane tossed the hose aside and straddled her, putting her wet breasts directly in front of the girl's face. Ranma stared at the view, feeling the pressure against her hips. Her nosebleed started to return.

Akane smiled. "You know what I'd like to do?" she asked. Ranma, dazed, shook her head slowly. Akane continued. "I would like to get out of these wet clothes, get you out of yours, change you back into a guy, and take you upstairs." She gave Ranma a slow kiss, before looking into her eyes. "How would you like to lose your virginity tonight, Ranma?"

Ranma blushed a deep crimson. Akane had done plenty already, but what she was suggesting now was... Akane stood, taking Ranma's hand and giving it a tug. The redhead stood, a bit shaky. Her emotions were a mixture of intense nervousness and bubbling excitement. Akane smiled broadly, pulling Ranma toward the house.

"Let's go, then," she said softly, leading the way.

* * *

><p><em>AN: You like it? Drop me a review and tell me what you think. I already know that it moves a bit fast. I've been working on my descriptions and using more adjectives, but frankly, I'm no lemon writer and my attempts to make the descriptions better definitely weren't working out._

_Stay tuned for the next chapter!_


	2. I Accept Your Challenge

_A/N: Next chapter up. I must address something that was a running theme in the not-so-positive reviews. This is not intended to be a serious fic. Akane's behavior isn't intended to be just a bit on the loose side; rather, the way she acts is one step over the line of believability. It's a somewhat realistic plot where the character attributes are not. Ever see _Team America: World Police?_ A little like that._

_Take, for example, the idea that I based the story upon: Akane being happy to find a naked man in the furo. I'm well aware that there is no woman on earth that would react that way. No matter how friendly she may be toward men, any woman would react with horror to finding a strange naked man inside of her house. Ergo, her actions aren't meant to reflect any semblance of reality. Another hypothetical example: no woman, no matter how slutty, would enjoy being raped. I don't plan on writing anything like that in this fic, but suffice to say, if this Akane were attacked in a dark alley in Tōykō, she'd probably come away thinking it was exhilarating._

_I blame myself for this not being very clear. I thought that the tone would give away that this isn't serious (contrasted with my other two current fics), but as I look back, it _does_ look like a more serious story at first glance. I think it's because I was working on the beginnings of chapter three as I prepped and uploaded chapter one, and the tone is more clear in that chapter. With that in mind, realism isn't something I'm holding to a particularly high regard. In my other fics I would, but not so much here. This story is very simple, ignoring the more complex parts of life._

_Actually, the bisexual-being-frowned-upon is going to come up in something else I'm writing, but that's another story. Literally._

_Also, some questioned Ranma. There were two parts to that. Some thought that Ranma would never do these sexual things anywhere near that age. I defer back to something I said early in _Chill Pill:_ while some argue that an in-character Ranma (or Akane) would have too much shyness to ever be physical, I'd argue that they never get close enough for us to know at all. Maybe they would be too shy... or, maybe once they got comfortable with eachother, they'd screw until they got friction burns on their playthings. After all, I remember being sixteen, and, well... yeah. The shyness goes away._

_Others concerned with Ranma didn't dispute the above, but thought that Ranma would have been too uncomfortable so soon— they thought that I didn't take enough time for Ranma's guard to be let down. I'll concede that one to a point; my thinking was that his hormones would overpower any urge to throw her off while they were on the furoba floor, but I could be wrong. Of course, I _did_ make him pretty shy the whole time. Just count how many times I used the words 'redden' and 'blush'... you could make a drinking game out of it._

_Lastly, since I forgot to put this in the chapter one a/n: While this goes along the canon timeline, unlike Chill Pill, it's not going to go through every story arc. Here's a basic chapter outline: 1) Intro; 2) Tatewaki Kuno; 3) Ryoga; 4) Kodachi Kuno; 5) Shampoo; 6) Mousse; 7) Ukyo, 8) Ending. The Shampoo and Mousse chapters might end up combined; it just depends upon how long five runs when I get into it._

_Sorry for the long-windedness. Here's the story._

* * *

><p>Akane jogged in through the gate. She went out every morning, and every morning had the same experience— watching the guys stare and occasionally whistle. Usually, she gave a wink to the ones that paid her attention; once, a lucky guy got a date out of it. After all, he had a bishōnen thing going on that she found incredibly hot. This morning, though, she'd delighted in passing them up— she had a boyfriend waiting at home.<p>

She stopped dead as soon as she entered, awestruck by the battle raging over the garden. Ranma and his father were going all out, occasionally sending one or the other flying into the house or another object. There was a boom as Genma crashed into the outer wall. Landing effortlessly, Ranma looked over and spotted her, a blush spreading across his face. He still felt pretty shy, given the newness of things, even after the previous night.

He was suddenly sent flying by a kick from Genma, which sent him in an arc directly into the koi pond. The old man landed, standing and laughing. "You're sloppy, Ranma!" he said. "Imagine being distracted by a girl!" As soon as the last word left his mouth, a wave of water hit him, followed by the metal pan the water had come from. It hit him square in the head, knocking him flat. The now female Ranma smirked. "Look who's talking," she retorted.

As Genma-panda waddled into the house, Ranma shyly approached Akane, who rushed to give her a kiss. Ranma kept an inch between them. "Careful," she said, "I'm all wet... again." Akane giggled. "Like I'd worry," she replied. "I was just about to change out of these clothes anyway. Which reminds me..." She took a step back and spun around. "You like how my butt looks in these shorts?"

Ranma grinned involuntarily. "Uh huh," she muttered, before catching herself, reddening and slapping her hands over her mouth. Akane laughed. "Always so shy," she said with a grin. She took Ranma's hands. "C'mon... why don't I help you get undressed and changed back into a guy? We can have a few minutes together before breakfast is ready." Ranma's blush deepened, but the huge smile spreading across her face gave Akane her answer. With a tug, she lead the redhead toward the furoba.

A half hour later, they were walking toward Furinkan High, Akane clinging to the now-male-Ranma's arm. Though it didn't show, she was a bit worried. Had she jumped the gun? Ranma had some incredible qualities... but she barely knew him. Of course, that wouldn't have stopped her from tackling him the first time she saw him, but the part about making him her boyfriend might have been a bit rushed. It was possible that he could be violent to her when he was angry... he liked to knock his father around, after all. To her, though, he seemed extra-polite. Of course, she could always break it off if he turned into a complete bastard. Just because she was leading the monogamous life at that moment didn't mean that she couldn't go back to her old ways.

She was knocked from her thoughts by a splash of water, which hit her directly in the face. Coughing, she looked over to see that Ranma had been hit, too, and was now in female form. She also saw the source of the water: a little old lady watering the street. She rolled her eyes... what were the odds?

Ranma sighed. "Well, I can't go to school like this," she said, irritated. "Do we have time to run back home?" Akane shook her head, just as a thought hit her. "No," she replied, "but we can stop in at Doctor Tofu's clinic. He'll have hot water." Taking Ranma's hand, she lead the redhead down a side street that would take them there.

A few minutes later, Ranma stood in the exam room at Tofu's clinic. She looked around... it was filled with moxibustion charts that she couldn't possibly understand. She'd known for a long time that she had no intention of ever entering the medical field. The amount of school she'd have to go through for that... practicing martial arts took enough time already.

A hand landed on her shoulder, and she nearly jumped out of her skin. With a yell, she leapt onto the open door next to her, looking back to see a man holding a skeleton. "Pardon me," he said in a falsetto. With a chuckle, he looked from behind the skeleton. "Sorry to have frightened you, miss," he said. "This is just Betty, my skeleton."

She heard another footstep and turned to see Akane entering with a tea kettle. "Oh, there you are Doctor Tofu," she said. Ranma let go of the door, and Akane handed the kettle to her. "Doctor Tofu," she said, "this is Ranma, my boyfriend. Well... he can be a boy or a girl. He was born a boy. That's why I needed the hot water."

"Jusenkyo?"

Ranma deadpanned. "Was my pop the _only_ one who'd never heard of the place?"

Akane smiled sweetly. "Turns out we've been engaged since birth. Either way, I'm sorry to say you missed your chance. If you were ever going to ask me out, it's too late now."

Tofu shook his head, chuckling. "I told you before, Akane. I don't look at you in that way. Honest."

Akane rolled her eyes as Ranma doused herself with the hot water, instantly feeling the changeover. Tofu watched with interest. "I'd heard of it," he said, "but that's the first time I've ever seen it right in front of me. It's pretty amazing, isn't it?"

"It's annoying," the now male Ranma retorted.

"I'd say it definitely has its advantages," Akane said, leaning against him. A blush crossed his face.

They headed out toward the high school a few minutes later. As they resumed walking, Ranma looked at Akane. "What was all that about asking you out?" he asked. Akane smiled wistfully. "Oh... when I was a little girl, I had the biggest crush on him. I'm not sure where it came from, but I did. So then, when I hit puberty, I saw him as a man, and then I wanted him even worse. So since I was about twelve, I think I've asked him out about once a month. He always says no."

"Well, yeah... you were _twelve!_"

"I thought when I got older he might change his mind. I guess sixteen still isn't old enough for him. And the last few times I even told him it didn't have to be a relationship if he didn't want one. I'd have been happy with an hour alone with him in his office."

Ranma's eyes widened. She'd been pretty quick to put her hands on him, and the thought had already occurred to him that she may be that way with every guy. Was she really the type of girl a guy wants to marry? "Ah, Akane," he said, "just how many guys have you... done that with?"

Akane sighed. She knew that question was coming eventually. She wanted to be the angel-in-the-kitchen-wild-animal-in-the-bedroom type, but with the way she'd taken advantage of her popularity with the guys... old-fashioned guys usually looked the other way. She'd known for a while that, when she found the guy she wanted to be exclusive with, she might have to do some convincing. "More than a few," she replied. "Not nearly as many as want to be with me, though. The guys have always came after me since I, well, started getting my womanly features." She squeezed a boob for emphasis. "When you get that much attention, it's pretty easy to want to give in and be popular. But my sister Kasumi told me to be selective, so I only went on dates with the ones who were the nicest or best looking. And I didn't go all the way with every guy I've dated. Still, there've been a lot. It's something I enjoy, and there was never any reason to hold back."

_(A/N: Apparently she didn't pay enough attention in sex ed.)_

She leaned against Ranma. "But I want you to know, I always said that, when I found someone that I wanted to settle down with, I wouldn't touch anybody else from that point forward. So I'm not going to. Okay?"

Ranma nodded, his fears easing slightly. She seemed genuine enough.

"Can I ask you a question?" she said.

"Uh... sure"

"I'd never think about doing anything with another guy. What about a girl? Would it bother you if something happened between me and another girl? Because I won't do anything like that if it would bother you."

Ranma furrowed his brow. Much like tap lessons or learning to speak Swahili, it was something that had never once come within a million light years of his thought processes. "I... guess... not..."

Akane held a finger up. "How about this... neither of us will mess around with somebody of the opposite sex. Your real sex, I mean. I won't go around any other guys, and you won't go around any other girls. If we want to mess around with somebody of the same sex, that's fine. How's that sound?"

Ranma cocked an eyebrow. "Hey, I don't plan on doin' stuff with other guys, even when I'm a girl. Just because my body changes don't mean I think any different."

Akane pouted. "What a shame. I'd have loved to have watched that. Even more so if you were a guy at the time." Ranma looked at her like she'd sprouted a third eyeball. She grinned. "You know what, though... I'll even offer something else, because I really like you."

Ranma blushed. While there had been a great deal of physical affection between them, there'd been little talk about feelings. It was the first time a girl had said she'd liked him."What's that?"

"If some girl does come around that you might want to do something with, since I like girls, too... if she'd be willing to do a threesome, I'm all for it. You just send her to me. Okay?"

Ranma's blush deepened. "I hadn't even thought about anything like that," he muttered.

"Yeah, I know. But after the newness of all of this wears off, you will. It's only natural."

They turned the corner, and Ranma was shocked by what he saw: the front gate of Furinkan, and behind it, what looked to be a thousand boys, all waiting expectantly. Akane leaned over to him. "They know I like fighters," she explained, "so they try to defeat me. None of them are good enough, but in the past, if I liked them enough to go out with them, I'd knock them down and land on them. Great way to cop a feel. They're all going to be disappointed today, though, aren't they?"

As they approached the gate, Akane took Ranma's arm. Murmurs of surprise resonated throughout the crowd. Akane stopped, looking into the crowd. "Listen, you guys!" she shouted. "I have a boyfriend now! I'm not dating anybody else! Sorry!" The guys slowly backed away, muttering things about the world ending. Ranma was sure he saw one crying. He blinked... had he seriously wound up engaged to the most sought-after girl in all of Nerima? No wonder she dated so many guys— she could have any one she wanted.

An older boy darted out of the crowd, and the look of recognition on Akane's face told Ranma that she knew exactly who he was. She fixed him in a gaze, still holding Ranma's arm. "Did you hear me clearly, Kuno?" she drawled.

Kuno pulled his bokken, pointing it directly at Ranma. "Who do you think you are, that claims Akane Tendo as his own? I have dated with Akane for a year now!"

Akane rolled her eyes. "It was ten dates over eight months, and I went out with about a dozen other guys during that time. I hate to have to break it to you, Kuno, but you wouldn't go all the way without getting married, and I'm not about to marry you. I'd have loved to have gotten in bed with you, but if you're going to wait until marriage, then it ain't happening."

Tears formed in Kuno's eyes. "Akane Tendo... why this change of heart? I thought we had something..."

"What we had was me trying to convince you to whip it out without a marriage certificate! I never had the slightest desire to spend the rest of my life with you! Get it?"

Kuno suddenly turned angry, looking at Ranma. "You! You've brainwashed her, haven't you? You foul sorcerer!"

Ranma raised his hands in front of him. "Hey, man, you got it all wrong! Our dads engaged us, and _she_ asked _me!_"

Akane grabbed hold of Kuno's bokken. "I never wanted to marry you because I find you annoying. Ranma's not annoying. He's sweet. Get it? All I ever liked about you was your looks, and Ranma's got you beat there, anyhow!"

Kuno yanked his bokken from her hand, pointing it at Ranma again. "What is your name?"

"My name? It's R—"

"Wait! Is it not custom to give one's own name first? Fine. Mine I shall give. I am the captain of the Furinkan High School kendo club. A rising star in the world of martial arts. I am Tatewaki Kuno, age seventeen."

Ranma smirked, starting to think that he might enjoy adjusting the boy's attitude. "Fine, Tatewaki Kuno. I'm a master of the School of Indiscriminate Grappling. The name's Ranma Saotome, and I..." He stepped forward. "...accept your challenge."

Akane grinned. It was possible for a guy to be full of himself (like Kuno), but for a guy to show just a little bit of ego when he knew he was good... that was sexy. At that moment, Ranma couldn't have been sexier. "Go get him, tiger," she said, becoming aroused.

Kuno took a swipe at Ranma, who dodged by jumping sideways and landing against a tree. Kuno struck again, slicing the tree in two, but missing as Ranma hopped onto the wall. Akane had been impressed by Ranma's moves in the dojo on the first day, but she still hadn't seen him totally in action. It was impressive to watch— Ranma was dancing circles around him, hopping away any time Kuno tried to strike. The upperclassman was hopelessly lacking in speed, and it was pretty obvious that he stood no chance. Ranma was easily the best fighter she'd ever seen, and he was all hers. Her arousal grew. Feigning nonchalance, she hiked up one side of her dress and slipped a hand underneath, searching for a certain spot to stimulate.

She suddenly felt something hit her head. A raindrop. She gasped— at any moment, Ranma could change forms. Her sex thoughts vanished as she went into crisis mode. She was about to shout, when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Genma, a panda, racing toward them full-tilt with a tea kettle in hand. Ranma jumped and dove at Kuno, and in a blur, started to change as Genma grabbed him. The end result was Kuno falling flat, knocked cold, while Genma carried the now-female Ranma into the building. Akane ran after them.

Inside, Ranma was already changing back. Akane glomped onto him, planting a kiss on him. "That was incredible!" she said. "I was about to punch him in the nuts, but... you were great! That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" Ranma blushed deeply, as Akane took a look at him. "Did he get a hit on your neck?" she asked. Ranma pulled his collar down, and sure enough, there was a bruise. "Wow," he said, "and he didn't even touch me! That's pretty good!"

Akane smirked. "Yeah, he was the best at Furinkan... until now." She slammed her lips to his again, slipping her tongue in as she reached around to give his butt a squeeze. She pulled back, only to lean close to his ear. "I'm going to be horny all day now," she whispered so that Genma couldn't hear. "When we get home, you're going to get it _good!_"

Ranma moved his mouth to speak, but couldn't make any words come out. Akane grabbed his hand. "C'mon, we're late for sure," she said. "Not that the show wasn't worth it." She gave his hand a tug, leading him toward their classroom.

* * *

><p>Ranma and Akane stood outside the classroom, each holding a bucket. After the excitement had worn off, Akane's mood turned sour, and Ranma was afraid that he'd made her angry. Right after all of the affection, too. He was afraid that everything good that had happened was undone. He turned toward her. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. The look of irritation dropped from her face. "For what?" she asked, sounding genuinely confused.<p>

"For making us late."

Akane's eyes widened. "Oh!" she said. "I'm not mad at you! I'm ticked at _Kuno_, not you! It was _his_ fault! No, believe me, it was worth being late to watch you out there, I just wish Kuno would have waited until after school."

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. Akane looked at her bucket. "I've got to be honest with you," she said with a smirk. "I'm having the strongest urge to toss this on you and play with your breasts." Ranma's eyes widened. "Oh, no..." he stammered. "No, no... please don't..."

Akane nodded knowingly. "I'm guessing you don't want people to know about the curse, huh?"

Ranma nodded.

"I kinda figured. You don't want the guys turning you into a girl just to gawk. I always found it pretty fun to make them drool, but it sounds like you wouldn't like that so much."

"No! I'm not into guys! When guys look at my girl side, it creeps me out to no end!"

Suddenly, a wave of water flew at them. Ranma jumped out of the way as the water splashed all over the floor. He looked up to see a fuming Kuno. "You ran away from our fight!" he growled, pulling his bokken and slashing at Ranma, slicing the bucket he was holding in half and sending more water across the floor. Ranma looked at the window. "This ain't the place for a fight, Kuno," he said with a smirk. "You want to fight? Follow me!"

He turned and jumped straight out the window, with Kuno on his heels. "But this is the third floor!" Akane yelled, racing to the window. Her eyes widened as she saw what he was heading toward: the school swimming pool. She cringed at the splash that the pair created. Turning, she ran toward the stairs. She needed to get some hot water and get out there.

Racing to the side of the pool, Akane saw Kuno laying on the cement, but no Ranma. Then, she noticed wet footprints leading away from the pool, and turned to follow them. She found the red-haired Ranma just outside the school fence, sitting on a tree branch. As Akane approached, she was peeling her pants off and wringing them out. Akane whistled. "You shouldn't take your pants off when I'm not around to watch," she said. Ranma smiled, a faint blush tinging her cheeks.

Akane held up the kettle. "Thought you could use this," she called up. Ranma brightened. "Please!" she replied. Akane was about to hand the kettle up when she heard a sloshing sound. She turned to see a soaking wet Kuno approaching, bokken in hand. She tossed the kettle to Ranma. "I'll keep him busy while you change back," she said, racing over to the upperclassman.

Kuno looked at her as she approached. "That coward Saotome ran from our fight," he said, irritated. Akane smiled sweetly. "Well," she replied, "I'll happily fight you in his place. Ranma and I _are_ engaged to be married, after all."

Kuno's eyes widened. "You can't possibly want this, Akane Tendo," he said. "He has you under a spell. He must!"

Akane smirked. "Then snap me out of it!" she retorted. She leapt at him, sending a kick directly at his face. He ducked, swiping at her with his bokken, though it wasn't a real attempt to hit her. Unfortunately, his slow swing meant that she could grab hold of the weapon, which she did, swinging it and sending him flying. He landed atop the kettle that was in the still-female Ranma's hands.

Akane looked at them, exasperated. "Hey! Why haven't you changed back yet?" she shouted.

Kuno looked at Ranma. "Excuse me," he said. "Have you seen a coward with a pigtail? He ran away from our fight." Ranma reddened in anger, letting go of the kettle and sending Kuno crashing to the ground. He landed on his head with a thud. "That hurt, you know," he said.

Ranma jumped down to face him. "Coward?" she shouted. "Take this!" She connected a kick with his chin, sending him flying. As he landed, Ranma walked up to him. "And Ranma Saotome's even better than _me,_" she said smugly. She motioned for Akane to come over. "Let's go home," she said.

Akane started walking next to her. "I'd say no," she said, "since it's the middle of the day and all, but after all the fighting, I just want to get you out of your clothes." Ranma's blush returned.

* * *

><p>Akane walked along the sidewalk. She was trying to find Ranma, and she didn't know exactly where to look. Both through Nabiki and his own means, Kuno had made it clear that he wanted the red-haired girl in the worst way. Akane wasn't insulted by his change of heart— he'd made it clear that he still wanted her, and she had to admit, it was pretty hard not to be attracted to girl-Ranma's curves. Akane had lobbied unsuccessfully for a three-way with the upperclassman, but Ranma wouldn't hear of it. She backed off after Ranma a nightmare— he really was freaked by the guy's affection, and she didn't want to upset him further.<p>

Now, he had gone to find Kuno to put an end to things once and for all, but she didn't know the details. Unfortunately for her, he'd raced off impulsively while she was smashing bricks. She desperately wanted to see him in action again; when she'd gotten word of his intentions, she'd set off looking for him. So far, no luck. Furinkan High and the nearest park showed no signs of having been used as a battlefield.

_Thud!_

Akane perked up. She'd found him.

Peeking around a wall, she found Ranma, a guy, squaring off with Kuno. There was a flurry of action, with the two artists rushing together only to bounce back apart. Sneaking closer, she paused to watch from behind a statue. It was at that moment that a dodge from Ranma sent him lying at her feet.

"Hey, Akane," he said casually.

"I have to tell you... be real careful. Kuno's pretty vicious when he's fighting for real."

"And I have something to tell _you_. Those polka-dot panties don't really suit you."

Akane smirked. "I knew I should've gone commando."

Ranm blushed, while Akane pointed toward Kuno. "Here he comes!" she said. Ranma leapt to his feet, flying toward the upperclassman. There was another blur of motion from the two, and a near miss from Ranma sent a number of pieces of paper flying out of Kuno's shirt. Ranma grabbed one out of midair, his eyes widening as he saw a picture of his girl side, lying asleep in his bed. His distraction gave Kuno an opening, as he laid his bokken into Ranma's side. Ranma hit the ground hard, and another swipe sent cracks spreading through the statue that Akane was hiding behind.

"Watch it!" Ranma yelled, grabbing her just as the statue fell. Akane pointed. "Eyes front!" she yelled, as Ranma turned to see Kuno coming at them. Releasing Akane, he jumped at the boy. His feet a blur, he landed several kicks on Kuno, each one in a vulnerable spot. Kuno stood still for a moment, before flopping face-first to the ground.

Akane walked up to Ranma, as Nabiki appeared. Akane eyed her sister. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Just watching. How'd you manage to stop him like that, Ranma?"

Akane rolled Kuno over, as the girls marveled at the footprints along his front. "You _kicked_ him?" Nabiki said in surprise. "I didn't even see your feet move!" Akane looked at her fiancée, worried. "You took a hit, too," she observed. "You okay?" Ranma waved a hand dismissively. "It's nothing," he replied.

Akane poked his side, the touch causing him to double over in pain. She put her hands on his shoulders. "It's not nothing," she said. "Let's go see Doctor Tofu. I need you healthy if we're going to keep testing the strength of my bed." Ranma blushed a deep crimson, as Akane looked at him questioningly.

"Hey, what _did_ distract you, anyway?"

Ranma grabbed a handful of pictures from the ground. "These." He handed them to her.

Akane looked through the stack. "You were looking at pictures of me during a fight? Wow. You really _do_ like me as much as I like you."

Ranma was confused. "Of _you_? The ones I saw were of my girl side." He took the pictures from Akane. "And I didn't have them... Kuno did." He looked at the picture on top of the stack: Akane, naked, lying on her back with her knees up and her feet flat on the floor. Her legs were spread, with two of her fingers slipped into a certain opening. The camera couldn't have been more two feet away. A drop of blood started to form on his nose.

Akane picked up some more photos, this time finding the pictures of a sleeping Ranma. Her face flashed with anger, as she rushed over to Nabiki, grabbing her by the front of her dress.

"Nabiki!"

Nabiki shrugged. "Can't blame a girl for trying to make a little cash!"

Akane leaned close. "Nabiki, I really want to get Ranma to pose with me, and you're going to scare him off if you go and take pictures behind his back!"

"Sorry, sis. I knew Kuno would pay big bucks right away and didn't want to miss out."

"Well... don't do it any more. With any luck I can set up some girl-on-girl shots with him"

Nabiki grinned. "Ooh... those'll make a mint!"

"Not if he chickens out, so keep away!"

Nabiki raised her hands defensively, as Akane returned to a comatose Ranma. She squinted at the boy. "You like the pictures?" she asked innocently.

Ranma didn't move. "Your... your _sister_ took these pictures?" he replied, his voice barely a whisper.

Akane leaned over to see which picture he was looking at. She grinned. "It might seem kinda weird," she said, "but Nabiki knew how much money they'd make, and that got her past any other weirdness. Now come on, we need to get you to Doctor Tofu. Besides, I've got about a hundred other shots like that at home."

Ranma's eyes unfocused slightly at that statement. Akane rolled her eyes with a smile, leading him away.

It was only a few minutes before they reached Doctor Tofu's office. Ranma was coherent by then, and Tofu managed to bandage him quickly. The biggest surprise turned out to be Doctor Tofu's new assistant, Genma the panda. Both teens rolled their eyes at the sight of the furball sweeping the walk.

As they sat in the exam room, the phone rang. Genma tried to answer it, with an obvious lack of success. Akane took the phone from him. "Why'd you pick it up if you can't talk?" she hissed, before putting the phone to her ear. "Hello? Yes? Uh-huh. Okay, I'll tell him." She hung the phone up.

"Ranma... we need to get out of here. Now."

"Why?"

"There's this girl that Doctor Tofu likes, and, well... he gets a little crazy around her. He could seriously break your neck on accident when she's in the room. It's only going to take her a minute or two to get here, so we need to move!"

Ranma cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, so he turned you down because he had his eye on somebody else, huh?"

"Yeah, and she's a lot more straight-laced, which is probably why I couldn't get him to budge. Now come on!"

"Maybe you shoulda asked for a three-way," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"If you knew who she was, you'd understand why I didn't. Now, get up! You'll be sorry if we don't get out of here in time!"

"But he was getting me some salve for this!"

"You're going to need a lot more than salve if..."

Right then, the chimes on the door rang. An all-too-familiar voice called out to them. "Hello! Is anyone in?" There was a sudden burst of noise from Tofu's office. "_Kasumi!_" he cried. A second later, there was a bang, followed by what sounded like Tofu hitting the floor. Akane grabbed Ranma's arm and dragged him out. They passed Kasumi in the lobby.

"Oh, hello, Akane. Is Doctor Tofu in?"

"Yeahhe'sinthebackcan'tstaygottago!" With that, she shoved Ranma out the front door, pulling him down the street.

After a moment, they stopped. Ranma scratched his head. "Kasumi?" he said. "Well no wonder he wouldn't go on a date with ya. You two are like night and day!" Akane rolled her eyes. "Ugh!" she spat. "I know! Who would've thought that _Kasumi_ would steal a guy right out from under me! Figuratively speaking. And she doesn't even seem to know he likes her!"

"Yeah, well... if Kasumi is his type, you weren't."

Akane smiled. "I know. But I still didn't give up. Persistence pays off sometimes." She looked at him. "Though I got pretty lucky, having you handed to me on a platter."

Ranma blushed as they turned toward home and started walking.

* * *

><p><em>AN: A reviewer of the first chapter thought that Kuno might have run away from Akane in the first chapter do to her sluttiness. Ironically, I was afraid that I was being unrealistic the other way. The way Kuno talked to her and girl-Ranma... canon Kuno just might have taken her right there on the grass._

_Thanks again for all of the reviews, even if they aren't glowing. As lovely as unending praise is, it most like having a story whose merits yield discussion— if it's good enough to be analyzed, I'm happy. Stay tuned for the next chapter!_


	3. Getting Porked

_A/N: One word of warning: a couple of events in this story arc are reordered; specifically, Ryoga shows up in the middle of the night before his fight with Ranma. This is because I had a specific idea that would only work if I changed things around. Just giving you a heads-up._

* * *

><p>Ranma and Akane strolled down the front walk of Furinkan High, Akane clinging to Ranma's arm, as he blushed from the attention. He'd only been there a week, so despite Akane's forwardness, he still wasn't completely used to her affection. The irritating part of it was the attention from everybody else— for some reason, the other students saw fit to gossip endlessly about the two of them. Akane assured him that it would die off eventually, but that was something he'd believe when he saw.<p>

Suddenly, he sensed danger. He stopped, pushing Akane back, as something came into view from the sky above. "Ranma Saotome!" a voice cried out. "Prepare to die!" Ranma leapt backwards, pulling Akane with him, as a figure slammed into the sidewalk in front of them, leaving a massive crater. The pair stared at the newcomer: a boy their age, with conspicuous fangs and sporting a yellow and black bandanna. The figure looked at Ranma, his eyes narrow. "Ranma Saotome," he said. "You walked out on a man-to-man fight. Now I'm here to destroy your happiness!"

Ranma sucked in a breath, afraid that the boy planned to do something with Akane. After all, things had been pretty good since he'd arrived. Akane leaned close. "Do you know that guy?" she asked. Ranma thought for a moment. "I think…" he muttered, racking his brain with the little bit that familiar about the boy. Then, it hit him. "Yeah!" he said. "You're that guy from my old school! You're… um… ah…"

"Ryoga Hibiki!"

"That's it! Ryoga! How ya doin' old buddy?"

Ryoga looked to be in no mood for a happy reunion. "Ranma… why didn't you show up for our fight?"

Ranma blinked. As his memories of who Ryoga was came back, he remembered the fight as well, but… "Ryoga… I waited for you for three days!"

"Three days?" Akane asked, surprised.

Ryoga fumed. "Yes, and when I arrived on the fourth, you were nowhere to be found!"

"Ryoga," Ranma said plainly, "correct me if I'm wrong, but… wasn't the spot that we agreed to meet at right behind your house? How did it take you four days to show up?"

"What, you think it took me that long on purpose? You think I was just happily strolling around Honshu? I went through hell!"

Akane put a hand on Ranma's arm. "What was the fight about?" she asked. "He looks really mad that it didn't happen."

Her question jogged his mind. "Just a minute!" he shouted, sprinting away. The bewildered Akane simply watched him go, as did Ryoga. She studied the new guy, unimpressed to say the least. His body might have been all right, but from the neck up he looked like a monkey crawling headfirst into his shirt. She bit her lip to avoid grinning— he probably wanted to fight Ranma because he was jealous of his looks. If Ranma weren't so inexperienced, she'd have swore that he stole a girl from the boy.

Ranma arrived back on the scene, dumping a huge pile of prewrapped snacks at Ryoga's feet. Ryoga looked at him, confused. "What's all this?" he asked.

"Egg bread, curry bread, you name it. To make up for the lunch lines at school. There. We even now?"

Akane leaned over to look at the pile. "You two were fighting over _bread?_"

Ranma nodded. "At my old school, lunch could be pretty cutthroat. First come, first served. If you wanted the best stuff, you had to get there fast; if you took too long, you could go hungry. I always beat him to the front of the line. That's why he challenged me in the first place."

Ryoga reddened in anger. "Ranma… you think this will make up for what you've done to me? This is an insult!"

Now, Ranma was thoroughly confused. "If it wasn't the bread, then what…"

"Shut up! It's time for you to pay, Saotome! Fight me!"

He leapt at Ranma, who grabbed Akane and jumped out of the way. Landing beyond them, Ryoga stopped, immediately confused. He'd moved far enough that his surroundings seemed new, and he couldn't see Ranma and Akane, who were now right behind him. Ranma put a hand to his face. "The idiot got lost again," he muttered.

Ryoga sprinted through the door of the school, disappearing inside. Akane looked at Ranma. "You want to go catch him," she asked, "or should we just go and let him find you again?" Ranma rolled his eyes. "Let's just go," he replied. Akane nodded, and the two started walking toward home.

Ranma looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Don't even suggest me and him do something perverted to settle things, okay? I told you before, I'm not into guys."

Akane shook her head. "Eh, he's got a decent physique, but he looks like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. There are a lot cuter guys than him that I'd try for first."

Ranma grinned. "Ha!"

* * *

><p><em>Wham!<em>

Akane sat bolt upright, startled awake by the loud sound that came from outside.

_Thud!_

She jumped out of bed, racing to the door and peeking out. She was met by the sight of her sisters doing the same. "What's all the noise?" Nabiki whispered. Akane shrugged. Kasumi looked frightened. "Prowlers?" she suggested. Nabiki looked to Akane. "Well," she said, "_you're_ the fighter among us."

Akane nodded, stepping into the hallway. Nabiki held a hand up. "Ah, Akane… clothes…" Akane looked down, remembering that sleeping nude and not stopping to put a robe on meant that she was still completely exposed. Ducking back into her room, she grabbed a robe, throwing it on and running downstairs. The sisters watched her go, as her robe, which was barely long enough to cover her fun zone, bounced up to expose her with each step. Nabiki shook her head. "Where do you even _buy_ clothes like that?" she mumbled.

One of her dumbbells in hand, Akane crept to the door looking out into the garden, with Nabiki and Kasumi following close behind. There was a fight raging for sure, but it was pouring rain, and she couldn't make out what was going on. Squinting, she thought that one of the figures was a female Ranma. "That's Ranma," she whispered. "She must be chasing off a prowler. I think I'll give her a hand." With that, she took aim, flinging the dumbbell. With a crack, it hit the other, and as he jolted to a stop, she made out the form of Ryoga, holding an umbrella which quickly dropped to the ground. "Oh," she muttered. "It's him." He jumped over the wall and out of sight.

Ranma came to the doorway, as Akane admired the wet undershirt she was wearing. "Nice view," she said.

Ranma blinked. "Huh?" She looked down. "Oh." Her eyes drifted to Akane's bare legs, the super-short robe naturally drawing the sixteen-year-old's attention. Akane grinned. "You like?" she asked, twirling. Ranma blushed.

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Just tell your friend to confine his challenges to the daytime, okay, Ranma?" she drawled sleepily. Ranma shook her head. "Eh, showed up outta nowhere. I woke up lying in the koi pond. If I'da woke up before the fight started, I'da told him to get lost."

Nabiki nodded, as she and Kasumi headed back upstairs. Akane surveyed her dripping fiancée. "You look frozen," she said. "Want me to help you warm up?" Ranma's blush returned, a smile tugging at her lips. Then, her head shot up. "Actually," she said. "I think it's important I find Ryoga. You go ahead and go back to bed."

Akane leaned over to give her a quick kiss. "Okay," she replied. "I guess I'll see you in the morning." She turned, flipping the bottom of the robe up to give Ranma a quick flash of skin. A single drop of blood dripped from the redhead's nose.

As soon as Akane was out of sight, Ranma ran out into the night, searching for Ryoga. She thought he'd figured out why Ryoga was so angry…

Upstairs, Akane closed the door behind her. She reached for the sash of the robe, but as she was about to untie it, she heard a rustling noise. She stopped. "Something's in here…" she muttered. In a flash, something darted across the room. It jumped, flying toward her. With a shriek, she slapped at it, knocking it to the floor.

She looked down at the thing that had jumped at her. It was a tiny pot-bellied pig, a black one. It trembled, looking at Akane in fear. She instantly felt bad for hitting it. "Oh, poor thing," she said. She held her hand down. "Come here. Come on, baby."

The little pig walked over to her, and she picked it up, cradling it in her arms. She noticed a lump on its head. "Poor thing!" she said. "You're hurt!" Heading back downstairs, she found Ranma sitting in the washitsu with a dog. "Ranma," she said. "Where'd the dog come from?" Ranma jumped. "I… uh…" the girl stammered, as Akane looked at the dog more closely. "I know this dog," she said. "That's the neighbor's dog, Bess. Hi, Bess!" The dog's tail wagged.

Ranma looked confused. She grabbed Akane's head and turned it. "Look away for a sec," she said, pouring water from a kettle over the dog. It shook its head, looking confused. Akane turned back when Ranma released her. She held out the piglet. "Look at what wandered into my room," she said. "Poor little thing is frozen. And it's got a bump on the head."

Ranma didn't look terribly interested. "Huh," she said. "Well, I'm going to get in the bath for a few before I go back to bed."

"Can you take the piggie with you?"

Ranma recoiled. "You want me to take that dirty little pig in the bath with me?"

"Please? The poor little thing needs warmed up." She ran a finger along the front of her robe. "I'm sure I can make it up to you…"

Ranma blushed. "I'm going," she said quickly, grabbing the pig. It immediately started fighting her, scratching at her and struggling to escape. Akane leaned down. "Now, be nice, little guy," she said. "Ranma here is _very_ gentle. I would know." Ranma's blush deepened as she hurried away.

Akane sat at the table, no longer tired after the night's events. She planned to ask Ranma to come to bed with her when he, presumably male, returned. Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. After just a minute, there was a crash, followed by squealing. The pig darted down the hallway, with a still-female Ranma right behind. It ran to Akane.

"Ranma!" Akane exclaimed. "What happened?"

"You scratched me!" Ranma yelled to the pig. "You ruined my perfect complexion!"

Akane was confused. "Was it scared of the water or something?"

"Ah…" Ranma stumbled. "Uh… no. It just doesn't like me. The minute I set it down, it started attacking me. Little jerk's got it in for me."

Akane held the pig up at eye level. "That's not very nice," she said. "Hurting the man I'm sleeping with."

Ranma and the pig both blushed.

Akane stood, still holding the pig. "Oh, well," she said. "I guess he didn't want warmed up. I'm taking him to bed." She gave Ranma a kiss. "Good night."

Ranma turned frantic. "Wait!" she shouted. "Don't take that thing into your room!"

"Why not?"

"Well… because…"

Akane leaned over, giving her a slow kiss. "Ranma," she whispered. "Don't worry. It's harmless. I'll see you in the morning." She turned and headed for the stairs, leaving a blushing Ranma behind.

Entering her bedroom, Akane sat the pig on her desk. She turned away, slowly untying the sash of her robe. With a shrug, she let it drop. She stretched, raising her arms over her head. A faint grin tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Okay, Ryoga," she said. "Here's the deal."

She turned around to face the wide-eyed black pig, whose nose was starting to bleed from the sight.

"I kind of like the idea of somebody peeping at me, so you get a free show. But… I _will not_ cheat on Ranma. Ever. So, don't you dare come near me. You try to get into my bed and I swear to the Kami I'll butcher you for breakfast. Understand?"

Ryoga nodded, trembling.

"Good." With a grin, she lifted a leg up, running her fingers along Ranma's favorite part of her anatomy. "You _wish_ you could get in here, don't you?" she drawled. Ryoga blinked… and fainted dead away. Akane shook her head. "Have _none_ of you ever been laid?" she muttered, climbing into bed. She drifted off to sleep.

She was awakened after a short time by someone landing on top of her. She opened her eyes, not knowing how long she'd actually managed to rest, and was surprised to see a now-male Ranma staring back at her in the dark. "Ranma?" she muttered. Then, she became fully aware of what she'd awoken to: Ranma… in her bed. She slid her hands around to grab onto his butt. "Ranma," she purred. "What a nice surprise."

"I wasn't tryin' anything, Akane! I was just…"

She cut him off with a kiss, sliding her hands up his chest to start unbuttoning his shirt. Ranma tried to pull away. "But… Ryoga…" he stammered. "I mean… the pig…" Akane put a finger to his lips. "Don't worry about the pig seeing anything," she whispered. "The worst that could happen is he gets a little jealous."

That statement may not have made sense under normal circumstances, but the blood was quickly rushing from Ranma's brain, and he was in no shape to comprehend anything. As she put her lips to his, he climbed fully into the bed. Ryoga peeked out from between two books on her bookshelf. Spying him, Akane turned her head to give him a wicked grin. She got to help her boyfriend with his enemy… how demoralizing must it have been to have to sit and watch the person you want to destroy have hot, passionate sex right in front of you?

Psychological warfare…

* * *

><p>Ranma and Ryoga stood on the athletic field, facing one another. From the sidelines, most of the student body of Furinkan High watched, including Akane and Nabiki, who was taking bets. Akane grinned. "Oh, this is going to be <em>good<em>," she muttered aloud. Finally, she got to see Ranma go full-out, right in front of her, from the start of the fight to the finish. This would be the biggest display of his might so far.

Ryoga charged, and Ranma dodged. Akane watched, smiling broadly. It was just like the times he'd fought Kuno: he was absolutely mopping the floor with the other guy. Ryoga was using weapons, even… but every time he sent one flying Ranma's direction, Ranma either dodged it effortlessly or kicked it away.

She watched as Ryoga sent his umbrella spinning, and with a kick, Ranma sent it flying to the sideline. With a leap, he landed both feet on Ryoga's chest, sending the boy sprawling. Glancing over, she noticed the umbrella laying just a few feet away, where several boys were struggling with it. Rising, she walked over to it, grabbing it by the handle. To her surprise, it was so heavy that she could barely move it. And Ryoga had been holding it with one hand…

As much as she loved watching him, arousal was instantly replaced by the deeper feelings she'd been having for him, and she worried for his safety. She turned to face the battle. "Ranma!" she yelled. "Don't get too close to him! He's incredibly strong!" Ranma pinned Ryoga just as Akane's words reached him, and quickly discovered it for himself, as Ryoga lifted the both of them with one hand placed on the ground. He tossed Ranma off, running in Akane's direction. She dove away, fearing that he was coming after her for warning Ranma; instead, he grabbed his umbrella, darting past the students and over the fence surrounding the school property. Ranma raced after, with Akane and most of the students following.

Akane reached them well ahead of the other students, catching them in a nearby park. She watched in awe as Ranma and Ryoga bounced off of nearby objects to charge at one another. Ryoga swiped with his umbrella, and with a truly lucky strike, managed to slice Ranma's shirt. Ranma looked irritated. "You ripped my favorite shirt!" he complained. Ryoga grinned smugly. "You sound like a girl, Saotome," he said.

Ranma reddened in anger. "Who are you callin' a _girl?_"

He threw himself full force at Ryoga, who jumped back, surprised at Ranma's ferocity. Finally, a kick sent Ryoga flying toward a nearby fountain. The boy popped his umbrella, avoiding the water, but Ranma was thrown directly into it. Now female, she sprang back out, facing Ryoga.

Akane heard feet behind her, announcing the impending arrival of the other students. "Ranma!" she shouted. As the redhead looked, Akane squeezed her breasts and pointed. Ranma looked down, quickly covering what the slashed shirt no longer did. Akane was starting to grow worried, however. Ranma had beaten Ryoga back by landing a few hits in between dodging Ryoga's attacks. Now, she wouldn't have the strength to do that. Glancing back, Akane saw that the students were just about to arrive. She turned. "Keep dodging!" she yelled back. "I'll get a kettle!"

As she took a step, she was startled by Ranma's voice. "Akane!" Ranma yelled. The distraction caused Akane to trip over a tree root, landing hard on her stomach. Any irritation she may have had for Ranma making her fall was instantly lost as she saw two of Ryoga's weapons whizzed past, slicing two cuts in her dress.

She would have been killed…

After a beat, she was swept up by Ranma, who carried her up and away, landing atop a gazebo. Akane sat, happy to be in Ranma's arms. "Akane," the redhead said gently. "Get away. Please."

"But you can't beat him as a girl!"

"Don't worry about me. C'mon, this is a fight between men. If you help me, it's butting in."

Akane rolled her eyes. "In case you missed it…" She poked one of Ranma's boobs. "…only _one_ of you is a man right now. Besides, butting in is hitting somebody. It's not butting in to just get you hot water."

"Please, Akane. It's just… you can't be this close. He's real dangerous. He almost hit you a minute ago."

"Well then, let's get out of this park, change you back, and you won't have to worry about…"

She was cut off as the gazebo under them shook. With a lurch, it dropped, throwing them to the ground. They looked up to see Ryoga, who had cut a leg out from under the gazebo. Ranma jumped up, dragging Akane to her feet and giving her a shove. "Go!" she shouted. Akane turned, with every intention of coming back with a kettle. She was sure that she could help.

She heard a shout. "Akane!" Ranma's voice called. She turned, frightened by the panic in Ranma's voice…

…and felt Ryoga's bandanna as it sliced her hair clean off, above her shoulders.

She stood, numb, as Ranma and Ryoga raced up to her. She had always worked very hard on her appearance, and had loved her hair. She'd always loved playing with it when she flirted with someone. She reached up to touch where it had been sliced. It was gone. Just… gone. Tears started to form in her eyes.

Ranma looked at her, as though she were facing off with a poisonous snake. "Akane?" she said softly. Ryoga approached, looked, and scoffed. "She's not hurt," he said, seemingly uncaring. Ranma turned to glare. "Her hair is," she yelled. "and she really liked her hair! She might as well be hurt!" She turned to face Akane again. "This is my fault," she said. "I dragged you into this. Hit me. Please. It'll make you feel better."

Ryoga stepped up. "If it will make you feel better," he said arrogantly, "you may hit me as well." Akane looked sorrowfully at Ranma, then at Ryoga. Her face went blank and she started to turn red, the color growing in intensity until she nearly matched Ranma's hair. Anger flashed in her eyes and her lips dropped into a scowl. With a swing, she punched Ryoga hard enough to send him sprawling on the asphalt. With a leap, she jumped on him, grabbing his hair and smashing his head into the pavement. She screamed with fury as she continued to slam his head down, over and over, each blow making a sickening thud that echoed off of everything nearby.

Ranma jumped at the display of ferocity, racing to Akane and grabbed her around the waist. "Akane!" she shouted. "C'mon! Easy!" She pulled with all her might, but Akane had a death grip on Ryoga; the end result was Ranma comically dragging Akane by the waist while she dragged Ryoga by the hair. Finally, with a hard tug, Akane lost her grip, and Ryoga dropped to the ground, looking around through unfocused eyes. Akane swung at air. "I'll kill him!" she screamed. "Lemme go! Let me crush his skull like a walnut!"

Ranma pulled her back, struggling to keep hold. "Akane," she said, as gently as she could manage. "C'mon, Akane. Calm down. You'll give yourself a stroke or something." Panting, Akane stopped struggling, as Ranma released her grip. After a beat, Akane threw herself on her, sobbing loudly. Ranma held her as she bawled, wailing in a way that Ranma had never imagined she could. Finally, she calmed down, catching her breath. Ranma looked into her eyes. "Better?" she asked. Akane nodded. Ranma turned, leading her away. "Let's go home, okay?" she said. Akane nodded again.

After a few steps, Akane felt a pain in her ankle. She took a limping step. "I must've twisted it in the tree root," she said sadly. "Better go see Doctor Tofu. Let's go home, first, though."

* * *

><p>A few hours later, the teens sat in the exam room in Tofu's clinic, Ranma back to his male form. Kasumi had managed to turn Akane's ragged hair into a decent cut, and, looking in the mirror, Akane had actually been happy with the new look. A smile tugged at her face as Tofu bandaged her ankle. "Thanks, Doctor Tofu," she said, her usual friendly teasing tone replaced with a genuine one. "I guess with all of my effort going into trying to get a date, I never paid attention to how helpful you are to me." Tofu smiled up at her. "It's my pleasure," he replied.<p>

He left the room, while Ranma helped her down from the table. She wrapped him in a hug. "Ranma," she whispered, "I know that we've been having a lot of fun together, but…" She pulled back to look at him. "I want you to know that you're more to me than just a guy that's really sexy. I really…" She pulled him in a tight hug. "I really do love you."

Ranma blushed. "I… I love you, too…" he replied.

* * *

><p>Akane sat on the edge of her bed, undressed and about to climb in. As she'd spent more time with Ranma, she'd wanted to tell him just what she thought of him, but… she just couldn't figure out what to say. Then, she almost got chopped to pieces twice... it had made her realize that some things just couldn't wait. She was glad she'd told him, though. He didn't seem like the type of guy that was only looking for one thing, so she knew that the sex wouldn't be the only thing between them. She'd had the impression from the moment that they walked out of the furoba on his first day that he had feelings for her, but she still had to be sure that there was something real. The realization that she could have been killed had sent her emotions spinning. She was scared… and there was Ranma coming to save her. It was no wonder that she loved him.<p>

And besides, it had him acting all shy again, and that was _really_ cute.

She heard a soft noise, and looked to see her unlatched door open slightly. Looking down, she saw a familiar black pig enter. She looked on, incredulous, as Ryoga sat in the middle of the floor. Her anger flaring, she balled her hands into fists. "You didn't seriously come up here looking for a show, did you?" she said through clenched teeth. "After what you did to me earlier?" Ryoga shrugged.

Akane lost all control. With a scream, she grabbed a dumbbell and sent it flying at him; he just barely managed to dodge, scurrying for the door. With a leap, she grabbed him, racing downstairs with him in hand. She ran into the kitchen, where Ranma was poking around the refrigerator. He looked up, unsure of what to make of the sight: a naked Akane, red with anger, holding pig Ryoga. Her teeth clenched like a growling dog, Akane yanked the microwave door open, threw Ryoga in, and slammed it shut.

Ranma leapt at her. "Whoa!" he shouted, wrapping her in a bear hug and pulling her away. After a moment, he realized that he had a boob in each hand, and let go, blushing furiously. Akane shook her head, trying to organize her thoughts. Noticing the blushing Ranma, she smiled with an eyeroll. "After all we've done," she whispered, "you still get shy?"

Ranma snapped back to reality. "Akane, you can't… the pig… you can't…"

"Can't what?"

"Y'know… kill him. He's… he's… well, you just can't."

Akane frowned. "Ranma, I know it's Ryoga."

"You see…" Her words registered. "Wait… you know? And you still took him to your room?"

Akane grinned. "Of course. How else was I going to force him to watch me get plowed by his worst enemy in the world? It's not like I let him touch me, or get in my bed…"

Ranma cocked an eyebrow. "Geez, Akane… you can be downright sadistic."

"Yeah, well…"

"So what's going on, now?"

Akane darkened. "The little bastard thought he could show up to get a look at my body. I might've let him peek before, but after what he did to my hair…"

Ranma led her to the door. "Let me handle it, okay, Akane? Don't go doin' something you'll wish you hadn't."

Akane nodded. She wrapped him in a loving hug, giving him a soft kiss, before deepening it. She stepped into the hallway. "All right," she said. "But after everything that happened, I don't want to be alone tonight. Once you're done doing whatever you're going to do, come up to my room so we can spend some time together, okay?"

Ranma nodded, his blush deepening. She left, as he watched her naked rear move down the hallway. Once she was out of sight, he went over to the microwave, opening the door slightly. Ryoga tried to race out, but Ranma held the door to where the pig couldn't fit through the opening.

"Ryoga," he said. "Calm down and listen or I'll leave you in there."

Ryoga stopped struggling.

"Ryoga," he said. "I don't know if you realized that Akane knew about your curse. If she didn't, you tricked her into taking you upstairs before she figured it out. Even if she knew already, you still agreed to go up. Then, you almost cut her earlier. So, I'll tell you what. You get out of here and don't try anything else with her. If you show up again, I ain't goin' to stop her from doin' whatever she wants to do. Got it?"

Ryoga nodded, and Ranma flung the door open. The piglet raced out, flying through the washitsu and out the door, into the night. Ranma turned the lights out, heading for Akane's room. After everything that had happened, he wanted to be close to her as much as she wanted to be close to him.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Whoa! Akane _can _get mad!_

_In my fic _Chill Pill_, I wrote the Amazons out. I am not doing that with Ryoga here. In fact, I must mention a change to the outline I gave you last chapter. There's going to be another chapter, and it's coming up next: Ryoga part 2. Tuatara, a FFNet user that I've conversed with several times, gave me a suggestion that I just couldn't ignore. It turns out that there's a story arc, further ahead in the manga than I'd read when I started this, in which a magic fishing rod causes Ranma to fall in love with Ryoga. *evil grin* Oh, I can have some fun with that… Tuatara's idea is far too good not to use, so it will be next._

_You might be wondering how Akane figured out that the pig was Ryoga. First, obviously, I made her a bit smarter. Think of the chain of events: Ranma turns her head to pour water on the dog, during which time she could logically hear the water hitting the floor; the pig hates Ranma for no reason; the pig blushes when she suggests taking it to bed; and at some point, she notices the bandana and fangs. If anything, canon Akane was a bit dense at that part of the story. I guess we can attribute it to being woken up in the middle of the night. Plus, what's a manga without a little suspense?_

_Oh, and in case you're worried, Akane's not homicidal. She wouldn't have killed him, just tortured him a while by threatening to nuke him while keeping him trapped inside._


	4. A Sucky Relationship

_A/N: Tuatara gets the credit for this chapter coming about. As I was outlining where this story would go, I hadn't come up with a good way to get from Ryoga escaping at the end of the last chapter, to him showing up to help Akane with Kodachi. In discussing the story in PM, Tuatara mention an arc about Ryoga and the fishing rod of love. So, I went and looked through it, and with an evil grin, I had the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it._

* * *

><p>Ryoga picked through the clutter of items in front of him. Fairs were always filled with merchant's tents, which could have some great finds… or piles of worthless junk. He always made a point to check, but so far, the one he was in was starting to look like the latter. Then, something caught his eye. It was a basket filled with fishing rods; the sign in front of it said "Hook your true love!" His curiosity piqued. "Hey, old man," he said to the man running the place. "What can you tell me about these things?"<p>

The old man saw what he was holding and grinned. "Excellent choice, my boy!" he said. "The fishing rod of love! Just hit the girl of your dreams with the little suction cup on the end, and she's all yours!"

Ryoga's eyes widened as an idea filtered into his brain. It was his life's purpose to get revenge on Ranma… who seemed to be having an awful lot of fun with that girlfriend of his. Ryoga broke into an evil grin. He could suction-cup Ranma's slutty girlfriend and steal her away. It was perfect! Ranma would be miserable, and once the girl was successfully yanked from Ranma's grasp, he could just dump her off. And, to top it all off, she'd do just about anything he wanted… A drop of blood formed on his nostril, and he shook his head to clear his mind. Those were things he was saving for someone special. Still, the chance to get Ranma …

"I'll take it!"

* * *

><p>Ranma and Akane turned the corner, as Akane said goodbye to her friends. She leaned on him. "Want to spar when we get home?" she asked. "Then we can… you know… wind down together, too." Ranma blushed a bit. "That does sound kinda nice," he said quietly.<p>

He stopped in his tracks, sensing danger. He shoved Akane out of harm's way as something flew at the pair from an alley ahead of them. It landed on his chest, stuck, and he was suddenly yanked through the air. Looking at his chest, he saw that he was tethered by some kind of string that had latched onto him. Looking down, he saw that Ryoga was at the other end of the line, and Ranma made a point to land directly on his head. "Hey, Ryoga," he said simply. "How's it going?"

Akane jogged around the corner, stopping abruptly when she saw who had pulled Ranma away. Her eyes narrowed. "Oh," she said coldly, "it's you." Ryoga knocked Ranma off of him, while Ranma yanked the suction cup loose. He rubbed his chest where it had stuck. "What the hell was that thing, Ryoga?" he asked. "It itches where it hit me." Looking closer, he noticed a small red mark. He smacked Ryoga. "It left a mark!" he complained.

Ryoga rubbed his temples. His plan was half-baked enough that it hadn't occurred to him that his aim might suck. If he was going to get revenge on Ranma, it was time to go back to square one. He turned. "Gotta go!" he called, running away. Ranma and Akane watched him go. "That was weird," Ranma said.

When they arrived home a few minutes later, they were surprised to find Ryoga drinking tea at their table, with Akane's sisters and both fathers also lounging around. Nabiki waved to them as they entered. "I ran into Ryoga down the street," she said. Akane reflexively reached back and touched her hair, her jaw tightening in anger. Kasumi smiled sweetly at Ryoga. "So," she said. "You're a friend of Ranma's?"

"Not really. I'm on a quest to defeat him."

"That'll be a never-ending quest," Akane drawled, earning a dirty look from the boy. She looked to Ranma, expecting him to be smirking, but he wasn't. In fact, it almost looked like he felt bad that she'd insulted Ryoga. He quickly sat at the table next to Ryoga, while a bewildered Akane sat on his other side.

Right as they were finishing dinner, Ranma stood abruptly. He pointed to Ryoga. "Ryoga," he said, "can I talk to you? Alone?" Ryoga cringed; there was no doubt that Ranma wanted to smack him around about the fishing rod incident. Still, he was confident that he'd win the fight, so there wasn't any reason to refuse.

Ranma led him outside, where they hopped up onto the roof. The lost boy stood impatiently. "What do you want?" he asked, irritated.

Ranma sighed. "Ryoga," he said. "Do you really only think of me as your sworn enemy that you have to defeat?"

Ryoga blinked. Ranma's whole demeanor was throwing him for a loop; he looked… vulnerable. It certainly wasn't what he expected. "What _else_ would I consider you?"

"You don't have any… feelings… for me?"

"Saotome, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Can we at least be friends?"

Ryoga looked at him like David Silverman looks at Bill O'Reilly. "F… friends? Just how many hits to the head have you taken?"

Tears formed in Ranma's eyes. "So, we can't even be friends?"

Ryoga blinked. "Wait a minute. What are—"

Ranma smiled broadly, grabbing Ryoga's hands. "We can? That's great! See you later best buddy!" He skipped away, as a dumbfounded Ryoga watched him go. "I really gave him brain damage, didn't I?" he muttered.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Akane awoke and prepared for her morning jog. Usually, she'd see Ranma practicing in the yard or dojo, but for the first time since he'd arrived, he was nowhere to be found. The yard was silent. Akane stood, looking around in confusion, before she set out. 'I'll check in on him when I get back,' she thought, worrying a bit that he was sick. As she left, she didn't notice a tent pitched under a tree in the adjoining vacant lot.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Ryoga looked at the teary-eyed Ranma, smirking, as he slid his arm around Akane. "Sorry, Saotome," he said. "She went with the better martial artist. Guess you weren't so good after all." They turned to leave as Ranma slumped to the ground. Ryoga gave Akane a kiss on the cheek. "I got us a room at that hotel we were talking about," he said quietly. Her face brightened. "It's like a honeymoon!" she said, excited.<em>

_Ryoga smirked. 'As far as you know,' he thought. 'Wait 'til you wake up tomorrow morning and I'm nowhere to be found!' He fought back a laugh, as they passed a cafe. "Ooh, the miso smells good," Akane said. "We should stop in!" Ryoga nodded, then paused. "Wait a minute," he said out loud. "Since when is there a restaurant here?"_

He awoke with a start, in his tent where he'd fallen asleep the night before. "What a weird dream," he muttered sleepily, before he noticed something: the very real smell of miso. He sat up, listening as he heard the sounds of cooking coming from outside. Confused, he opened the tent and poked his head out, nearly falling on his face at the sight of a cheerful Ranma sitting in front of a cooking pot and fire. Ranma turned at the sound. His face lit up. "Good morning, dear," Ranma said. "I'm making miso soup for you. It'll be done in a minute. I washed all of your clothes that I could find, too."

Ryoga blinked. It was too early in the morning for that kind of insanity. "Saotome," he said, "just what the hell are you planning?"

"Planning? Nothing. I just wanted to see you smile!"

Ryoga's eyes narrowed. "And just how the hell am I supposed to smile when a _guy_ is taking care of me!"

Ranma paused. "Oh," he said. "I didn't think of that." He grabbed a bucket that was sitting on the ground next to him, and dumped it over his head. The redheaded girl looked at Ryoga. "Sorry," she said, "is this better?"

Ryoga rolled his eyes, and an idea hit him. "The fishing rod…" he muttered, turning and scurrying into the tent. Inside, he dug through his things, grabbing the instructions to the koi rod. He read the paper quickly:

The one who you strike will have the seed of love  
>placed upon her breast. The seed will blossom into<br>a full-blown romance. A mark on the breast, from  
>the size of a dot to a carp shape will be proof of<br>the love's growth. Happy hunting!

Ryoga blinked. "A mark," he muttered, turning to see Ranma peeking in through the door. He grabbed her by the arm. "Come here, 'dear'," he said, yanking her inside and tossing her onto his bed. Ranma squealed. "Ooh," she cooed, "I didn't know we were this far into our relationship!" Ryoga grumbled, then blanched as his eyes landed on a mark on her breast… resembling a carp…

Akane jogged back to the house. She hoped that Ranma would be alright when she found him; being alone with her thoughts while she jogged had her even more worried about him. It wasn't like him to be out-of-commission. As she approached the house, she caught sight of a tent in the lot next door, and stopped. "Is that Ryoga guy really sleeping out here in a tent?" she wondered aloud. She jumped as the tent shook. A voice came from inside. "Ooh, Ryoga," a girl's voice said. "I love that you think of me in that way!"

Akane blinked. "Ranma?"

She jogged over to the tent and yanked the flap open. She was met by the sight of a female Ranma, her shirt open and her breasts exposed, with Ryoga laying on top of her. A smile crossed Akane's face. "Don't mind me," she said, closing the flap. After a second, she yanked the flap back open. "Got room for one more?" she asked.

Ryoga jumped and darted past her, out of the tent and all the way into the street. "It's not like that!" he cried, frantically waving his arms. Akane smirked. "Relax," she said. "I like the idea of you two hooking up!" Ryoga turned an alarming shade of green and hurried out of sight. Akane shrugged and looked in at Ranma. "Want to screw in Ryoga's bed?" she asked. Ranma shrugged, buttoning her shirt and pushing past Akane to leave the tent and walk away. Akane sat, completely befuddled by the cold shoulder.

"What the hell was _that_ all about?"

* * *

><p>Things weren't any clearer in homeroom an hour later. Akane kept glancing to Ranma, or more specifically, what he was doodling in his notebook. It was a (not bad) drawing of Ryoga, surrounded by stars, with "I Love Ryoga" written several times. She was completely dumfounded. There was definitely nothing wrong with Ranma wanting to get closer to Ryoga; she would've preferred Kuno, but the though of Ranma locking lips with any guy was enough to give her goosebumps. But… it didn't fit. He was always adamant that he didn't like guys and could never do anything with one. Why the sudden change? And then there was the fact that he wasn't just showing physically attraction. He acting like he was head-over-heels, and at the same time, acting cold toward her. He hadn't so much as kissed her the entire morning. It wasn't like him at all. Either he'd lost his mind, or was under a spell, or had drank a love potion… She didn't believe for a second that he'd had a change of heart so suddenly. As much as she liked the idea of him bringing another guy into their relationship, it wasn't going to happen with him acting that way.<p>

That was the part that really had her confused. How did he end up with Ryoga in the first place? Ryoga certainly didn't seem to have feelings for him; if anything, he hated him. His running away earlier that morning seemed to confirm that. Did somebody else give Ranma a love potion and it backfired? Kuno, maybe? She'd have to keep an eye on Ranma until she figured out a way to fix things.

* * *

><p>That afternoon, they walked home in silence. It felt like there was a mile of space between them. Akane cleared her throat. "Ranma," she asked.<p>

"Hm?"

"Are you and Ryoga… dating? I mean, are you a couple?"

Ranma looked wistful. "Yes. We're very happy together."

Akane blinked. "When did _that_ happen?"

"Just a couple days ago."

Hurt welled up in Akane. She stepped in front of him, forcing him to an abrupt halt. "Didn't you think you should tell the girlfriend you already had first? How can you stand there and act like we didn't have anything between us?"

Ranma brushed past her. "Just stand aside, little girl. We never had anything as deep as I have with Ryoga." He walked away, as Akane stopped, wiping a tear from her eye. She needed to find Ryoga and see what he knew. This was going to stop. She sprinted for home to change, all the while hoping that Ryoga was in his tent next door.

* * *

><p>Ryoga returned to his tent, having gotten lost when he ran away from Ranma and Akane. He shook his head, trying to clear out what he'd seen earlier. Ranma, as a boy, looking at him with eyes that… he stopped as the last thing he'd eaten threatened to come back up. He feared that the expression on Ranma's face would haunt him until the day he died. And then, who should walk in but Ranma's girlfriend? He could just see the delight in her eyes. He looked around. She was probably spying on him at that very moment, hoping to catch a glimpse of he and Ranma… he broke into a run, as his lunch again fought with him.<p>

Arriving at his tent, Ryoga yanked the flap open, only to stop and stare in shock at what was inside: Ranma, female, in a skimpy pair of shorts and pulling a tight tank top over her naked breasts. She smiled. "Oh, hello, dear!" she said cheerfully. He immediately turned his attention to the mark on her chest, which had expanded. He cringed. It was only getting worse.

Before he could react, he was grabbed by Ranma, and found her lips crushed to his own. He pulled back in disgust, as she pressed her body against his. "What's wrong, dear?" she asked. "You were so forward this morning."

Ryoga shook his head. "No," he said. She tried to kiss him again, and as he backed away, he became aware of the effect that the closeness of her body was having on _his_ body. He jumped, sliding his knees back to avoid having her feel his protrusion. "No!" he shouted. "No! No! No!" He pushed her away roughly, and the expression on her face changed. Instantly, she was red with anger, grabbing a tea kettle nearby and taking her usual masculine form. "Now you've hurt my feelings," the now-male Ranma said.

Ryoga suddenly found himself under assault by a volley of punches. "Ryoga!" Ranma cried. "You think you're going to dump me, pretty boy?" Ryoga dove from the tent, jumped to his feet, and ran. He needed to get away and figure something out. With Ranma on his heels, he ran for his life.

A few minutes later, Akane cautiously approached the tent. "Anybody here?" she asked. "Ryoga? Ranma?" She pushed the flap of the tent aside, instantly shocked by the war zone inside. There had been a fight inside; there was no doubt about that. She stepped in and started rummaging though what she found, looking for anything that could make sense of things. She immediately found the fishing rod, and its instructions. As she started reading, her blood boiled, as she remembered Ryoga yanking Ranma in the air. "He _is_ under a spell," she muttered, "and Ryoga did it! He'd better pray there's a way to reverse it!"

At that moment, Ryoga sprinted down a crowded street in Nerima's main commercial district, with Ranma right on his heels. With a leap, Ranma caught him, slamming him to the ground. Ryoga didn't even have the chance to stand before Ranma grabbed him by the shirt and hurled him high into the air. He landed hard in the middle of the street. "Oh, damn," he said. "He's gonna kill me. For real. I'm gonna die… I'm gonna die…"

Ranma stepped up to him, picking him up by the front of his shirt. Ryoga thought fast. "Darling," he said. "It's a misunderstanding. It's all my fault. Please." He did his best to give Ranma a loving look, all the while fighting hard against his gag reflex. Ranma looked at him angrily. "Oh, please," he said. "You really think I'd believe you after that?" He stared for a minute, before releasing Ryoga and wrapping him in a tight embrace. "Of course I do," he said. "I forgive you, dear."

Ryoga grimaced, looking around at the crowd that had gathered. "Could you tone it down a little?" he said weakly. "People are watching us." Ranma responded by placing his lips to Ryoga's neck and sucking gently, making Ryoga recoil in disgust. "Kami," Ryoga muttered, blushing in an unbearable mixture of embarrassment and horror. "Why can't you have a shy girlfriend? One that wouldn't teach you these things?"

From the middle of the crowd, two pairs of eyes watched with a greater degree of interest. They belonged to Kasumi and Nabiki, who'd gone to the market for groceries. Kasumi blinked. "Isn't that Ranma?" she asked. "Kissing that boy that you brought to dinner yesterday?"

"Yeah, that's Ryoga, all right."

"Isn't he the one that cut Akane's air on accident? You'd think Ranma would be angrier about that…"

"Oh, this definitely is not normal. If Ranma had been attracted to guys there would have been a steady parade coming into our house. Remember how our sister is. They'd be having threesomes every single night."

"I wonder what's going on, then."

Nabiki looked away. "I dunno, but this is far creepier than it is sexy. Can we go?"

Kasumi blushed, not taking her eyes off of the boys. "You go on ahead. I'll… catch up with you later."

Nabiki gave her sister a sideways glance. "You know… you're pretty shy about these things, but once in a great while, I can really see the resemblance between you and Akane…" She left.

* * *

><p>That night, Ryoga and Ranma sat in the tent, Ranma a girl and Ryoga certain that death would be better than having to endure Ranma's sickening looks. Ranma plucked a piece of food from the bowl she was holding. "Say ah!" she gushed. Ryoga grimaced and complied, as Ranma fed him. He grabbed his own bowl of food, turning from Ranma to sprinkle something over it: sleeping powder he'd managed to pick up earlier. He turned to Ranma, giving his best fake smile. "Open wide, angel!" he said, as Ranma enthusiastically complied. A minute later, she shook her head. "Oh, boy," she said. "I'm getting tired already. You want to come to bed with me, sweetheart?" Ryoga cringed. "Be right there!" he said cheerfully. Ranma lay down on his futon, and in the blink of an eye, was out like a light.<p>

Ryoga sighed. "You're a good cook and a good fighter," he said, "but I'm not about to marry a guy. If you're stuck on this, I don't have a choice." He paused. "Of course, killing you was what I always wanted to do, anyway. This sure makes it easy." He picked her up, slung her over his shoulder, and stepped out of the tent.

And found himself staring into the angry eyes of Akane.

"Put her down," she said, steadily but with a hint of anger evident in her voice. Ryoga was shaken, and complied, gently laying Ranma on his futon. He turned back to the girl.

_Slap!_

Ryoga grabbed the side of his face, where a red handprint quickly started to appear. Akane grabbed the front of his shirt. "A love potion?" she hissed. "You think I'm going to let you steal my fiancé away? You're going to have to go through me first!"

"A love potion? What makes you think his feelings aren't real? Maybe he turned gay overnight!"

"Fishing rod of love?"

Ryoga's eyes widened. "Uh… I…" He struggled for a good explanation. "It's not what you think! Honest!"

Akane put her hands on her hips. "Oh? Then what exactly were you doing with that thing?"

Failing a good excuse, he did the next best thing: tell the truth. "It was an accident! I wasn't aiming for him! I missed!"

"Then who _were_ you aiming for?"

Ryoga cringed. "You."

"Me? What, you have a thing for me and you think _this_ is how to go about telling me?"

"No, no, no! I don't like you like that! It was a plan to get back at Ranma! I was going to steal you away to make him miserable!"

Akane's jaw dropped, and she stood motionless for a moment as his words registered. _**Slap!**_ She hit his other cheek twice as hard as the first. _Thunk!_ She decked him, leaving him sprawled on the ground. She stood over him. "I should turn you into sausages," she grumbled. "You had _better_ have a way of fixing this. How long does the spell last?"

"I don't know! The instructions don't say!"

Akane thought for a moment. A smile crept over her face. "Okay," she said. "I think I know how to handle this. I'd love to have a three-way with two guys, but I couldn't without knowing that Ranma is okay with it, and I don't trust what he says right now. But the next best thing… You and I are going to look for a cure, but until we find it, you and Ranma are going to be lovers. And I mean _lovers_. And I'll be watching _everything_ you do together."

Ryoga blanched. "You mean… as guys?"

Akane nodded.

"No way! I can't do it! I could never be attracted to a guy!"

"You'd rather I turn you into a pig and lock you in a cage? I saw a cute little pet carrier at the mall; it would be _perfect_ for you."

"How am I supposed to have sex if I can't… y'know… stay in the mood?" Ryoga hoped that his explanation would get Akane completely off of the idea.

Akane paused. "You're right." She thought for a moment. "Fine. Ranma as a girl."

Ryoga rubbed his temples. "No, no. I'd still know he's a guy."

"Bullshit. I saw the tent in your pants earlier when I caught you two together." She smiled. "I think you'll manage just fine."

Ryoga blushed. "But… I've never even done… that… before!"

"It's just in and out. You'll figure it out quick enough. It isn't rocket science."

"No. No way."

Akane shrugged. "I guess I'll have to turn you to a pig and cage you. I wonder what my dad will do when he finds out you ruined his plan to join the schools. Ranma's dad, too. They can get pretty angry about those kinds of things. They just might turn you into cutlets."

Ryoga jumped. "Wait!" He gulped, and lowered his head. "Fine. I'll do it. But can we get it over quick and go hunting for a cure right away?"

Akane hummed. "Okay. But if we don't find anything by tomorrow night, you're spending the night with her again. And I don't mean sleeping."

Ryoga scowled, before his eyes widened. "Wait… can Ranma get pregnant as a girl?"

Akane shrugged. "Better wrap your whacker before you attack her, Romeo. Now pick her up. You two will be in Ranma's bedroom. I'm going to send his dad and mine off on a training trip and get a video camera off of Nabiki."

Ryoga sighed in defeat, picking up the unconscious Ranma and slinging her over his shoulders.

* * *

><p>Ranma awoke with a start, looking into the smiling face of Akane. "Hi, Ranma," she said cheerfully. Ranma looked around. "My old room in your house?" she asked. Akane nodded. "I saw that you and Ryoga were camping in a tent," she explained, "and figured you might like a couple nights under a roof. I know you don't like me anymore, but I thought we could still be friends."<p>

Ranma smiled. "Wow," she replied, "thanks, Akane." Akane bowed and walked out, as Ryoga passed her on his way in. He was so nervous he was trembling, looking at Ranma like a janitor looks at a dirty toilet— desperate to finish an unpleasant job. He made a point not to look for the camera that Akane had hidden; neither of them knew of the device behind the slightly-ajar door of the oshiire. Ryoga knelt in front of Ranma, as the redhead rushed to hug him.

Akane strolled down the hallway, following the cable that ran from under the door to Ranma's room, into her own bedroom. There, Nabiki had a television set up and a tape recording. She stood abruptly as Akane entered. "Okay," she said. "You're all set. I'm going somewhere else, because I _don't_ want to see this."

"You don't?"

Nabiki made a face. "No!"

Akane shrugged. "Well, it's okay. I was going to crack the door open and watch it live. How about Kasumi? Think she'd want a peek?"

"You'd be surprised, Akane. I'll tell her." She left.

Akane sat on her bed, reaching over to pick up the fishing rod that lay there. She turned it over in her hands. "I wonder if this works more than once," she mused. "And if it's curable, I wonder if Ranma would be okay with getting hooked on purpose so that he could stand to have another guy come in…" She set it aside, glancing at the monitor before rising and heading back out into the hallway.

Ryoga sat gently, avoiding eye contact with Ranma. The redhead, on the other hand, wasn't about to leave him alone. She pushed him roughly to the floor, looking down at him. "You want to finish what we started earlier, dear?" she said, lust starting to build in her eyes. Ryoga gulped. "Yeah," he croaked, unmoving. Ranma smiled with glee, yanking her shirt off as Ryoga's nose started to bleed from the sight. Ranma grabbed his hands and put them on her breasts, as Ryoga did his best to think of other things.

It didn't work.

As Ranma tugged at his shirt, he became more and more aware that his brain was the _only_ part of his body not enjoying it. There was nothing he could do— it was going to happen. He was really going to have sex with her. He gasped as he felt her slide his pants off, and watched with a mixture of arousal and disgust as Ranma seductively removed her shorts. In a flash, she was on him.

. . . . .

Ranma lay on Ryoga, panting, as Ryoga tried to catch his breath and regain his sanity. He'd just lost his virginity… to _Ranma_. All because he'd tried a trick and messed it up, and got blackmailed when someone else caught him. He squeezed his eyes shut, doing his best to block out the feel of her bare skin pressed against his. She squirmed, squeezing him tight.

Neither of them noticed the carp on her breast, which had slowly worked loose during their coitus, as it pulled away, fluttered to the floor, and faded to nothing.

* * *

><p>Ranma awoke on her futon. She yawned, stretching and scratching her balls. She fidgeted in confusion— why didn't she feel anything when she scratched? She scratched again; nothing. Opening her eyes a crack, she looked down to see her own breasts. 'Oh, that's why,' she thought. 'I don't have balls at the moment.' She closed her eyes again, only for them to snap open. If she was a girl, <em>what was she holding?<em> Her eyes traveled from the men's parts in her hands to the sleeping face of their owner, complete with fanged teeth and a yellow bandana.

Her brain slowed to a stop, then started flying at a million miles an hour. She jumped back, scooting away until she smacked back-first into the wall. As soon as she did, her stomach started to churn, and she jumped to her feet, sprinting for the window and projectile vomiting out into the garden below.

In the hallway, Akane sat asleep with her back against the wall, where she'd ended up after watching the two of them go at it the night before. Ranma's retching shook her from her slumber, and she jumped up, throwing the door open. Seeing Ranma at the window, she rushed to her. "Ranma," she whispered. "You okay?"

Ranma turned and looked at her groggily. "I slept with Ryoga, didn't I?"

Akane nodded. "Do you want to do it with him again?"

Ranma's expression turned to one of disgust. "No! Of course not! Why would I want to get with another guy?"

Akane hugged her gently. "You had this little love potion thing going on." She glanced down at Ranma's breast, where the carp was no longer visible. "Looks like it wore off. C'mon, let's go get you cleaned up. I'll fill you in later." Ranma nodded, moving to her dresser and grabbing a shirt and boxers out of the top drawer. They headed downstairs, leaving the sleeping Ryoga where he lay.

As they made their way to the furoba, they passed Nabiki. The middle Tendo smelled horrible, and was covered in something unidentifiable. She scowled. "Just an open memo to the other occupants of this house," she said. "If you want to vomit out a window, please check underneath it first." Ranma wobbled. "Uh, sorry," she mumbled. Nabiki rolled her eyes and headed for the bath. Akane took Ranma's arm. "While she's in there," she said, "let me explain what went on over the past couple days…"

A few minutes later, Akane sat in the washitsu, waiting for Ranma to return from his soak in the bath. Kasumi entered, setting the first parts of breakfast on the table. Akane smiled. "You enjoy the video?" she asked. Kasumi blushed. "Yes," she replied, "but please don't tell anyone, okay?"

Akane nodded. "You want a copy of the tape?" she asked. Kasumi's blush deepened, and she nodded sheepishly, turning and making a quick exit. Ranma, now male, walked in a moment later. Akane leaned against him. "You going to be okay?" she asked. Ranma looked straight ahead. "I really don't know," he replied. "I can remember every bit of it, and it's…" He made a face. Akane gave his back an affectionate rub. "I thought about trying to get a three-way with both of you," she said, "but I didn't think you were really sane enough to give me permission to do stuff with another guy. Besides, the way you were acting around Ryoga, you might have said no."

Ranma hung his head. "I was acting pretty crazy, wasn't I?"

"Don't feel bad. You can't help what a potion does to you. Blame Ryoga for doing it."

"Oh, I do. I swear to the Kami that I'll tear him limb from limb when I see him."

They heard footsteps, and turned to see Ryoga slink in. He stopped dead in his tracks when he caught sight of Ranma and Akane together. Ranma jumped to his feet. "_You!_" he screamed. "_I'm gonna kill you, you freakin' hentai!_" Ryoga turned and ran for his life, with Ranma hot on his tail.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry for the delay in this one. Next I'll be getting the next chapter to _Chill Pill_ ready. Also, I see that FFNet has rolled out a feature to attach cover art to a story. I'd like to get some artwork up for my three active stories; I'm not much of a drawer, especially not anime-style, so I was planning to make some computer-rendered drawings with POV-Ray and hamaPatch. If you've never heard of them, don't even worry about it; what's important is making a decent piece of art will be a bit time-consuming, so that cover art might be slow in coming._


	5. Mmm Spandex

_A/N: Many readers didn't care for some of the events that occurred in the last chapter. I have to thank all of you for the calm expressions of displeasure; I've had less-controversial things start troll-fests in the reviews section, and I'm very grateful that it didn't happen here._

_So, I wasn't completely sure what I should make of how that chapter ended. (Probably should have figured that out first, huh?) Many reviewers noted that Ranma would be angry, and I took that as a given. Still… what was to happen between Ranma and Ryoga? Then, I had an idea. Possibly one of the greatest ideas I've had since I started writing fanfiction. I think I totally rescued this one; I'll let you, the readers, decide._

_A word of warning— this chapter is long. I write in OpenOffice, with 8.5" x 11" pages and ½" margins, in 12-point Times New Roman. A typical chapter in this format is 9-12 pages; this one is 23. Ergo, it's about twice as long as any chapter to this story, or any others that I've published._

_Lastly, this chapter isn't entirely about Ranma and Ryoga. As you may recall, I'm including some of the manga/anime story arcs in this story. It's about time for a crazy fiancée to appear, isn't it?_

* * *

><p>"Golly, mister! Thank you so much!"<p>

Ranma, a girl, bounced away, holding the free food she'd just received. Her girl side sure came in handy sometimes. Including when she was having sex with a guy. She stopped dead in her tracks as the thought crossed her mind, and shook her head violently to clear it. She did _not_ want to remember that. She swore that, if Ryoga ever showed up again, she'd castrate him.

She frowned and started walking. There was another part to her displeasure— Akane. She wasn't sure how she should react. She was angry, for sure. Akane knew that she would never want to do anything with another guy. Akane knew that she wasn't in her right mind. Why didn't she stop her? The answer was pretty clear— Akane was a self-described hentai. She let Ranma do those things because she got to watch. She'd said that already. What she hadn't said, but Ranma was certain of, was that she'd forced Ryoga to go along with it. He'd been running away up until that night— there was no way that he changed his mind that fast.

They hadn't had a chance to talk about it, but one thing was for certain: Akane had a lot of questions to answer, and a _lot_ of apologizing to do.

She was distracted by the sounds of a fight. Hopping atop a wall, she looked down on a group that was engaged in a battle. Or, more specifically, a rather pathetic ass-kicking: a girl in a school uniform stood, and, with seemingly little effort, was mopping the floor with three men that were trying to surround her. As the last was knocked down, the girl stood over him. She pulled out a ribbon and started striking him with it, over and over. "Maybe _this_ will convey my message!" she shouted, snapping the man on the back. "Or _this!_ Or _this!_"

Ranma jumped down, and, with a quick toss of her arm, grabbed the ribbon out of midair. "Don't you think that's enough?" she asked. "I mean, you already won, right?"

The girl stared in disbelief. "You caught my ribbon as if it were nothing! If you'll forgive me… you don't seem to be any ordinary girl!"

Ranma shuffled her feet. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

The girl kicked a club from the ground into her hand. "Good!" she cried. "I prefer not to treat girls with ordinary courtesy!" She swung the club at Ranma's head, but Ranma was quicker, and the girl was already kicked off of her feet. She flipped and managed to land gracefully. "You're very good!" she said, slightly winded. "I am known as the black rose of St. Hebereke High School. Don't forget it!" She leaped atop a nearby wall and sprang away, a cackling laugh trailing back as she went.

Ranma turned to the sobbing men. "Hey," she said. "What's with the crying? You're men, aren't you!" One of them tore away the bandages, revealing a very familiar-looking girl. "No!" she cried. "We're the Furinkan High gymnastics team!" Ranma blinked as she recognized the girl. The others unwrapped their faces; they were all from her class.

Shortly thereafter, the trio, plus Ranma and Akane, sat in Akane's room. "We were ambushed!" a girl sobbed. "We'll have to withdraw from the match!" A second girl looked hopefully to Akane. "You'll have to take our place," she said. "You're the only girl fighter at Furinkan that's strong enough! Please, Akane!"

Akane blinked. "What's the event? Just a battle?"

"Martial arts gymnastics. It's rhythm gymnastics combined with martial arts."

Akane furrowed her brow. "I'm sure I can get it," she said. "You guys can count on me!"

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Ranma, now back to his male self, sat on the floor of the dojo, watching as Akane attempted to learn martial arts gymnastics. 'Attempted' was the correct term— she wasn't close to getting the hang of it. She could manage gymnastics easily, but trying to catch and throw the gymnastics tools seemed completely out of her grasp. Ranma, both interested and still peeved about the whole Ryoga deal, simply watched in silence.<p>

Akane flipped through a hoop. Halfway through, she got stuck inside the hoop, snapping it into pieces. She landed, with the pieces of the hoop landing around her. She looked at Ranma, her eyes starting to turn sad. "I'm not even coming close, am I?" she said. "How am I supposed to figure this out in a couple weeks?"

They jumped at the sound of someone clearing their throat. They turned to see Ryoga at the door, peeking in as though he were scared for his life. "I can instruct you, Akane," he said meekly. "I know how to use those tools."

Ranma jumped to his feet. "Ryoga, you hentai!" he screamed, reddening in anger. "_I'll tear your dick off!_" He jumped for Ryoga, as Akane grabbed him around the waist. "Ranma!" she said. "Wait! I need his help! Please!"

Ranma looked down at her. "Yeah, you need him around so you can get him to drug me again! So you can hook us up! You're a bigger hentai than he is!"

Deeply hurt, Akane released her grip, crumpling to the floor as Ranma raced for Ryoga. The latter took off at a run, afraid for his life, with Ranma right on his heels. Akane sat up, letting out a shaky breath. "He's pissed," she said. "He's really pissed. I'm going to have a lot of talking to do before I have any hope of getting his dick up again. If he'll even stay with me at all."

Outside, Ryoga dove into the pond, leaping out in pig form and running. Ranma was nearly on top of him. "Oh, no you don't!" he yelled. "You ain't getting away that easy! Run any tight little place you want; I'll get you!" Ryoga raced into the house with Ranma right behind. As they flew through the washitsu, Ranma noticed tea on the table, as well as a steaming kettle. He grabbed it without stopping. "I'm gonna turn you back!" he yelled. "Then I'm gonna rip your arms and legs off!" Ryoga raced into the kitchen and out the door, as Ranma followed.

Akane trudged up the stairs. "No teaching tonight," she muttered. "I sure hope I can calm Ranma down by tomorrow night. I really need the help." She made it into her room and closed the door behind her. Untying the top to her gi, she tossed it aside, along with her pants, undershirt, bra, and panties. Naked, she flopped onto her bed, her eyes closed. "Just doesn't feel right," she said, "naked on my bed without a naked man next to me." She opened here eyes and looked up…

… directly into the crazed eyes of Kodachi.

The other girl jumped down from her perch on the ceiling, swinging a hammer at Akane, who leaped off of the bed and jumped into a ready stance. "Who are you?" she spat.

"Kodachi, the black rose, from St. Hebereke school. I shall be your opponent next week." She swung at Akane, who stepped aside with ease. She swung again, and Akane put a hand up, stopping the hammer in midair. Kodachi stared in shock.

"Hang on," Akane said, then stepped closer. "I don't know how you're used to dealing with opponents, but I like to leave the competition in the ring. How about outside the ring, we be friends?"

Kodachi scoffed. "I have plenty of friends. I don't need the likes of you."

Akane effortlessly took the hammer from Kodachi's hands tossing it aside. "Let me be a little more direct." She took another step, putting her face an inch from Kodachi's. "Just because we have to compete against eachother doesn't mean we can't play together outside of the match. I'd love a little… company…" She slid a hand around to cup it on Kodachi's butt, sliding her fingers under the girl's leotard. With her other hand, she sensually stroked the girl's hair.

Kodachi jumped. "You hentai!" she cried. "You get me out of your perverted mind!" She backed up toward the window, as Akane grabbed hold and slid her hands around the girl's waist.

"Aw, come on. We can unwind after the match. How about a little bet?" Kodachi struggled, and Akane tightened her grip, pulling the girl closer. "We'll do a little BDSM after the match. Winner is the dom. What do you say?"

Kodachi made a hard jerk, tearing herself free. "Take your hands off of me, you freak!" she shouted, spinning around and darting out the window. Akane watched her go. "A little bit on the skinny side," she said, "but I'm still going to try." She spun around and flopped onto her bed. "She's just amped up over the match. She'll be a lot more receptive after I beat her."

Kodachi leaped onto the roof and took off running. "How am I supposed to handle this one?" she said to herself. "It's one thing when an opponent is strong… that girl's going to try to grab me the entire match! Disgusting!"

She was startled as a small, dark object darted past. "A pig?" she said, watching Ryoga go. She looked up just in time to see Ranma, as the tea kettle in his hand bounced off of her face, sending her flying off the side of the roof.

Ranma felt the bump and spun around. Seeing her falling, he stopped and jumped for her, plucking her from midair and landing back on the roof, setting her down softly. It was only then that he realized who she was. 'Oh, great,' he thought. 'It's that black flower girl.'

She looked up at him, her disgust at Akane quickly forgotten as she enjoyed his appearance. She snaked her arms around him. "I was so scared," she whispered. Ranma reached back in an attempt to pry her loose, but had no luck. She gazed into his eyes. "Please, sir," she said, "may I ask your name."

"Uh… Ranma. Saotome."

She released him and thrust a bouquet of black roses into his hands. "For you, Ranma." He'd no sooner taken them than a cloud of gas blew from them, hitting him directly in the face. He dropped to his knees, then fell onto his back. She straddled him. "I put a bit of paralysis powder into the flowers," she said. "Now…" She leaned close. "Take these lips."

"Hey!"

Kodachi sat bolt upright, noticing Akane standing a few feet away. Akane had donned a pair of her jogging shorts and an undershirt; both were too thin to be worn with nothing underneath, which was exactly how she was wearing them. She smirked. "Ranma and I have a rule. If he wants to have another girl, it has to be in a three-way. But, now that I'm here…" She knelt and straddled Ranma, sticking her rear in his face as she faced Kodachi. "How about that kiss?"

Kodachi jumped up. "I shall take Ranma for myself!" she cried. "We shall meet again, Ranma Saotome!" She sprang from the roof, her cackling laugh broadcasting across half the neighborhood. Akane turned around and laid against Ranma. "I'm still hoping to break her," she said. "I bet you'll love your first three-way, huh?"

Ranma didn't answer, and she immediately noticed that he hadn't moved at all. She tickled his belly, noticing his lack of response. "She paralyzed you, didn't she?" she asked. "The other girls said she had tricks. Oh, well, let's get you off of this roof. It'll probably wear off soon enough."

She picked him up and slung him over her shoulder. She looked around. "How am I going to get you down?" she wondered aloud. "I hopped up from my window, but there's no way I could get back in that way carrying you." She walked up to the peak of the roof, looking around for a tree branch she could possibly reach. She didn't see any, but something else caught her eye. "That'll work!" she said, rushing to the opposite edge. From his vantage point, Ranma was able to see the ground, and what Akane was looking at: the koi pond. He groaned inwardly.

Akane took a stance. "I'm going to count to three and jump," she said. "Hold your breath when I get to three." She stepped back. "One… two… three!" Ranma took a breath and held it, as Akane took a step and leaped.

In the washitsu, Nabiki and Kasumi sat watching television. "Do you think they're going to cancel this show?" Nabiki asked nonchalantly. Kasumi shrugged. They both jumped at the loud splash that followed, looking out to see a wave of water erupt from the koi pond and spread across the grass. After a pause, Ranma, now female, was tossed out and landed roughly on the ground. A moment later, Akane climbed out, rushing to Ranma and rolling her on her stomach. "Did you swallow any water?" she asked. Ranma stirred. "Uh… uh…" she mumbled. Akane grabbed her under the arms and started dragging her toward the house. She hefted the girl up and sat her on the engawa, standing so that Ranma could lean against her.

At that moment, Akane noticed her surprised sisters at the table. "My gymnastics opponent showed up to ambush me," she explained. "She did something to Ranma to paralyze him. I'm just waiting for it to wear off." Kasumi nodded and turned back to the TV. Nabiki shielded her eyes.

"Uh, Akane?"

"Hm?"

"Next time you decide to jump in the pond, you mind wearing a bra? You're giving us the MTV spring break treatment over here."

Akane looked down at herself and rolled her eyes. "First of all, no way, a bra would be the most uncomfortable thing in the world right now. Second, they're breasts. You're a girl; you have a pair of your own. Heck, you've seen mine before. We've gone to the public baths lots of times."

"Always a colorful experience," Kasumi chimed.

Nabiki kept her hand in front of her eyes. "It's a little different when you look like something out of an adult magazine. Saying they're just boobs is like saying, 'don't mind that I'm wearing lingerie around the house; you've seen me in a bikini.'"

"If it's the see-through shirt that's bothering you, don't look down. These shorts aren't any more modest and I'm not wearing panties."

Nabiki cringed. Akane knelt by Ranma, grabbed her under the arms, and gently lifted the girl onto her shoulder. She turned and gave Ranma a pat on the butt. "C'mon Ranma, let's hit the furo." She headed off down the hall.

Entering the furoba, she gently set Ranma down on the floor. "Let's get those troublesome clothes off of you," she said. She unbuttoned Ranma's shirt and managed to pull it off, which ended up being a chore without Ranma able to help. She looked down and chuckled. "This is why I like your father knocking you in the koi pond every morning," she said playfully. "Your boobs always look wonderful through a wet undershirt."

She pulled Ranma's undershirt off as well, then set about removing her pants, which was also a decent amount of work. She was used to helping Ranma undress when they were about to have sex; in those cases, her fiancé had an obvious reason to help speed up the process. Now, she wasn't moving at all, and with everything wet and clinging, it was frustrating. With a sigh of relief, she managed to get the girl's pants past both feet, and quickly yanked off her boxers. She immediately stripped herself down; thanks to years of practice, she was out of her clothes in a matter of seconds.

She started the furo filling, then reached for the shower. Turning the water on warm, she started washing Ranma down, turning her back to a guy in the process. She tried her best to make sure that he was clean; the koi pond wasn't exactly sanitary. Once she was satisfied, she gave herself her own quick wash. She then sat on the side of the furo, turned the water off, and lifted Ranma over the side, gently easing him in. She sat and pulled him between her legs, wrapping her arms around him. "Talk to me when you can," she said. "If it doesn't start wearing off soon, I'll call Doctor Tofu and ask him what to do."

A few minutes later, Ranma found that his fingers were starting to come back to life. He cleared his throat, and Akane looked at him. "Try to talk, sweetie," she said. He slipped forward. "That… damn… girl… in… the… leo… tard," he croaked. Akane held onto him. "Don't worry," she said. "I'll beat her at the match and she'll leave us alone." She started kissing his neck gently. "Just relax," she said. "Let it wear off." However, she noticed something right away— with what little movement he could manage, he seemed to be trying to pull away from her kisses. She sighed.

"You're mad at me about what happened with Ryoga, aren't you?"

Ranma took a breath. "You knew… I didn't… like guys. Why didn't… you… stop me?"

"Stop you from having sex?"

"Yes."

Akane shrugged. "Well, I wanted to watch, of course. But you seemed to want it. In fact, you almost seemed to be enjoying it more than you do with me. I mean, you were _really_ on him! Why would I stop you when you were having so much fun?"

"I was… under… a spell."

"Yeah, I know, but… Well, what difference does it make _why_ you were attracted to him. All that mattered was you were."

Ranma didn't say anything for a moment. He took a breath. "Why did Ryoga… stop fighting me? Why did he… give in?"

Akane hung her head. She knew he'd figure it out… and be angry. "I made him stop. I told him, until he figured out how to get rid of the spell, he needed to sleep with you as much as you wanted, or I'd tell our fathers that he was ruining their plan to reunite the schools."

Ranma reddened. Akane rubbed his shoulders. "Ranma?" she said quietly. He stared straight ahead, his jaw rigid. Her heart started to pound— he'd never once shown anger toward her since the day he'd arrived. A tear ran down her cheek. "Ranma?" she said, he voice louder and shakier. The worry in her voice startled Ranma enough that he turned to look at her, shocked as tears started to stream down her face. She squeezed him tight. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think it would bother you so much. I would've locked you in a room so you couldn't get near Ryoga if I knew it would upset you like this." She took a shaky breath. "I'm so, so sorry."

Ranma wasn't sure how to react. He wanted to be mad, but it was pretty hard to when she was almost bawling. "I…" he stammered. "I, uh…"

She squeezed him tighter, nearly hurting him. "Please don't leave me," she whispered. "I've had a lot of guys come around me, but you're the only one who cared for me as a person. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. Please don't go. Please"

Ranma shook his head. "Kami, Akane… I'm not going to… leave you. I'm just… mad, is all."

She loosened her grip. "I never would have pushed you to do that if you didn't want to. You really seemed to want it at the time. I didn't think it would bother you after the spell wore off."

He rolled his eyes. "Of _course_ it does!"

"Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'?" He took a breath, finding his ability to speak returning. "Because I'm a guy, and… I don't like other guys!"

"You did when you two got together."

"Yeah, but… I don't normally. It's disgusting. I don't even want to think about it."

Akane turned to look at him. "Can I say something that's probably going to make you mad again?"

"What?"

"You need to open your mind."

Ranma looked at her like she was a lunatic. "Excuse me?"

"You're mad because you has sex with with a guy, and you don't _normally _like guys. But, obviously, you wouldn't have done it if you didn't like him at the time. So, when you were having sex with him, you _did _like guys. At least him." She sighed. "You're mad because you went against your norm. That's all. You have this predefined idea, that you only like girls, and you won't go against it. No matter what your feelings are. Don't you see that you're not being honest with yourself?"

"What do you mean? I don't like guys. Right now, I don't like guys. Simple as that."

"Well, okay, and if some guy tried to kiss you right now, I'd expect you to push him away. Or worse. But I don't understand why you're mad that you had sex with someone you _wanted_ to have sex with. Why are you mad after the fact? Even if you don't like him anymore, doesn't mean you have to be mad that you _used_ to."

"I'm mad because he's a guy! And I was tricked!"

Akane nodded. "Alright, fine. I get the last part. Nobody wants to be tricked like that. I sure wouldn't want to lose control of myself. You absolutely should be mad at him for that, and you should be mad at me for taking advantage of it. I understand that. But what about the first part? Why are you mad that he's a guy?"

"I just am, okay?"

"I don't understand that. I want you to explain it to me."

Ranma rolled his eyes. "You sleep with anything that pushes back!" he spat. "You'd never understand what it's like to have standards!" He immediately snapped his jaw shut, turning to see the hurt in Akane's eyes. She looked down. "I deserve that," she replied. "And you're right. I probably can't understand it. I've spent all of my time since puberty being attracted to almost everybody. I'm way more open about it than any normal person. I know that."

Ranma turned away. "Akane, I…"

"Don't apologize."

He sighed. "Look, it's just that… Guys who like other guys… there's a stereotype. Guys who like other guys are supposed to be all effeminate and stuff. That's what people say. It just kind of makes me feel like I'm like that. Like what people say."

"You feel like less of a man."

"I guess. And I guess you really _wouldn't_ understand. Girls say bad things about girls that like other girls. I know there are girls around here that don't like you because you're… you _were_… so, ah… open."

"Easy."

"You said it, not me. But, if you went around listening to what everybody else thought, you wouldn't be… you. I guess it's a good thing you don't listen to everybody else."

"You shouldn't either, Ranma. All the guys in our school want to be you. You're a million times better than the best martial artists we have. All the girls want to be _me_ because I'm sleeping with you."

"None of them would think that way if they knew what went on between me and Ryoga."

She cracked a smile. "Are you kidding? The girls would faint from nosebleeds if they heard about that. The guys would probably all start making out with eachother. If Ranma Saotome does it, it has to be cool."

"If you say so." He was actually starting to feel a bit better.

She lay her head against his. "That still doesn't change Ryoga putting that spell on you. Or me taking advantage of it. Can you ever forgive me? Is there anything I can do to make up for it?"

"Yes! There _is_ something you can do. I know how you like to go after other girls. Stay away from that Kodachi girl. She's trouble."

"Done. I don't think you have to worry, though. She _really_ didn't seem interested. If anything, you'd think the fact that she wants you would make her more willing to have a three-way, but I guess not. But you're right. If we _did_ have a three-way, she'd probably drug us both and kidnap you. I won't try anything else."

"Thank you."

"So, what about Ryoga? Can you ever forgive him? In fairness to him, if he were a hentai, he could have done it with you a million times. He was trying to keep away. I think he couldn't get past the fact that you're really a guy."

"Well… honestly, I'm more mad about what he tried to do in the first place. Steal you away. Just to get back at me."

"Aw, don't be too mad at him. _I_ should be mad about that, since I would've been the victim, but it's no big deal anymore. Besides, the worst that could've happened was he tricked me into cheating on you. It wouldn't have worked in the long run, because it would've worn off eventually, and I'd have come right back to you."

"Yeah, I guess." He chuckled. "Leave it to Ryoga to come up with a plan that bad."

Akane brightened. "You're sounding happy again. That's the best thing I've heard in a week."

"Yeah, well…"

"Can I ask something that might make you mad for the third time?"

Ranma sighed. "What is it?"

"Any lingering feelings for Ryoga?"

Ranma turned to look at her in disbelief. "You're really asking me this?"

"I thought you were calm enough."

"No, Akane. I don't like guys. I don't even want to remember what happened before."

"Too bad. You were really into it at the time. _Really _into it. I thought you might pull an ass muscle or something."

Ranma reddened. "Yeah, well… it's gross, is all."

Akane leaned forward to look into his eyes. "Are you getting back into that stuff about norms? Have you actually thought about it and been grossed out, or are you afraid of even remembering it?"

His blush deepened. "The second one."

Akane sat back, a smile tugging at her face. "I know a way to break this norms stuff, once and for all."

"Oh?"

"I'll make a bet with you. If it turns out that you still like Ryoga, will you admit it? You don't have to do anything with him, just admit your feelings."

Ranma paused, then nodded. "All right, fine. But how exactly are you supposed to know if I still like him or not?"

"Oh, I have a little experiment. Close your eyes."

He did so.

She started running her hands along his thighs. "Okay, I'm going to describe some things to you. I want you to picture them as clearly as you possibly can. Try really hard to remember every little detail."

"Fine."

"Okay. Do you remember the first night you came here? You were really mad about the arranged marriage thing, and then your dad threw you in the pond. We went out and talked, right by the door of the dojo. Remember? Can you picture what I looked like after I turned the hose on myself? Picture it as vividly as you possibly can."

Ranma didn't say anything. She slid a hand over and found a part of him that proved that she was putting him in the right mood. She started stroking it softly.

"And then, we came into the furoba here. We made out for a while, and then I changed you back into a guy. Remember running up to my room and getting on my bed?" She leaned closer and whispered. "Remember getting on top of me? What your first time felt like? I remember you running your fingers through my hair and kissing my neck, real shy. Do you remember what it felt like to have me under you?"

She gave him a gentle kiss on the neck. He shuddered.

"Remember a couple of days later? Our first weekend? You and your dad worked out in the morning, and he knocked you in the koi pond? And you didn't change back, just went to your room to change. And I snuck up and came in after you? Think of when you were lying on your back on the futon, and I was on you. Can you feel what I was doing to you? What my touch felt like?"

She gave him another slow kiss on the neck. He groaned. "Yeah, yeah, I remember it. Like I'd ever forget _that_."

"Now, picture laying on your back on your futon, just like that time. But, it's Ryoga that's on you. You had your hands on his back." She paid attention to what she was touching; he didn't seem to be losing any of his mood. "You were digging your fingernails into him. Kissing him on the neck. And he was right against your opening. I've been there, I know how bad you must have been wanting him inside, huh?" He was still as aroused as ever. A little more talking and she'd stop and point out to him that he was still in the mood. There was her proof. "Then you two were into it. You kept throwing your head back with your teeth clenched really tight, like you could hardly even stand the pleasure of what he felt like inside…"

"Aaaahhhhhh!" Ranma suddenly tensed, then went limp. Looking over his shoulder and into the water, she could immediately see what had happened. She was surprised; she'd been stroking him a little, but she wasn't actually trying to cause… that. She put her arms around him. He lay still for a moment, then sighed. "All right," he said quietly. "I like remembering it. Okay? I guess I really did enjoy it." He clasped his head with both hands. "Aw, Kami… what does this mean? How can I be having feelings like this?"

She put her hand on his cheek and turned his head, kissing him gently. "It means just what you said. You liked it at the time, so you like picturing it. That's all."

He looked at her seriously. His voice was a whisper. "Do you think I'm going to have feelings for Ryoga now?"

Akane shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe, maybe not. You could want him really bad; you may never feel anything for him again."

"What was it like the first time you… liked a girl?"

"Well, I liked girls as long as I liked guys. You know, the sex ed teachers always talk about how you notice the other sex. You're supposed to notice that you like looking at certain parts— their butts, guys like looking at girls' boobs, you know. I liked looking at girls _and_ guys. When I realized just why I liked looking, I knew right away that I was feeling the same things for girls and guys."

"What if I'm bi? Like you?"

"Would it matter?"

He looked away, then looked back. "I… guess not. What do you think I should do?"

"Just don't lie to yourself. Pay attention when you're around Ryoga. If you find yourself having feelings, don't block them. Admit it to yourself. And if you don't, fine. It was a one time thing. Just don't worry about it. It doesn't really change anything."

He sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

She gave him a kiss. "So, are you able to move again?"

He leaned forward, then stood. He took a step in the furo and turned around. "Seems okay."

She stared at eye level. "Kami, what a view…"

He blushed. "Guess I can go to bed now, huh?" He stepped out, and Akane stood. She stepped out and wrapped her arms around him. "I'd love to have you spend the night with me," she said. "Even if you can't… you know… because of what just happened." He smiled shyly. "Sounds nice," he answered.

She looked back at the furo. "Guess I need to clean this, huh?" she asked. She turned back. "I need to find Ryoga, too," she continued. "I should apologize to him for taking advantage of him. He can't be too mad or he wouldn't have offered to train me. You're okay with me talking to him, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Not mad anymore?"

He sighed. "Nah. I guess I just needed to sort my head out is all."

She nodded. "All right. Let me wipe the furo down. Do me a favor and put a kettle on the stove to change Ryoga back. Then, just head upstairs and get comfy on my bed. I'll be up in a little while." Ranma nodded.

* * *

><p>Akane, re-dressed in much more modest jeans and a sweatshirt, tiptoed around the yard. "Ryoga?" she called out, as quietly as possible. She didn't want to wake the neighbors, after all. She looked around some bushes. "Ryoga? You out here?" She heard a squeak, and Ryoga, still a pig, crawled out from under the dojo. She held up the kettle. "Head in the dojo and I'll change you back," she said. "Don't worry. Ranma's not angry any more."<p>

Ryoga looked hesitant, but he jumped up and went inside. She knelt by him and poured the hot water. Instantly, the little black pig sprang to become a full-size Ryoga. He jumped back and covered himself. Akane chuckled. "Ryoga," she said. "You don't need to cover yourself. I watched you and Ranma before. Remember?"

Ryoga gulped. "I know, but…"

"If you'd be more comfortable dressed, go ahead. I want to talk to you."

Ryoga nodded and hurriedly pulled on a pair of pants, sitting in front of her. She sighed. "Ryoga," she began, "I want to apologize. Ranma was upset because I didn't stop him from doing what he did, and even more so because I made you stop fighting his advances. I did even worse to you. When it happened, he wanted it, even if he was under a spell. You didn't. I pushed you to do something against your will. That was wrong, and I'm sorry."

Ryoga nodded slowly. "Oh, ah, it's okay," he replied. "I kinda figured it was payback for trying to get you with the fishing rod. And the whole hair slicing thing. I've done plenty of things to deserve it." He laughed nervously.

"Let's call it even, then. Ranma's okay, too. I told him I was being the hentai, not you, and that I'd do anything to make up for using him. He's calmed down. If there's any lingering anger, I think he'll get over it. I think he feels a little more awkward than anything else. He doesn't know what things will be like when you're around eachother."

"That worries me, too."

"Well, you were enemies, right? Maybe it's time to put the past behind you. If he can get over you hitting him with a love potion, do you think you can get over whatever role he had in you getting cursed? I know that's a huge deal, getting cursed and all…"

He sighed. "Yeah. I guess after humiliating him like I did, I owe it to him not to keep seeking revenge."

"That's good. So… where were you planning on staying tonight? Do you have a place?"

He scratched his head. "I thought I'd find my way to a park or something. Pitch the tent that I have."

Akane brightened. "Why don't you stay out here in the dojo? There are futons in the closet over there, in case we ever had to turn the dojo into a makeshift guest house. There's a heater, too, in case it gets cold."

"Nobody would mind?"

"I don't see why they would. After all, you're my trainer for this gymnastics thing, right? I need you nearby."

It was Ryoga's turn to brighten. "Of course. Those tools are just like my weapons. I'll have you ready to compete in no time."

"Great! So I'll come out in the morning when breakfast is ready. It's the weekend, so we'll get right to training."

"Gee, thanks, Akane. I don't get a lot of chances to have a decent place to sleep. Or decent meals. My parents get lost like I do. When they find their way home, they leave a little money. Food, too, but it's usually bad by the time I find it. With the money and a little extra I can make doing odd jobs, I just kind of live off of ramen cups."

She nodded. "Consider it payment for training me. And, considering what happened between you and Ranma, I'd rather not see you just wander away and disappear."

He nodded shyly.

Akane blushed a bit. "So… you and Ranma. Did you… like it?"

Ryoga blushed even more than Akane. "Yeah. I know he's really a guy, but… well, I haven't been close to a woman. Ever. So, once I felt her… his… her… skin, and… girl parts, I couldn't think about anything else. His girl side really is beautiful."

"Felt nice?"

"Felt nice."

She nodded and stood. "I just hope I haven't made things really awkward between you two. Though I guess it's better than being enemies, right?" They both chuckled. She turned toward the door. "Okay, Ryoga. Good night. I'll see you in the morning. The light switch is right by the door here." She headed to the house. Ryoga wandered over to the closet, dragging out a futon and tossing it on the floor. He turned out the lights, closed the door, and lay down.

Closing his eyes, he could only picture one thing: Ranma's girl curves. His mouth started to water.

* * *

><p>"Ah! Stupid old man!"<p>

Ranma plummeted into the koi pond, courtesy of his father. Genma laughed. "You're still sloppy boy," he said, just as a wave of water landed on him. Ranma bounced the bucket off of his head. "At least I pay attention," the now-female Ranma retorted.

With an irritated grumble, she removed her gi top and started wringing the water out of it. We did he insist on battling in the garden every morning? They had a dojo! A nice one! With no smelly fish ponds! She wrung her top tight and shook it out, walking into the house as she did. She really didn't like having to start every morning with a shower to change back (and get the fish smell off). She preferred to relax in the furo at night. Making her way into the washitsu, she looked up from her top.

And directly into the eyes of Ryoga.

Their eyes widened as they spotted eachother, before Ryoga's eyes settled lower, onto a couple thing that a wet undershirt wasn't going to hide. Akane peeked out from behind Ryoga, having just brought him in from the dojo. Ranma blushed furiously, and she instantly felt more confused than she ever had before. She'd admitted that she enjoyed what happened with Ryoga, _at the time_. She even figured out that she liked to remember it. But that didn't explain what she felt at that exact moment. She was a guy, right? She didn't like other guys!

Then _why_ was she enjoying the way he was looking at her?

A part of her wanted to run away. There was some part of her brain that told her that it was the right thing to do. Yet, an even bigger part of her wanted to let him stare. She wanted to show herself off. It didn't make a bit of sense. Of course, none of what happened really made sense. Then, Akane's words from the night before popped into her head— 'don't lie to yourself'. It didn't mean she liked him, after all— she could just like being an exhibitionist. That wasn't really abnormal for a guy with a girl's body, was it? Well… nothing was normal about someone who could change gender by touching water. Still, no reason to run away from things, right? She grabbed the sides of her pants and pulled them back, so that they were tight over her hips. Ryoga blushed a bit; Ranma chuckled.

Her chuckled snapped him from his trance. He looked at the floor. "H— hey, Ranma," he said.

She suddenly found herself a lot shyer than before. She looked away. "Morning, Ryoga. You're going to be training Akane, right?"

"Uh… yeah."

"That's cool. I'll be out there, too. In case you two need any help."

"Sure. Thanks."

Ranma looked up, and their eyes met again. A shy smile started to creep onto her face, and she turned away in an attempt to hide it. "Be back in a minute," she said quickly, rushing off toward the furoba. From where she stood, Akane grinned. After-sex shyness could be so cute.

A minute later, Ranma lay in the bath, back to being male. He smacked himself in the head. "You're… not… a… gigg… ly… school… girl!" he grunted. He lay his head back, remembering Akane's words. He had to admit it— there was something there that he enjoyed. He had no idea what it was, but it was there. Maybe he'd only act like that when he was a girl. He brightened as another thought crossed his mind— maybe he was acting like that because they'd had sex. Maybe if he spent some time around Ryoga, all of those feelings would go away.

He hopped out of the furo and started drying himself. That was it. Lingering embarrassment. No big deal. Problem solved. He headed out to get dressed.

Ranma strolled into the washitsu, settling in next to Akane. He looked over at Ryoga, only to feel the same feelings starting to come back. He looked away. Ryoga, meanwhile, was stunned. He'd been lusting after Ranma's girl side. Most men did, after all, and he was the only one who'd played with it. He'd even been thinking of ways to try and convince Ranma that it would be okay if they played around… when Ranma was a girl. Some kind of friend-as-a-boy-lover-as-a-girl type of thing. He'd just assumed that he wouldn't feel anything around Ranma when he was a boy.

He'd obviously assumed wrong.

Ranma was dressed in his usual at-home attire: black pants and an undershirt. Never before in his life had Ryoga found a man attractive, and it wasn't like Ranma was exuding the slightest bit of femininity. Yet, he couldn't fight the thoughts that were starting to enter his head: mental pictures of he and Ranma, as a boy, touching… grabbing… he shook his head. He knew exactly why he was feeling that way. It was Ranma's eyes. They were exactly the same when he was a boy or a girl. He'd never even noticed that before. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks— he wasn't attracted to Ranma's girl side; he was attracted to Ranma. The person. No matter what form he took.

Akane looked back and forth between the two boys. They were definitely tense. Sex did that to people. Only time was going to tell if they got along all right later on.

* * *

><p>Monday morning found Ranma and Akane walking up the front walk to Furinkan. They'd spent the weekend training with Ryoga, and Akane was at least getting a feel for the tools. Ryoga was waiting at home, though Kasumi had promised to take him to the market with her, so that he wasn't stuck staring at a wall for eight hours.<p>

As they neared the building, the girls from the gymnastics club mobbed her, and she gave them her assurances that she could win when the time came. She wasn't completely confident of that fact, but she knew that it was most important to be reassuring. Besides, she _did_ have confidence that anything left to practice would be in the bag before the competition.

Suddenly, she sensed danger, and dove out of the way just in time to miss a strike from Kodachi Kuno, who leaped in and swiped with a bokken. Akane grabbed hold of the weapon and stopped it. She rolled her eyes. "If you're going to surprise me in the morning with a bokken," she drawled, "I'd much prefer to find you naked in my bed with that bokken somewhere else."

Kodachi paled, then recovered. "I'm not here to visit with you," she said. "I'm here to visit with my darling Ranma." The object of her affection stepped behind Akane. "No way," he said. "I don't want anything from _you._"

In a flash, Kodachi was on him, pulling him away from Akane. He started to cringe in irritation, but before he could take any steps to remove her, his thoughts were interrupted by another hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Tatewaki Kuno, who was now beaming. "Yes," he said with some excitement. "You have my permission to go steady."

"Steady?" Ranma said, becoming agitated. "I have no intention of going steady with her! I have a fiancée!" Akane grinned at Kodachi, making a highly inappropriate gesture with her tongue. Kodachi frowned, then grinned wickedly. "Well then," she said. "How about we wager Ranma on this match?"

Akane's seductive looked disappeared instantly, and her lips curled down into a scowl. "I am _not_ wagering the love of my life on a gymnastics tournament, no matter how sure I am that I'll lay your scrawny ass out!"

Kuno put a hand on her shoulder. "But, Akane," he said. "If you wish to leave Ranma, you need only lose. It's so simple."

Akane elbowed him in the gut. "You had a million chances to get a piece of me. You were too stupid to go for it, and you blew it. Too late now."

Kodachi jumped up in a flurry of black rose petals. "For Ranma, then," she cried. "Don't worry, my love! You shall be mine when this match is over! Until then, farewell!" She darted away with a cackle. Kuno turned to head inside. "Saotome," he said. "Take care of my sister." He walked away.

Akane and Ranma blinked. "She's a Kuno?" Akane muttered. Ranma shook his head. "That explains so, so much," he said. "It must be a family thing."

Akane thought for a moment. "Do you suppose," she wondered aloud, "that they practiced screwing together? I always wondered if brothers and sisters did that."

Ranma made a face. "Gross! Besides, you like girls. Did you ever get with your sisters?"

"Good point. I never had any desire to. Though I fake attraction to Nabiki once in a while just to gross her out for kicks. She really _does_ need to loosen up a little. Figuratively speaking." They headed inside.

* * *

><p>Akane sat on the floor of the dojo, panting. Ryoga looked down from where he stood. "I think that's enough for today," he said. "You've come along with the ribbon very well. Very quick progress."<p>

Akane looked up at him. "You really think so?"

"Of course."

"What about you, Ranma? How am I doing?"

Ranma fidgeted from where he sat, against the wall. "You're definitely better. You still get tangled up a little, though."

Akane hung her head. "Yeah, yeah. I'm catching the other tools, though. Even if I don't get the ribbon down, I can manage with the clubs and ball. I'll do alright. We've still got a couple days."

It was Thursday night, and the match was Saturday morning. Akane was a little worried. She'd gotten better over the past few days, but she wasn't totally convinced that she was good enough to compete. She was going up against a master, after all— someone who'd trained every day for years. How was she going to beat a girl like that with a week's training under her belt?

Ryoga bent over to pick something up. Akane watched as Ranma's eyes flicked over for a look, before he looked away. She chuckled inwardly. At least the two guys had been entertaining throughout. The day after she talked to both of them, they acted shy, but she couldn't tell much else about how they felt. Since then, it had become increasingly obvious that they didn't see eachother as just some guy, or even as guy friends. Ryoga still acted shy around Ranma; enough that he occasionally tripped over his words when he was giving her direction.

And Ranma… Ranma seemed to be enjoying giving Ryoga the occasional jab. Not being mean; it was good-natured. A couple of times, he even made cracks that involved their one night of passion. It almost seemed like Ranma was… flirting. Once, when Ryoga mentioned how important is was to be flexible in the face of an oncoming ribbon, Ranma cracked, "yeah, I remember you being pretty good at bending." That reduced Ryoga to a stammering mess. It didn't help that Ranma was a girl at the time. And then, to poke fun at her fiancé, Akane admonished the redhead for flirting with her trainer, and she didn't even deny it! She just grinned and shrugged.

Oh, yes. There was definitely something between the two of them. She had no doubt.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Akane led Ryoga into the washitsu for breakfast, just as Ranma came in from the bath, after having to change to a boy after landing in the koi pond (again). He sat, while Ryoga started sipping from the tea he had. Akane immediately started looking between the two, who seemed to be avoiding eachother's gaze. Shyness could be really cute. She chuckled.<p>

"Would you two kiss already?"

Ryoga choked on his tea. Ranma looked at him. "Way to drink, smoothness." Then, he realized how flirty he'd sounded, and looked to see Akane's smirk. He became defensive. "Hey, who says I want to kiss another guy?"

"Yeah!" Ryoga coughed. "It's not like that!"

Akane grinned. "Oh, yes it is. I could see it a mile away. You two aren't fooling anybody."

The two boys locked eyes, then looked away, blushing furiously. Akane just rolled her eyes.

* * *

><p>After school was practice time, and nightfall came after a few hours had already been spent in the dojo. Ryoga watched as Akane swung at Ranma with the clubs, while he darted back.<p>

"Ranma!" she complained. "Would you hold still for me to practice on you?"

"Hey, Kodachi ain't going to hold still! You'd better practice the way you're going to have to fight!"

Akane paused. "I guess you're right. She acted like I agreed to her bet; part of this match is me fighting for you. Have to win for sure, even if it's just symbolic."

"Maybe we can pass her off on Ryoga."

Ryoga blanched. "No way! She sounds like a lunatic!"

"Nah," Akane said. "Ryoga's already got his eye on somebody in this dojo, don't you Ryoga?" She giggled at the blushes on both boys, then squared off with Ranma, looking mischievous. "All right, Ranma," she said. "I get a hit on you, and you kiss Ryoga. Deal?"

"Akane!" both boys shouted in unison. Akane smirked, then charged. Unfortunately, in her perversion she failed to look down. With her first step, she stepped directly on the ball that she'd been using as a weapon. Ranma and Ryoga jumped for her, but couldn't stop her before she landed hard on the floor. She clutched her ankle, pain in her eyes.

A few minutes later, she lay on her bed, angry, as Kasumi finished taping her ankle. "It's just a sprain," Kasumi said, "but there's no way you can fight on it like this. You'll have to withdraw."

"Like hell I will! I'm going into this to defend my engagement to Ranma! I have to go and I have to win!"

"You'll never win like this," Ryoga said.

"That's right," Kasumi said. "You're going to need a replacement."

Akane frowned. "Yeah, but where am I going to find a girl in great shape with a knowledge of martial arts?" She stopped abruptly, and everyone in the room turned to look at Ranma. He started to sweat. "W-wait," he stammered. "I can't go out there in tights!"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Ranma," she said, "you can pull off those tights better than I can." She stood gingerly, keeping her weight on her good leg. "Come on. We need to get you dressed. You have a lot of training to do."

A few minutes later, the three of them were back in the dojo. Akane sat on the floor, leaning against a wall. Ranma had changed to a girl, and was dressed in a leotard. The view made Akane's mouth water. Ryoga squared off, holding a ribbon. "The only way you're going to get used to these tools overnight," he said, "is to fight with them. Come at me."

Ranma leaped, kicking Ryoga in the head and knocking him to the floor. She looked down at him. "You don't need to go easy on me," she said, before Ryoga snagged her leg with the ribbon and yanked her off her feet. "The _tools,_ Ranma!" he cried. "Use the tools!" Ranma looked sheepish. "Whoops," she replied.

She grabbed a pair of clubs, and they went at it, their arms blurs as the swung the tools at one another. Akane watched in awe, immediately realizing that Ranma was far more skilled than she and Kodachi combined. Ranma was certain to mop the floor with the other girl. "Wow, Ranma," she said. "You're really good!"

Ranma stopped and smirked. "Yeah, well… I ain't been watching you for a week for noth—"

The ball bounced off of her forehead. "Opening," Ryoga teased. Ranma blushed.

Akane shook her head. "You don't even need to practice," she continued. "You could beat her right now!"

Ranma shrugged. "I'd better put in some more time, just to make sure I have a feel for these tools. You can go to bed, though. No sense in waiting up if I'm going to be at this a while."

"You sure?"

"Of course." She helped Akane to her feet, and they kissed. "Good night," Akane whispered, and headed inside. Ranma turned to Ryoga. "All right," she said. "Let's spar some more. Don't hold back; I don't know how much of a fight she's going to put up." Ryoga nodded, and charged.

A couple of hours later, they both stood, catching their breath. Ranma leaned against the wall. "All right," she said. "Might as well quit for the night. We'll spar a little in the morning so that I can get warmed up." Ryoga nodded, and started dragging his futon from the corner. Ranma looked around. "You keeping warm out here?" she asked.

Ryoga shrugged. "Yeah. It's actually a pretty nice place to spend the night."

"Want some company?"

Ryoga stopped dead in his tracks. "Company?"

She shrugged. "I figured, since we're going to spar in the morning, I'd pull out another futon and camp out here with you. If that's all right."

"Oh. Uh, sure. Would be kinda nice to not be alone."

Ranma nodded, walking over to the oshiire and dragging a futon down. She tossed it against the wall on the opposite side of the room as Ryoga's, which disappointed him just a bit. Tossing a blanket and pillow on it, she quickly checked that the door was closed, then set about firing up the heater. A minute later, as heat started to fill the room, she flicked the light switch off. Grabbing some clothes she'd left by the door, she sat on her futon. "Night," she said, lying down.

Under the blanket, she slipped out of the leotard. It occurred to her that, while she was covering herself from Ryoga's eyes, she really wouldn't have minded him seeing her. All of her. She shook her head to clear the thought from it. Getting a pair of boxers and an undershirt on, she leaned over to toss her leotard onto the windowsill.

'Ryoga must love how I look in that,' she thought. She shook her head again and flopped back onto the futon.

As she lay in the darkness, she couldn't get her brain to slow down. After everything that had happened, she didn't want there to be silence between Ryoga and herself. Besides, they'd just trained for a couple hours, and throughout every second the tension had been so thick that you could've cut it with a knife. She had to do _something._

She stood up slowly. "Ryoga?" she said quietly. Ryoga was a bit startled by how vulnerable her voice sounded. She padded over to where he lay. "Can we talk?"

He stood nervously. "Uh… sure, sure."

She took a breath. "About all the stuff that happened, y'know, between me and you… before… ah… Well, look. There's no sense in us being enemies anymore, I guess is what I'm saying. I don't have any friends around here that are good enough at martial arts to spar with, and it doesn't seem like you settle in one place long enough to make friends. So… let's be friends, me and you."

Ryoga brightened. "You mean it? You don't hate me after that fishing rod stuff?"

"Nah, I…" She blushed. "I enjoyed what we did."

"Yeah, me too."

The was a moment of awkward silence, before Ranma spoke. "So, do you actually have a house somewhere? Me and Akane could help you figure out where it is."

"Yeah, my parents' house. I wander there once in a while and drop off stuff I don't need. My parents get lost like I do, so I don't see them there much."

"Is that the same place you lived when you challenged me?"

"Yeah."

"Great! That's not that far from here. We'll go looking for it in a few days."

He smiled shyly. "Alright."

Another awkward silence filled the room. Ranma thought of what to do next, and what to say. "I, ah… I'm glad we worked this out. I'm glad we can be friends." With that, she put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

Ryoga was jubilant. "I'm so glad to have you as a friend!" he said with excitement, wrapping his arms around her in a crushing grip. She patted him on the arm. "Ryoga, Ryoga," she said. "Air!" He loosened his grip. "Sorry," he whispered. She kept her arms around his neck. There was no denying the feelings she was having, but she did her best to fight them anyway. 'You're a guy!' she mentally screamed. 'It's only _friendly!_' But, she knew that statement was a lie. She knew exactly what she was feeling. Worse, she knew what Ryoga was feeling, because she could feel… _it._ Akane's words echoed through her brain— _don't lie to yourself!_

She pulled herself closer, laying the side of her head against his. She let her real thoughts come through— 'I want you so bad, Ryoga. I want you _so_ bad.' She glanced over at the skin of his neck. One quick motion and she could have her lips on it. She stopped— as bad as she wanted it, the night before her important tournament wasn't the right time. As soon as it was over, though…

She released him and stepped back, chuckling nervously. "Well, ah, we better get some sleep," she said. "Big day tomorrow." He nodded, and she turned and padded back to her futon. Laying atop the blanket, her mind was much clearer than before, but now the rest of her body was energized. Too much so to sleep. She looked around; she thought she was in a shadow, but wasn't sure. 'Eh,' she thought, 'I don't mind if he sees.' Kicking off her boxer shorts, she reached down to do something she hadn't even known how to do as a girl before she'd met Akane.

She'd been wrong about the light. She _wasn't_ in a shadow. In fact, she was in almost the brightest spot in the dojo. From his futon, Ryoga lay in silence, wide-eyed, watching everything.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Akane, Ryoga, and Ranma, already a girl, stood face to face with Kodachi in the hallway of St. Hebereke School For Girls. Ranma and Akane got a chuckle out of how much nicer-looking Furinkan was. Kodachi eyed them suspiciously. "A substitute?" she asked.<p>

"Yes," Akane replied. "I injured myself in training, and won't be able to compete. If you'd rather settle this with an oil-wrestling match, however, I believe I could get by."

Kodachi fidgeted uncomfortably. "A substitute is fine." She looked at Ranma. "The pigtailed girl. I believe we've met before. My brother is quite fond of you."

Ranma rolled her eyes. "What a coincidence. I'm quite fond of Akane. If he'da smart enough to take his penis out for her, he could've had us both at the same time."

Kodachi paled and turned away, heading off down the hallway without another word. Akane gave Ranma's butt a squeeze. "Thanks for the mental picture," she muttered, getting a chuckle from Ranma. The three of them headed off in search of the visitor's locker room. They found it after a moment, though the girls realized a major problem once they'd arrived— they'd somehow lost Ryoga along the way.

Ranma became frantic. She raced back and forth outside of the locker room, looking down all of the cross hallways, but not catching sight of him. She came back to the locker room and plopped down. "Oh, no," she muttered. "How are we ever going to find him now? He'll get trapped in this place."

"You seem a lot more concerned than I would have expected."

Ranma didn't reply.

Akane put her arm around her. "Don't worry. He'll probably hear the crowd noise and wander into the gym. Once he can actually see the ring, he'll find his way to our corner."

"I sure hope so."

"He'll be fine. He deals with it all the time. And you shouldn't be getting distracted. You have a match to win."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

* * *

><p>A little while later, Ranma was entering the ring. The referee introduced Kodachi, then turned to Ranma. "Ma'am," she said, "what's your name?"<p>

"Ranma Saotome."

Akane looked at Ranma. "Should you be using your real name?"

"Does it matter?"

The referee grabbed her microphone. "And the challenger," she said, "in this corner… Ranma Saotome!" The audience erupted into frantic whispers. Akane rolled her eyes. "Apparently it does," she replied.

The opponents met at the center of the ring to shake hands. Kodachi extended hers, but as Ranma went to reciprocate, Kodachi lashed out, fastening something to Ranma's wrist. As Ranma looked in surprise, she found Ryoga, a pig, attached to her by a chain. She stared. "Ryoga!" she exclaimed. "_There_ you are! I was worried!" Ryoga blushed.

A girl at the sideline had a microphone, and started explaining the rules. "No bare-handed blows," she announced. "The match ends when one contestant is knocked completely down. And if either contestant falls from the ring, she will be an immediate loser."

Ranma squared off with Kodachi. "Beating up on girls isn't my style," she said, "so I'll knock you out of the ring _before_ you get hurt!" With that, she attacked, whipping the ribbon at Kodachi's legs in an attempt to trip her. Kodachi was quick to dodge, however, flipping backwards and launching two of her clubs at Ranma's head. She spun to avoid them, and before she could even straighten, Kodachi was right in front of her, swinging a club at her head. As it came near, spikes popped from the sides of the club, but Kodachi couldn't get a hit with it. From the sideline, Akane shouted to the referee, but the spikes retracted before the woman could see them. Ranma rolled her eyes— Kodachi had no shortage of tricks.

Ranma held Ryoga close to her face. "Want to help me out with this?" she asked. Ryoga nodded. Ranma grinned. "Then take a big bite!" With that, she swung the chain like a lasso and sent Ryoga flying. He hit Kodachi directly in the chest, and bit down on the first soft flesh his little mouth could find. Unfortunately for Kodachi, it happened to be her left nipple, and the bite sent through her an excruciating pain unlike anything she'd ever experienced before. She let out a blood-curdling scream as Ryoga released her, and Ranma pulled him back to relative safety.

Kodachi clutched her chest for a moment, before she recovered enough to continue. Her face twisted into a scowl. "_Hoop!_" she screamed, and the girl in her corner tossed the weapon to her. She sent it flying at Ranma, who just barely managed to dodge it. As it flew overhead, it sliced off a couple strands of red hair, and after it passed, it hit the cornerpost, slicing the top completely off. Ranma watched with alarm; something on it was sharpened! She heard a voice. "Ranma!" Akane shouted. "Catch!" With that, she tossed Ranma a pair of clubs, and Ranma squared off, weapons in hand.

Her opponent laughed, then launched a volley of clubs, which she managed to deflect with her own. Spying an opening, she threw one of the clubs, hitting Kodachi in the hand. What had appeared to be a hundred clubs was quickly revealed to _actually_ be a hundred clubs, sent clattering to the ring from the hit. Surprised to have her attack foiled, Kodachi jumped back, thinking fast.

She flipped onto a cornerpost, brandishing her ribbon. "This is only the beginning!" she cried out. "The essence of martial arts gymnastics is control of an endless arsenal of weapons!" With that, she aimed her ribbon out of the ring, snagging the bell used to start the rounds. She flung it at Ranma, who flipped into the air as the bell sailed overhead. Akane tossed her the ribbon; as she caught it, Kodachi snagged a chair from ringside and sent it flying like the last object. Ranma flipped to avoid it, then spied a target of her own. Jumping to the opposite cornerpost, she flipped the ribbon and wrapped it around the judge's table. With a mighty yank, she hauled the table high into the air, flinging it Kodachi's way.

It was time for an even more advanced weapon, and Kodachi already had one in mind. Flinging the ribbon into the audience, she snagged her brother, hauling him out of his seat and sending him flying Ranma's way. As he flew, he pulled his signature bokken and slashed, cutting the still-airborne table in two. Ranma landed, searching for her next weapon, but a shout from her corner gave her the answer.

"Ranma!" Akane called. Ranma looked, and Akane put on an impromptu mime act— she pointed to herself, then Kodachi, then made a kissy face, and then a reaction of horror. Ranma blinked, then understood, grinning wickedly. She flipped the ribbon as Akane raised her arms over her head, and in a snap, the ribbon was around Akane's waist, pulling her through the air.

Kodachi stepped to flip her ribbon, then stopped dead at the sight of Akane flying toward her. Before she could evade, Akane smacked into her, wrapping her in a bear hug. "Hello again," she said seductively. She put her face against Kodachi's neck, letting a breath out. The reaction was instantaneous— Kodachi let out a yelp and started clawing at her, frantically trying to scrape her off. Akane let out an aroused groan, and Kodachi shouted in alarm. "Get off of me, you sick hentai!" she screeched, still trying to yank Akane loose. Akane frowned; her moves weren't getting _enough_ of a reaction. Time to step things up a notch.

Chuckling, she leaned forward and started gently kissing Kodachi's neck, moving along her jaw to giver her a kiss on the lips. Kodachi turned her head and spat, disgusted, but Akane wasn't finished. Keeping one hand in place to hold her tight, she slid the other down, giving the girl's butt a firm squeeze. "You feel _nice,_" she muttered, nibbling on Kodachi's ear.

At that point, Akane's unwanted advances managed to push Kodachi beyond her breaking point. With a screech, she took off sprinting across the ring, leaping over the ropes in a single bound. "Get off! Get off! Get _off!_" she yelled, landing and taking a step. Then, it hit her— she realized what she had just done. She stopped and looked back up at the ring. Akane released her, and took a step back. "On second thought," she said. "You're not really my type. Maybe we should just stay friends."

Kodachi reddened in fury, pulling a club back as if to hit Akane with it. Before she could move, however, it was torn from her hand and sent flying, thanks to Ranma flinging her ribbon from inside the ring. Kodachi looked at both of them, humiliated. She turned and stormed out the nearest door.

The referee walked up to Ranma and held her hand up. "The winner!" she said into her microphone. "Ranma… Saotome!" The audience erupted into cheers. Ranma waved, then held Ryoga up and gave him a kiss on the head, causing him to blush under his black fur. Akane jumped into the ring to put an arm around Ranma, both of them waving to their classmates in the crowd.

* * *

><p>That night, Ryoga stood alone in the dojo, running through some katas. It had been an exciting day, to be sure. First, he got to see Ranma winning, after being the one to train him. Having one's student excel was a feeling that couldn't be described. But, he'd managed to help as well, albeit involuntarily. And considering the things that had happened between he and Ranma, it was pretty special to know that they'd been a team.<p>

He jumped at the sound of a footstep, and turned to see Ranma in the doorway. He was a boy, and was dressed in a gi. "Hey, Ryoga," he said shyly. "I just thought, since we were friends and all… I thought you might want to spar. Y'know, just a little practice for both of us."

Ryoga shrugged. "Ah… sure," he replied. Ranma nodded and shed his gi top, leaving Ryoga to stare. That was a _lot_ more skin than he was used to seeing, even if Ranma was a guy. Ryoga paused, then pulled his shirt up and off. Ranma grinned at the extra flesh he was treated to. They squared off and charged, their arms and legs a blur as they threw a profusion of strikes and blocks at eachother.

Ranma did a backflip to avoid a kick, then bounced off of the nearest wall, heading for Ryoga. He drew back to punch, and Ryoga blocked, as he'd expected. He'd planned his move already; it was something straight out of Akane's book. He shifted his aim lower, landing and doing a leg sweep to knock Ryoga onto his back. Ranma threw himself on the boy as he kicked, and wound up on top of him, staring into his eyes.

His brain paused for just a split second, and one phrase echoed through his mind— _go for it_. He lowered his face and pressed his lips to Ryoga's, locking him in a kiss. Their kiss deepened immediately, as both boys were in the same frame of mind— they were a little shy, but the week of spending all day around eachother, and the flirting that went on, had built up such an incredible amount of tension that the need for relief surpassed anything else.

Ranma pulled back, looking away. "Ryoga," he said quietly. "Would you rather I… change into a girl?"

Ryoga shook his head. "No. I like this just fine."

Ranma looked at him. "You sure?"

"Definitely."

With that, their faces came together in an even more powerful kiss than before, their tongues clashing together as each of them let out a groan of pleasure. Ranma put his hands flat on the floor, balling them into fists from the arousal he was feeling, while Ryoga slapped both hands onto Ranma's rear, giving him a firm squeeze. Ranma ground down with his hips, and from what he could feel, knew that Ryoga was as turned on as he was. He put a hand on the boy's side, sliding it down to the waistband of his pants and slipping it under, pushing them down. Ryoga responded with a groan and gave him an extra-hard squeeze, while lifting his own hips. Ranma took the hint, grabbing hold of whatever layers covered Ryoga and tugged them away. Ryoga responded by grabbing the waist of Ranma's gi pants and doing the same, and in an instant, both boys had kicked their pants away and lay naked together.

Ryoga looked up at Ranma. "What do we do now?" he whispered. A slight grin tugged at Ranma's face, and he slid a finger along Ryoga's erection, before wrapping his hand around it and giving him a gentle tug. Ryoga nodded with a shy smile, taking hold of Ranma the same way and moving to his rhythm.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Akane walked into the washitsu to find Ranma and Ryoga already there. She could tell immediately that the tension had lifted. She plopped down next to Ranma, giving him a quick hug and a kiss. She looked at them. "You two finally kissed," she said. "Thank the Kami. I was starting to think I'd have to live with your sexual tension for the rest of my life." Both boys reddened, and she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table as her lips curled into a wide grin. "So," she said, "gimme the details. Leave out <em>nothing<em>."

Ranma shrugged. "Well, we were sparring, and I kinda wanted to pin him, so first chance I got to trip him up, I threw myself on him, and we just started kissing."

Akane let out a breath, her excitement evident. And she _was_ excited; while she'd been in bed with many guys, Ranma was the only real boyfriend she'd ever had, and thus it was her first time hearing of her lover's trists with someone new. "Ooh," she said. "Laying down. Nice. Tongue?" The boys blushed, and Akane had her answer. She closed her eyes. "What a way to start the day, a hot story like this. So what else happened?"

Ranma's blushed deepened a bit. "Well, he was grabbing my butt…"

"Mmmm…"

"And so I grabbed the waist of his pants and started pulling them down…"

Her eyes flew open, and the color drained from her face.

"And once I did, he pulled mine down."

Akane stared straight ahead, alarmingly pale. "Then what happened?"

"Well, ah… I grabbed hold of his… and he grabbed hold of my… and we…"

"All the way?"

"Uh… yeah."

The color rushed back to Akane's face and then some, as she turned bright crimson, her eyes wide. She jumped to feet. "Excuse me," she said hurriedly, "I need to go… masturbate… for the next half hour or so…" She turned and ran from the room, nearly flattening Kasumi, who was bringing breakfast in.

"Akane!" Kasumi said. "Where are you going so fast? Breakfast is ready!"

"Ranma and Ryoga kissed."

Kasumi smiled. "Oh, that's nice. They finally got rid of their tension. Very healthy."

"And gave eachother a hand job." She turned and ran off down the hall.

Kasumi stopped dead, stood motionless for a second, then rushed in and set the tray of food on the table. "Excuse me," she said, "I need to go… I need to get the… I'll be back!" She rushed out of the room, as Ranma and Ryoga chuckled.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I'm really enjoying making Kasumi the shy hentai. Fun._


	6. Chinese Takeout

_A/N: A content warning: At the beginning, this gets a bit explicit. Not quite lemon status, but still a bit explicit. Later on, it gets into lemon territory; because of what's happening at that point in the chapter, I have to write all the way through two people having sex. The scene wouldn't work without it. I don't go into much detail; indeed, it's basically an internal monologue through that whole scene._

* * *

><p>Ranma padded down the hallway, heading for the furo. For once, she wasn't soaking wet from a dip in the koi pond. Of course, she'd ended up in it that morning, like most mornings, but she'd changed clothes without changing back to a boy. At the time, she'd thought it wouldn't be a big deal, but the smell of pond water that continued to waft from her skin was starting to get annoying.<p>

As she was about to slide the door open to the outer bath, she heard the door from outside open. Glancing to look, she was surprised by Ryoga, letting himself in. "What are you doing here?" she asked. He shouldn't have ended up anywhere without her help— after the gymnastics tournament, they'd led him back to his parents house and gave him strict instructions not to walk anywhere that took him outside. It had been a few days since then, and she and Akane had already stopped by twice, so that they could take him anywhere he needed to go.

Ryoga looked sheepish. "I thought I could go out and get the mail," he replied. Ranma put her hands on her hips and gave him a stern look. He looked away. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't leave the house. Should've listened. At least I found my way _here_."

Ranma sighed. "Yeah, yeah, you got lucky," she replied with an eyeroll. She glanced around. Seeing nothing but an empty hallway, she walked up to him, put her hands on his shoulders, and put her lips to his in a soft kiss. After a moment, their kisses started getting deeper, their tongues clashing as she pulled him closer, wrapping her arms tight around his neck. Ranma let out a squeak as Ryoga's hand found its way to her rear, and then let out a groan as she pressed her body against his.

They both nearly jumped out of their skin at the sudden touch of an extra hand on each of them. Their eyes flew open and they looked to see Akane's grinning face, as she stood with one hand each on the small of their backs. "Good morning you two!" she said cheerfully. "So nice of you to put on a show for me." She looked to Ranma. "Now, the agreement we had said that you could have all the guys you want, so if you really want to keep Ryoga for yourself, that's fine. But, it seems more efficient to mess around with both of us at the same time. I know _I'd_ love the experience."

Ranma looked to Ryoga, who blushed. Akane turned to the boy. "What do you say, Ryoga? It would let _me_ have two guys at once, and _you_ could get two girls, too. I know you're nice to look at with your clothes off; I've seen every inch of you on the videot…"

Ranma gave her a puzzled look, and she grimaced. "Oh, Ranma, one thing I forgot," she said. "When I made Ryoga have sex with you, I told him he had to let me hide a camera in the room."

Ranma's eyes bulged. "There's a video of it?"

She nodded.

"Has anyone else seen it?"

"I made a copy for Kasumi."

Ranma reddened and hid her face. "Oh, Kami, your sister's seen me having sex. With somebody besides you."

"She might be willing to give you a peek at some things to repay you—"

"_No!_ No, that's alright. Getting involved with two sisters is a little weird, even after all the stuff we've done together. I'm just worried that our dads might find it."

"Nah, don't worry. The original's locked in a box in my closet, and Kasumi keeps her porn in a steamer trunk in _her_ closet. They're secure."

Ranma deflated. Ryoga looked interested. "Steamer trunk?"

"She's as big of a hentai as me, but she's too shy to go after guys. She kinda has a collection." She looked back and forth at both of them. "Do you guys want to watch the tape?"

Both blushed, and Ryoga gave Ranma a shy glance. "We should. Watch it. Together." Ranma nodded.

She grinned. "So what about what I was asking? Are you two going to make me sit on the sidelines while you're swordfighting? I'd love to get a little closer, and Ryoga, I can't imagine you don't want to see a little more of me."

Ryoga rubbed the back of his head. "Actually, ah, I saw you already. When I was a pig in your room. And then you two…"

"Oh, that's right! I forgot about that. And I bet you wished you were in the middle." She looked to her fiancé, giving the redhead her best puppy-dog eyes. "Ranma?"

Ranma shrugged. "I like the idea. Ryoga?"

He was still blushing. "I, uh… I don't see why not. I mean… you're the only person I've been with, and since you two are already…"

Akane wrapped an arm around each of them, pulling them to her. "Oh, how I _love_ my life. Were you two heading to the furo?"

"I dunno," Ranma replied. She looked to Ryoga. "You want me like this, or…"

"Doesn't matter."

Akane yanked them toward the door. "No need to waste time, then. Let's go."

A few minutes later, the three of them were undressed and getting cozy in the furo. Ranma, changed back to his male form, sat in the middle with Ryoga on one side and Akane clinging to the other. She rubbed his chest. "Have I told you recently that you're the most amazing, wonderful fiancé in the world?"

He chuckled. "A couple times."

"I think I have the two hottest guys in Nerima in my furo. If I died right this second, I would die happy." She looked past him to Ryoga, and ran a hand along one of her breasts. "You like the view, Ryoga? Ranma's girl side has nicer curves than me, but I still get looks."

Ryoga looked down shyly. "You've got more muscle than most girls. But you don't come out looking like a man like those bodybuilder girls. It suits you."

Ranma leaned back with his eyes closed. "Boy, does it."

Akane chuckled and ran her hand down his chest, then his stomach, heading toward something she wanted to massage. Right as she reached it, though, her hand bumped something else— Ryoga's hand, as he was started to give Ranma's thigh a feel. Their heads snapped up and they looked at eachother, and Akane's lips curled into a sly grin.

"So, Ranma. What would you think about watching the two people you're screwing make out with eachother?"

Ranma's head snapped up and he paled slightly, as the blood rushed from the top half of his body. "That actually sounds… _really_ hot."

The last word had barely left his mouth before Akane had pulled away and grabbed Ryoga's arm, yanking him in front of her. With theatrical zeal, she threw herself on him, pulling him close by the hips and crushing her lips against his. He was so surprised that it took him a few seconds to even move, but he eventually overcame his shock and started kissing back. Ranma watched, mesmerized, as Akane leaned down to kiss Ryoga on the chest, then turned and made a kissy face at her fiancé, all while stroking Ryoga under the water.

She turned back to Ryoga. "C'mon," she whispered, "let's give him something to look at." She pressed her lips to his neck and started sucking gently, chuckling at the shiver that ran through him. Not used to that type of contact, he put his hands back and gripped the edge of the furo for stability. Akane stopped and took hold of his wrists, placing his hands firmly on her breasts, then went back to his neck. She gave his butt a squeeze and let out a moan, hoping that Ranma could hear. After all, she was thinking less of feeling up Ryoga, and more of putting on a good show.

She jumped as she suddenly felt another body press against her back, and while she was still against Ryoga's neck, a new pair of lips started sucking her own neck. She stopped and let out a shaky breath, glancing back to see Ranma's face next to hers. "Kami," she whispered. "I've always wanted to be between two guys. The guys I used to mess around with would never do it." She reached back to give Ranma's rear an affection squeeze, then let out another moan as Ranma's hands slid past her to do the same to Ryoga. Despite the hot bath water, she shivered.

"I love you," she whispered over her shoulder. "You have no idea how much I love you. I know it sounds crazy to say that when there's another boy with us, but it's the truth. This is a dream come true for me." She let out another moan, acutely aware of the two male parts pressing against her from both sides. She leaned back against Ranma's chest, only to nearly faint as he leaned forward, past her head, to put his lips to Ryoga's. From her position in between, she could feel Ranma's movements as he pawed at Ryoga.

She stopped and patted them both on the arm. "We should move," she said quickly. "Let's take this to your room, Ranma. Before I end up having to scrub the furo again." He nodded and stood, with Ryoga following. Akane remained where she sat for a moment, before shakily dragging herself to her feet and following them, her head swimming.

* * *

><p>Ranma, now a girl, sat across from Akane, wolfing down the ice cream sundae in front of her. Akane laughed. "Too macho to eat ice cream as a guy," she said, shaking her head. Ranma looked at her. "Hey," she replied, "I always wanted to try one of these fruity things, but I would've been too embarrassed as a guy."<p>

"I guess I can understand that," Akane said, taking a bite of her own. "You wouldn't ever dress like that as a guy, either." Ranma glanced down at the clothes she and Akane had bought earlier— a tube top that screamed "80s" and a pair of shorts so tiny that you could nearly see her giblets. She blushed. "Yeah, well, the pervert in me likes dressing up as a girl," she replied.

Akane looked with satisfaction at her own new outfit, very similar to Ranma's. "We're stopping by Ryoga's house to let _him_ enjoy all this, right?"

Ranma grinned. "You got two guys; only fair that he gets two girls."

"Having two guys was my biggest wish since I hit puberty. Never forget that you gave me the thing I wished for more than anything else." She sat and thought for a moment. "We just need to find another girl so that _you_ can have two. _And_ we could go all-girl."

Ranma nodded before turning her attention to the television on the wall, where a news anchor sat at a desk. "We'll get back to American correspondent Tom Tucker for an in-depth report on conveniently placed news reports in television shows, but first, a special documentary report from China."

The screen cut to a very familiar-looking mountain range, where a reporter addressed the camera. "I'm in central mainland China, and behind me is the legendary Bayankala Mountain Range of the Qinghai Province." Ranma pointed excitedly. "Hey!" she said. "I've been there!"

The report continued. "The peoples of this area revere this, Amesores Mountain, as a local deity." The camera panned to get a wide shot of the wilderness around them. "What hidden secrets lie buried in its stony depths? The conditions here in this Amazon village are…" He pointed. "Oh! Look at that!"

The wall by the television suddenly blew apart in a shower of rubble. When the dust cleared, Ranma found herself looking into an angry pair of eyes she'd hoped to never see again. The purple-haired Chinese girl stared back. "Ranma," she said simply.

Ranma started to tremble. "Sh— Shampoo!"

Shampoo scowled. "Die!" she shouted, lunging and stabbing her chúi at the redhead, who barely managed to evade. She struck again, and Ranma countered by grabbing the window shade and tearing it down, throwing it in her face. She fought to get it off as Ranma dove for cover.

Freeing herself, Shampoo looked around, and Akane pointed to the hole that the girl had entered through. "She ran out that way," she said, and Shampoo broke into a sprint, darting outside. Ranma emerged from a cabinet, and Akane leaned near her. "So," she said, "you're friends with a cute Chinese girl?"

"'Friends' is not the word."

"Think she'd be game for a four-way?"

Ranma jumped to her feet. "_No! _No, no, no, no, no! C'mon! We gotta go! _Now!_" She grabbed Akane's wrist and dragged her away.

As they walked home, Ranma told Akane the story of how she knew Shampoo. As she listened, Akane was hopeful to put a positive spin on things. After all, the girl was very cute, and she rather liked the idea of messing around with a foreigner. It was exotic. "So," she said, "do you think there's any chance at all to settle things peacefully? She's awful cute. Maybe we can make friends with her and have a little fun."

Ranma shook her head emphatically. "No way!" she responded. "She can't be reasoned with at all. She's from a nutcase tribe and nothing will stop her. The only good thing is, she doesn't know I'm cursed. When I was running, if I changed, she wouldn't know it was me."

"Well, we have to figure something out. If she's here, she's not going away anytime soon."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll think of something."

"Think we'll be safe at Ryoga's? She's just as likely to find us at home as his house."

"I'm kinda afraid of her wrecking his house, but… I think it's okay. We're going to be inside for a few hours, anyway."

A couple of hours later, the three teens were curled up in Ryoga's bed, the only boy present basking in the glow of having two girls on him at once. Ranma gave Akane a squeeze. "You think we should call home?" she asked. "Any idea when Kasumi is making dinner?"

Akane stretched. "Not for a while, but I'll call her anyway. Make sure she doesn't worry." She climbed out of bed. "Mind if I use your phone, Ryoga?"

The boy murmured an unintelligible reply.

"I'll take that as a yes. Be right back."

She headed out of the room. Ranma smirked at Ryoga, then wrapped an arm around him and started nibbling on his ear. He let out a moan and turned to face her. Their lips came together and they started making out, and from what Ranma could feel pressing against her under the covers, Ryoga was replenished enough from their last tryst that she could start him going again.

She didn't have the chance, though, as Akane picked that moment to rush back into the room. On her face was a look of shock, which itself was itself to instantly stop the other two from what they were doing. Ranma sat up. "Akane?" she asked. "What's the matter?"

"Shampoo's at our house. Kasumi told me over the phone."

Ranma slapped a palm to her face. "No, no, no. How could she know we lived there?"

"Apparently she followed your father home. He's cowering under the table."

"Moron." She scratched her head. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her I'd ask you what to do and call her back."

Ryoga sat up next to her. "You two could both stay here tonight."

Ranma brightened. "Yeah! Just tell Kasumi not to say where we are where Shampoo can hear. She's not going to stay the night waiting on us. We can get back safely in the morning."

Akane nodded and left. Ranma leaned against Ryoga and gave him a gently kiss on the neck. It sent a shiver down his spine. She lay back and reached up to rub his back. "Where were we?"

* * *

><p>The next morning, the two of them snuck into the house, Ranma in his male form. Sure enough, Shampoo was nowhere to be found. With a sigh of relief, they plopped down at the table. After a moment, Genma entered. "Ranma," he said, "get ready to train. You need to be on your game with that Amazon girl coming around."<p>

Ranma shook his head. "Uh uh," he replied. "If we train in the yard, you're going to kick me in the pond. If you kick me in the pond, I'm going to turn into a girl. Right now, as a guy, she doesn't know who I am."

"Boy! You—" He stopped abruptly, staring out into the yard. The others turned to look, and Ranma and Akane jumped at the sight of Shampoo, who was stepping onto the engawa. She looked at those in the room. "Where Ranma?" she asked. "Ranma back yet?"

No one answered, and after a moment, a look of recognition crossed the girl's face as she realized that Akane was with the girl she'd seen the day before. She swung a chúi, which Akane dove to avoid. "You hide Ranma!" she shouted, as Akane jumped up, ready to fight. She didn't have to, though, as Shampoo's attack had angered Ranma to the point of action. He jumped to his feet. "Leave her alone!" he screamed, kicking the chúi from Shampoo's hand. It flew into the air and landed directly on her head. She stood for a moment, dazed, before crumpling to the floor.

Everyone stared in shock. "Oh, no," Ranma said.

"She's gonna come after your guy side now!" Akane chimed.

"I'm pretending we're not related," Genma said.

Shampoo stirred and sat up. She stared ahead through unfocused eyes, before shaking her head to clear it. She stood and padded over to Ranma, who recoiled. "Please, no kiss of death," he muttered, leaning away. She stopped and stared for a moment, before throwing her arms around his neck and crushing her lips to his.

"Ooh!" Akane said softly. She'd been eyeballing the girl already; while the previous day Shampoo had been fairly covered up, on this day she'd shown up in a cheongsam that only reached about mid-thigh, and it showed off enough to drive Akane to distraction. If the girl weren't trying to kill her, she would've already made a pass at her. Now, though, she was suddenly interested in Ranma, and that meant that she had a shot.

Ranma, meanwhile, wasn't at all enjoying the sudden attention. As soon as he regained his senses, he turned his head in a desperate attempt to avoid her mouth, though with her clinging to his neck, he wasn't able to accomplish much. Finally, when he couldn't take any more, he managed to wedge his hands between their bodies and pushed her away.

Akane took that as a time to pounce. She tugged on Shampoo's arm, and motioned for her to follow. Shampoo gave her a quizzical look, but complied. Akane led her to the engawa and out into the hallway, while Ranma edged his way out the other door.

Leading her a few steps from the room, Akane stopped and turned to Shampoo. "You like that boy?"

Shampoo nodded. "It Amazon law. If Amazon woman is defeated by outside man, Amazon woman must marry man. It way of getting strong men to make babies with."

"What about losing to outside women?"

"Amazon woman who lose to outside woman must kill outsider, even if it mean chasing woman to ends of earth."

"Aha! I get it!" Shampoo looked at her in confusion, and Akane waved her hands dismissively. "Nothing. Nothing. Well, we might have to work out a deal for that boy."

Shampoo turned apprehensive. "What you mean?"

"It just to happens that he's the man _I'm_ going to marry."

"No! Shampoo marry! It law!"

"Well, maybe we can both have him. Sometimes he and I like to find other people to spend time with."

Shampoo gave her a blank stare.

"You know, all three of us… at once…"

Shampoo still stared at her blankly.

Hoping to reinforce her point, Akane put her hand on the girl's thigh and started to slide it up, reaching the hem of her dress and pushing it up. As soon as Akane's hand went up far enough to cup her butt, the realization hit the Amazon like a ton of bricks, and she leaped back, scowling.

"You no touch Shampoo, pervert girl! Shampoo no share husband! Shampoo not interested in having other girl!" With that, she raced back to the washitsu, only to find it empty. She spun around and faced Akane. "Where he?" she demanded. Akane shrugged. "He probably ran away outside," she replied. "He loves me. He didn't like you kissing him." Shampoo gave her an angry look and ran outside, jumping over the wall and out of sight.

A moment later, Ranma's head appeared upside down from above the doorway. "She gone?" he whispered. Akane nodded, and he jumped down, sitting next to her at the table. Akane sighed. "That girl is so sexy," she said. "I really hope she changes her mind about a three-way."

"Are you outta your mind?! That girl's crazier than Kodachi! She's capable of killing people!"

"Still…"

"Did you tell her I was the same person as the red-haired girl?"

"No, and I didn't use your name, so she's still clueless. It's probably the best way to deal with the kiss of death thing, though. Just tell her about your curse, and she'll only be worrying about trying to marry you."

"That ain't better. She might come after _you_."

"I could probably take her. I'd rather take her to bed. Hey!" She brightened. "If I have to challenge her for you, do you think she'd agree to mud wrestle? We could sell tickets…"

Ranma sighed. "Don't think like that. She could really kill you. We need to get rid of her, and that's all there is to it."

Akane shrugged.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Kasumi was getting breakfast ready, and her sisters sat at the table. Kasumi looked to Akane. "Akane?" she said. "Could you go wake Ranma up? Breakfast will be ready soon." Akane jumped up. "Gladly!" she replied, racing to the steps.<p>

As she dashed to his room, she contemplated the possibilities. His father was out sparring with hers in the dojo, so he was alone in there. More than once, she'd woke him up by initiating some sort of sex act while was asleep. It was rather fun to watch him squirm in his sleep until he awoke from whatever she was doing. It always put him in a good mood for the rest of the day.

She made it to his room and quietly opened the door, pausing in confusion at the sight that met her: Ranma, male, laying on his bed in his boxers and an undershirt, with a very naked Shampoo pressed against him, one of her arms draped across his chest. Akane brightened— he must have changed his mind! She slipped in, gently laying down on his other side and kissing him on the neck. He stirred, and in his half asleep state, didn't realize where she lay. He reached over and grabbed Shampoo solidly by the breasts.

They didn't feel right. He'd played with Akane's enough by then that he knew them by touch.

He opened his eyes slowly, and, seeing who was in front of him, yanked his hands back like he'd been shocked. He sprang to his feet, only then seeing Akane laying on the floor. She stood, while he looked at her in disbelief. "Are you crazy?!" he hissed. "It was one thing to stick me with Ryoga, but she's dangerous!"

Akane was confused. "Huh? _I_ didn't let her in. She was already in here. I figured you'd changed your mind about her."

Ranma paused, then rushed to the window, which he'd closed last night. It was wide open. He slumped. "She snuck in," he muttered. He spun around. "Let's get outta here without waking her up," he said. The last word barely made it out of his mouth, though, before the girl stirred, sitting up. She looked to Ranma, smiled weakly, then rose, stretching. Ranma turned to run, grabbing some clothes from atop his dresser, slipping past Akane, and grabbing her hand to drag her behind him. Shampoo, still naked, gave chase as they hurried downstairs.

Kasumi stared in surprise as the naked Chinese girls sprang into the washitsu just after Ranma rushed in, with Akane behind both of them. "Shampoo," she said sweetly. "What a… lovely… surprise." Akane smirked, then leaned forward and gave Shampoo a firm smack on the butt. Shampoo jumped and spun around.

"Hey, China doll," she drawled.

Shampoo looked offended. "My name Shampoo!"

"Shampoo, I told you yesterday. You can do whatever you want to Ranma, so long as I get to eat Chinese, too."

Soun, at the opposite end of the table, looked up from his newspaper. "Akane, please don't talk like that in my presence."

"Sorry, daddy."

Shampoo gave her a defiant look. "Shampoo no share!"

"Then Shampoo doesn't get any closer to Ranma than what you managed during the night. And now that Ranma knows you can sneak in through closed second-floor windows, he's probably going to work really hard to make sure you can't do it again."

"Damn straight!" Ranma spat.

Akane grabbed his hand. "_We're_ going to school now. Don't follow us. If you change your mind, come back here later." With that, she pulled him to his feet, and they headed off.

* * *

><p>The morning passed without incident, and by lunchtime, Ranma and Akane were both much more relaxed than they'd been at the start of the day. As they sat together in their classroom, Akane pulled two bentō boxes from her bag, and Ranma's mouth immediately started watering. "Oh, yes," he said, rubbing his hands together. "Kasumi makes such good lunches!"<p>

Akane smiled. "Oh, Kasumi didn't make this," she said. "I did." She set the bentō in front of him. He opened it, paused, took a sniff, and turned to her, his expression unreadable. "What exactly _is_ this?" he asked. Her smile faded a bit. "Curry," she replied. "I haven't had a lot of luck with cooking, but I think I got it at least close to right this time."

Ranma gingerly picked up the chopsticks inside, grabbed a piece, and placed it in his mouth. The tears that followed clouded his vision for a moment, before he choked it down. Akane looked worried. "It still isn't very good, is it?" she asked. Then, she smirked. "Well, I think I make up for my cooking in a few other ways." She grabbed a piece of her own lunch and ate it, coughing as soon as she got it down. Her expression turned sheepish. "That seemed a lot better when I taste-tested it," she said quietly.

They jumped at the sound of a boom. Looking in the direction it came from, they heard a second boom, and watched as a section of the outside wall crumbled down. A familiar figure stepped through the opening. "Darling!" Shampoo shouted, bouncing over to him. Ranma was less enthusiastic. "If you're going to follow me to school," he said, "at least use the door."

She produced a metal tray with a lid, and set it in front of him. "Dutiful wife make delicious lunch for airen!" she said with excitement.

"You _ain't_ my wife!"

Akane shrugged. "Aw, eat it, Ranma. It's not like my food was up to snuff today."

Shampoo smiled and lifted the lid, and what was inside made both teens spring to their feet. It was Ryoga, in pig form, apparently cooked as a meal. Ranma grabbed him, frantic, as Akane let out a blood-curdling scream. "Ryoga?" Ranma whispered, shaking the little pig. After a moment, Ryoga stirred, looking at Ranma with grateful eyes. Ranma sighed, setting Ryoga gently on the table. "I'll get him some hot water," he said to Akane. As he did, though, he found that Akane wasn't next to him anymore. He looked just in time to see Shampoo lean back almost to the floor, just in time to dodge Akane's fist.

Akane stared at the Chinese girl, fury in her eyes. "You show up at my house," she growled. "You sneak into my fiancé's bed in the middle of the night. And now, you try to kill his best friend?!" She stepped toward her. "I'm not trying to make friends any more. You want to go? Let's go!"

Ranma jumped. "Akane?" he said quietly. "Let it go. She's really dangerous. Please!"

Akane spun around, her eyes still filled with fury. "You don't think I can beat her?!" she hissed. Ranma leaned away, slightly afraid, and she softened. "I'm not afraid to fight for my fiancé," she said. "If she's not going to compromise, I'll run her off. Take care of him, and I'll tear her apart." She turned to Shampoo. "After you, _bitch_," she said. Shampoo smirked and jumped out the hole in the wall, with Akane hot on her tail. Ranma spun, grabbed Ryoga, and started running. "Ryoga," he said, "we need to change you and get out to Akane in a hurry. She's in real trouble."

A few minutes later, Ranma was racing toward the athletic fields. Ryoga had begged him to go alone, fearing that his own directional challenge would be a hindrance. As a result, the boy was waiting in a restroom with strict instructions not to take a single step. Ranma rounded a corner, and stopped dead at what was in front of him— Akane, unmoving, lying on the ground. He walked toward her slowly, kneeling beside her. She was motionless, but there weren't any signs of injury. The only thing unusual was the fact that her hair was wet, which made no sense. "Akane?" he said, giving her a gentle nudge.

Her eyes snapped open, and she glanced at him before sitting up, putting a hand to her head. Ranma sighed. "Thank the Kami," he muttered. "I thought she'd kill you for sure. She's dangerous and doesn't fight fair at all. You really shouldn't have fought her."

Akane squinted at him. "Do I know you?"

Ranma stopped dead, mouth hanging open. "Uh… what?"

Akane went from looking confused to a very familiar state of arousal. "Ooh… I don't think we've met. I'm Akane Tendo. It's nice to meet you." She raised a hand up and started feeling his chest, as she closed her eyes with a soft sigh. "_Really_ nice," she muttered. "I love when the transfer students are sexy."

Ranma deadpanned. "Akane! What are you talking about? It's me! Ranma!"

They were greeted by the sound of running footsteps, as a group of their classmates reached them. Akane stood. "Hi, guys," she said. Her friends Yuka and Sayuri flanked her. "Akane!" Yuka cried, squinting at her. "Are you alright? We were worried!" Sayuri gave her a disapproving look. "That girl was tough," she chimed.

Akane waved a hand dismissively. "Aw, that little cat-eater didn't have anything on me."

"You were flat on your back!" Ranma shouted.

Akane glanced at him. "I do my best work like that." She looked to her friends. "Is he a transfer student?"

Yuka and Sayuri looked at each other. Sayuri spoke up. "Ranma? He's… been here a while. You know that, right?"

She shrugged. "No. Never seen him before. Though I wish I had…"

The other girls gave each other a startled look. "Akane," Sayuri said slowly. "Ranma is your… fiancé. You two live together."

"Fiancé? Me?"

"Of course!" Yuka replied. "You've known him for months! He's Ranma!"

She stopped. "Ran… ma? It does sound a little familiar… Where do I know that name from?" She grabbed her head as a searing pain hit her like a lightning bolt. Ranma rushed to her side and held her for a moment, before she straightened and looked at him. "I know!" she said brightly. "It's the same as that German tank commander!"

"That's 'Rommel'."

"Oh." She thought for a moment, then shrugged. "I guess it just sounds similar."

Ranma was more than alarmed by her selective amnesia. He grabbed hold of her arm. "C'mon," he said. "You need to see Doctor Tofu. We'll grab Ryoga from where I left him."

"Oh! You've met Ryoga and Doctor Tofu?"

He blushed. "With Ryoga, it was a little more than 'met'."

Akane stopped dead, grabbing hold of his arm. She looked at him, an ever-so-slightly crazed look in her eyes. "How much further?"

"Ah…" He looked away shyly. "Enough that you'd like to hear about it. You really don't remember _any_ of this? We were in the furo together, and then we had a three-way. And we did it again after Shampoo showed up. And for crying out loud, I'm the reason you know Ryoga in the first place! I knew him from my old school!"

Akane was thinking hard; in fact, given what he'd just described, she was trying harder to remember than she ever had in her entire life. "I don't remember any of that," she muttered. "I don't remember ever doing _anything_ with Ryoga. How could I possibly forget something like that? A three-way with two guys would be a dream come true…"

"Yeah, that's what you said at the time. Now come on!" He dragged her toward the school.

A few minutes later, they were walking with Ryoga, en route to Doctor Tofu's clinic. They'd discussed ways of jogging Akane's memory, but had yet to find anything that worked. Ryoga paused, then poked the other boy's chest. "Maybe your other half would jog her memory," he suggested. "Maybe this goofy memory thing only erased your boy side."

"Hey!" Ranma cried. "You might be right!" He ran to the nearest house, searching frantically for a garden hose. He found one after a brief search and quickly turned it on himself, splashing water onto his head. He felt the change after a moment, and dropped the hose, staring at a shocked Akane. "Is this familiar?" the redhead asked.

Akane pointed. "How… how did you do that?" she asked in amazement.

"I'm cursed. Cold water turns me into a girl and hot water turns me back to being a boy. You don't recognize me like this? You don't remember what a Jusenkyo curse is?"

"You can be a boy or a girl at will?"

Ranma nodded slowly.

"Jackpot!" She rushed to Ranma and wrapped her in a bear hug, reaching down to give the girl's butt a squeeze.

Ranma rolled her eyes. "Akane!" she complained. "We did this already!"

"Kami, your girl side is sexy…"

"Akane!"

"Does your girl side like boys or girls? Or both?"

Ranma slapped a palm to her face. "Both halves like both!"

Akane looked toward Ryoga. "So, I can have a three-way with two guys, and then you can change and Ryoga can have two girls?"

"Gah! We did _that_ already, too! I was just telling you about it! And we just messed around with Ryoga yesterday! That's _it!_" She grabbed Akane's hand and started dragging her. "You're getting to Doctor Tofu's clinic right away! I want the old you back!"

After a few more minutes, the two of them plus Ryoga sat in Doctor Tofu's office, as the young doctor stared, perplexed. "Nothing appears to be wrong with her at all," he said. "Akane, how did you feel when you woke up?"

"Refreshed."

"Her hair was wet," Ranma added.

Tofu put his hands over his mouth. "Could it be?" he asked, his voice filled with wonder. "A legendary martial arts technique… I've read about it, but was never sure that it really existed. But this, this is it for sure. Akane's been attacked with the Xi Fa Xiang Gao technique!"

Ranma's eyes widened. "What is it, Doctor Tofu?"

Just then, Genma burst into the room, in panda form. "HE'S RIGHT!" the furball communicated through his normal sign language. "I SAW IT ALL!" He grabbed another sign. "EVEN NOW, AS I…" At that point, Ranma smacked him over the head, thrusting a cup of hot water into the bear's hands.

A moment later, Genma sat, back in human form. "It was surreal," he said. "I wasn't sure that I could believe my own eyes. The speed at which the girl moved; it was incredible. She had Akane knocked down in just a few seconds, and was finished in barely half a minute."

"Ranma," Tofu said, "the Xi Fa Xiang Gao is a two-part technique. The victim has a special herbal shampoo applied, and once it's there, the attacker presses certain pressure points on the scalp. If done correctly, it allows the attacker to selectively erase memory. Getting the right pressure points is very difficult in normal circumstances; doing it at the speed your father is describing would require a degree of skill that I can't even comprehend, especially in a girl your two's age."

Ranma looked sadly at his fiancée. "Is there a way to cure it?"

"Maybe, if I had the shampoo. I have several books of Chinese herbal potions; if you could get the shampoo, one of the books may have the formula needed to counteract it."

Ranma grabbed Akane by one arm and Ryoga by the other. "C'mon!" he said. "We need to find that formula!"

* * *

><p>About a half hour later, Ryoga had been taken home, and Ranma and Akane entered the Tendo house. "I'm home!" Akane called cheerfully, and her sisters came running. Kasumi started looking Akane over, worried, while Nabiki stared in disbelief. "Akane," she said, "is it true that you completely forgot Ranma?"<p>

"Who?"

"The guy standing behind you."

Akane spun around and saw Ranma. She grinned. "Oh, hello," she said, arousal obvious in her voice. "Want to see my bedroom?"

Ranma hung his head. "I've seen it more times than I could count."

"She really _has_ forgotten about him," Kasumi said.

Ranma jumped as a pair of panda paws landed on his shoulders. He spun around, ready to smack his father, only to see Shampoo behind him, holding a pair of fake panda arms. "I fool you!" she said gleefully. Ranma wasn't laughing; in fact, he was furious. He grabbed her by the shoulders, intent on forcing the location of the antidote shampoo out of her, but she mistook his move as one of affection. She glomped onto him, squeezing him while muttering in Chinese.

_Bam!_

Shampoo suddenly found herself flat on her back on the floor, courtesy of Akane, who landed a punch against the Amazon's head. Shampoo looked up at her, in shock, while Akane looked equally shocked. "Why did I do that?" she wondered aloud, staring at her fist. Kasumi started to get misty-eyed. "Some part of her _does_ remember him," she whispered.

Shampoo scowled. "You is stronger than Shampoo thought!" she said, springing to her feet and leaping on Akane's back. She whipped out a bottle of Shampoo, but Ranma was faster, snatching the bottle and his fiancée in one motion. He dragged Akane off down the hall, heading for the furoba.

A moment later, he dragged her inside and pushed her roughly to the sink, pushing her head in and shampooing her hair as quickly as he could. She struggled. "Hey!" she shouted up to him. "I like playing rough just fine, but this is all pain and no sex!" He scrubbed for another moment, then yanked the tap on to rinse her head. He stood back, staring intensely.

"Akane… do you remember me?"

She gave him a coarse look. "Next time you pin me down like that, take my panties off first."

"Akane!"

"You're the new kid. I saw you earlier. Good enough?"

He slumped against the wall. "No," he answered sadly. Just then, Doctor Tofu appeared in the doorway. "Ranma!" he said. "It won't work with that shampoo. You need a different one that counteracts its effects. What does the bottle say?"

"4-1-1."

Tofu pulled a small book from his pocket and looked in it. "Then you need number 9-1-1 to undo it."

"Where do I get it?!"

Tofu smiled. "Don't worry. This book has directions for mixing it."

A familiar voice came from the hallway. "Oh, Doctor Tofu! You mean Akane can be cured?" Tofu's glasses instantly fogged at the sight of the girl he loved, as Kasumi stepped into the doorway. He twisted his hands, ripping the book in half. Ranma's cry of horror fell on deaf ears. "Oh, Kasumi!" Tofu said with a chuckle. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here…"

"Oh, imagine that!" He twisted the book again, sending shredded pages flying. Ranma dropped to his knees, groaning as he watched his only hope fall apart in front of him. Then, he jumped to his feet, racing from the room with Akane following a few steps behind.

She caught him as he ran into his room. He threw his dresser open and started feverishly packing a bag, while she looked over his shoulder. "What are you doing in such a hurry?" she asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I need to go to China to find that shampoo. It's the only hope for you now."

She put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey."

He turned, and was faced with a much more serious expression than she'd been showing since her memory had vanished.

"You're going to more trouble than I've ever seen a guy go to for a girl in my whole life. We really had something, didn't we?"

He nodded and turned, digging through his dresser. "I'm not going to rest until we get it back."

She put her hands on his shoulders and pressed herself against his back. "Can I have a little time with you before you go, then? You're supposed to be my fiancé, and I can't remember even kissing you. Let's spend the night together."

"Couldn't hurt," Nabiki said from the doorway, causing both teens to jump. They looked to see the other Tendo sisters watching them. Ranma shook his head. "I'm afraid it _would_ hurt," he replied quietly. "Her brain's pretty scrambled."

"It doesn't sound like it," Kasumi said. "Not from what Doctor Tofu said. Nothing's really injured."

Ranma blushed. "Is there any way we could _not_ talk about me having sex with you two's sister?"

"Of course," Kasumi said with a knowing nod. She turned and tugged on Nabiki's arm. The middle Tendo leaned in the room. "Quit worrying, Saotome," she said. "If it will make her more comfortable, go for it." They left.

Ranma hung his head. "Why is so much of this stuff public?" he muttered. Akane ran her fingers through his hair. "Please?" she whispered. He paused, then set down the clothes he was holding. "Alright," he said. "I can leave in the morning. It _would_ be nice to spend some time together first. I could be gone a month."

She took his hand and tugged him toward the door. "Let's not waste any time," she said. "I want something to remember until you get back." She led him from the room.

* * *

><p>Ranma look into Akane's eyes from an inch above her, where she lay on her bed with her legs wrapped around him. Her hands snaked up, grabbing hold of his back as their lovemaking began, Ranma breathing hard and Akane letting out an occasional squeak or moan.<p>

Ranma squeezed his eyes shut as tears threatened to make their way out. This wasn't a new position for them, but it always meant a lot to him. She was his whole world, after all. After the newness of getting tackled by her had worn off, he started having feelings for her that he'd never felt before. Emotional feelings. Then, Ryoga showed up and almost cut her head off, and she showed her vulnerable side. Comforting her, and seeing her truly and fully return the affection he felt, made him realize that he was in love for the first time in his life. After that, nothing in the world could compare to the time spent doing what they were doing at that moment.

It wasn't the sex that was the best part. It was good, for sure, but it wasn't the best part. What he enjoyed the most was being close to her— the feeling of her arms around him, and running his fingers through her hair. The soft, slow kisses that they gave each other throughout. Laying his forehead against hers as they caught their breath. These were the things that he pictured every time he needed to think about something happy.

And now, they were gone. Or, at least, possibly gone. If he couldn't cure her of Shampoo's touch, there was no hope that any of that affection would ever come back. She, through no fault of her own, saw him exactly the same way she'd seen him when he first arrived. He was a hot guy; little more. Sure, she seemed to have a little grasp of what they'd had, but only as much as someone who'd been told about it. It was obvious that she didn't remember what lovemaking used to be like. He could sense it— the affection just wasn't there. The idea made him want to cry, and he squeezed his eyes shut again to stop it from happening.

Akane moaned softly, and he sighed. Getting to hold her afterward would be better than nothing. At least he had that much, even if it partially felt like he was holding a different person.

"Mmm…"

He laid his face against the pillow in front of him, letting the side of his head rest against hers.

"Ooh… …nma… Mmm…"

He wrapped an arm under her head and cradled her, straining to feel any of the love that they used to have. Anything.

"Ranma…"

His head snapped up as he thought he heard something impossible.

"Oh, Ranma…"

One of her hands wound its way into his hair, and she tightened her hold on him. He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Ranma… oh… oh… Kami…"

She squeezed him tighter, yanking his body against hers as she lightly dug into his back. She let out a gasp.

"_Ranma!_"

She tensed, then lay still. He didn't move for a moment, afraid that what she was yelling didn't mean anything had improved. After a moment, he slowly lifted his head to look into her eyes. She stared back, her eyes wide and filled with an emotion he couldn't completely figure out; some mixture of fear and recognition. Tears fell down both of her cheeks, and she pulled him close and started sobbing.

"Akane?" he whispered. "Do you remember me?"

She released him and he looked at her again. The tears in her eyes now looked happy, as a smile started to form on her lips. "Yes," she whispered. Her smile grew. "I remember!" She yanked him close again, nearly squeezing the air out of him with her grip. After a moment, she relaxed, and he laid next to her. They held each other for a moment in silence, as the tears continued to flow.

"I'm so sorry I forgot you," she whispered. "I can't believe I forgot how much I love you."

"It wasn't you. It was Shampoo's doing. It's not your fault." He looked into her eyes. "Are you sure your memory's back?"

She pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "I remember everything. From finding you in the furo, to treating Ryoga to two girls at once. And especially how nice it feels to lie with you like this."

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. It was the most relieved he'd ever been.

* * *

><p>That night, the two lovers sat on the engawa, staring out at the night sky, while their fathers and the other Tendo sisters sat inside. The two girls were watching television, but the fathers were enthralled in the rapid progress of joining the schools, and sat weeping tears of joy. Oblivious to the antics of the adults inside, Akane lay her head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around her with a sigh. "I'm so glad you're back," he whispered. "The real you."<p>

"Me too."

They stared off in silence for another moment.

"Ranma?"

"Hm?"

"I haven't really brought it up before… are you sure you're alright with bringing other people into our fun? Like we've been doing with Ryoga?"

Ranma shrugged. "Yeah, I enjoy it fine. Why?"

"Just thought you might be having second thoughts after everything that happened."

"Nah." He gave her a squeeze. "Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Having second thoughts."

She shook her head. "No, I like it as much as I always thought I would. But it's all new to you, and I wasn't sure if you were feeling okay about it. A lot of people can't separate sex from love, y'know?"

"Well, don't worry. I figured all that out. I'm a pervert now. You converted me."

They both chuckled and went back to watching the stars in silence, but they only had a moment's peace. Ranma's highly-trained senses were what alerted him, as he heard the sound of feet land somewhere in the yard. He jumped up, and that was when he caught sight of Shampoo, who appeared to have jumped over the wall. He marched toward her, his jaw set, as Akane stood behind him.

"Shampoo…"

The Chinese girl was much more upbeat. "Airen!" she cried. "You marry Shampoo now, yes?" Her smile was wiped from her face instantly as Akane leaped from behind Ranma and took a swing at her. She managed to dodge the punch, but not the backhand as Akane yanked her arm back the other way. The hand connected directly with her mouth, and Shampoo stood, wiping the blood from her lips, as Akane seethed barely an inch from her face.

"I'm not letting you take my man!" she screamed, close enough to Shampoo that the Amazon leaned back from the sheer volume of her voice. Shampoo's eyes narrowed. "You remember?" she asked, her voice dangerously quiet. "Too bad. If you no remember, you no have to die!" She leaped, but Ranma grabbed her arms in mid-jump. She took it as an opportunity to glomp him, but he promptly knocked her away. He stood for a moment, looking between her and Akane, and then sighed.

"I can't let you keep hurting Akane," he said. "I have to tell you the truth." He turned and walked to the edge of the koi pond, kneeling beside it. Those inside the house, who had been watching since the girl arrived, now stared in shock. Akane gasped. "Ranma!" she shouted, but he held up a hand.

"I have to," he said. "I'd rather she try to kill me than you." Akane just stared, tears coming to her eyes as his chivalry touched her to her core.

He turned away, reached in, scooped up a handful of water with both hands, and dropped it onto his head. The change happened immediately, causing Shampoo to recoil in horror. Ranma stood and fixed the Chinese girl in a level gaze.

"I'm not a boy," she said. "I'm a girl. The boy side was a disguise. It's been me all along."

Inside the house, Soun stiffened. "Saotome!" he screeched. "Is this true?!"

"Tendo, I _swear_ this is the first I'm hearing of this."

Shampoo stared for a moment before reddening in anger, her grip tightening on the chúi she held at her sides. She raised one up with a cry as if to crush Ranma's skull with one blow. Ranma cringed but stood firm— she wasn't running anymore.

She was bracing for pain, but the blow never came. Opening her eyes a crack, she saw Shampoo standing close, her arms still raised while tears rolled down her face.

"Bie liao."

She turned and ran for the wall, leaping over it in a single bound and disappearing into the night. Ranma slumped and Akane wrapped her in a hug. Nabiki strolled to the edge of the floor, Chinese book in hand. "Bie liao," she said. "Goodbye forever. Sayonara."

Ranma wiped her brow. "She's gone forever," she said.

"Yep," Akane replied.

"Never have to worry about her again."

"Nope."

"Thank the Kami."

Akane rubbed her chin. "Too bad she wouldn't compromise," she said. "I would've loved to get a piece of that. But if the only way she comes around is to be a nutjob like that, it isn't worth it." She thought for a moment. "I wonder if Doctor Tofu knows a way to fry her brain, so she loses all the crazy."

Ranma rolled her eyes and turned toward the house. "Still ain't worth it. Besides, she's been the second one to try to take me away already. I'd bet money there will be more. Surely one of them will be a hentai."

Akane grinned. "I'll keep hoping."

* * *

><p><em>AN: How did you like how Akane got her memory back? I thought it was pretty creative. Seems appropriate for this particular fic. And did you get the reference at the ice cream shop? I immediately thought of that old FG episode the first time I watched the anime._


	7. No Soup For You!

_A/N: I wish I didn't get writer's-blocked so easy. I know how jarring it is for a story to update so seldom; you lose track of what happened recently, so you have to skim the last couple of chapters… If I could get decent chapters out any faster, believe me, I would._

_As in my other stories, text surrounded by double-backticks, ``like this``, is spoken Chinese between the Amazons._

_This chapter involves the Amazons' return. I kind of combined Mousse's arrival with his return after getting the duck-curse, though he isn't cursed here. **A warning**— there's a point at which Shampoo describes witnessing some stuff between Ranma, Akane, and Ryoga, and it's not for the faint of heart._

_And thanks to Compucles for the instant spring idea; I'm totally going to do that for the next chapter!_

* * *

><p>"Yaaaaaaaaaahhh!"<p>

Akane jumped at the sound of a horrified scream, immediately recognizing Ranma's voice. She jumped up from where she sat at in the washitsu and broke into a run, tearing out of the house in the direction of the dojo. She rounded a corner and found Ranma lying flat on his back, with the other members of the family standing around him. Perched on his chest was a cat, which Kasumi gently picked up.

She knelt next to him. "Ranma?" she asked, nudging him. He was catatonic (no pun intended), staring at the sky and not seeming to notice that there were people around. She looked up. "What happened?" she asked the others. Genma sauntered up to them, a bucket in his hands. She jumped back, and he tossed the bucketful of water on the prone boy's form. In an instant, Ranma was a girl, and she sat up, startled.

"Coward!" Genma yelled, then leaped back to avoid a strike by Ranma.

"This is all your fault, old man!"

Genma grabbed the cat and held it toward her, sending her scurrying for cover. Akane watched in confusion. She'd never seen Ranma act scared of anything. Except her, a little bit, when she'd first pounced on him in the bath. But now… He was cowering and peeking at the cat as though he thought it would kill him with a single strike.

"Ranma?" she asked. "What's the matter? Are you afraid of cats?" Ranma looked at her, and after a moment, tears started to form in her eyes. Without a word, she turned and ran. Akane was about to chase after her, but Genma started to speak, and she paused. No matter how insane the the explanation was, she was sure it was important.

"It was training I put him through as a child," he explained. "The cat-fist." His tone suggested that he was much more annoyed than concerned with his child's outburst. He went on to explain how the training worked, and then sheepishly conceded that the training had been a bad idea. Akane's opinion of him dropped a bit, though it was pretty low already. She ran off to find Ranma.

She found the redhead sitting sadly in the dojo, leaning against a wall. She sat next to her. "It's no big deal," she said. "Everybody has weaknesses."

"It's a pretty big weakness," Ranma replied without looking up.

Akane drummed her fingers together. "I dunno," she said. "On the one hand, it's a more simple thing that most people would have. But… it's not the kind of thing people would expect, so nobody's going to exploit it. Right?"

"I can be incapacitated by a cat."

"It's okay! Really!" She nuzzled Ranma's neck. "Come on, don't be so depressed. You know I won't think any less of you."

"Yeah? We'll see if you still think that way when someone attacks me with a cat, and I end up laying on the ground as they kidnap you."

* * *

><p>The next day, Ranma stood, puzzled, staring at a note that he'd found in his locker as he was getting ready to go home. He looked to Akane, who was getting her things next to him.<p>

"Hey, Akane?"

"Yeah?"

"You're standing here next to me, perfectly fine, right?"

She gave him a confused look. "Well, yeah. Why?"

He held the note out to her. "Apparently somebody with the same name is being held hostage in the gym and wants me to come rescue them." He shook his head. "Who do you think is behind this one?"

"Somebody dumb as a brick. Signing a note with my name without even trying to get me out of the way before you found it? That's just brainless."

"Guess we'd better go to the gym and see, huh?"

She cracked her knuckles. "A fight. Good real-world practice. Though it will probably be over in ten seconds, judging by the people we're surrounded with at this school."

A few minutes later, they were standing in the gym, staring at the stage. The sight that met them was… interesting, to say the least. In the middle of the stage, their classmate Gosunkugi was tied up, wearing a girl's school uniform and wig meant to match Akane's hair.

Ranma had only recently been interacting with the boy. A few days earlier, he'd become aware that someone was spying on him, and it didn't take long to spot the culprit. It had seemed that Gosunkugi was looking for a weakness, and after a little digging, Ranma found out that he was infatuated with Akane. Her explanation of him was simple: "He's too shy to talk to me," she had explained. "I've tried to get him to open up, and maybe have a little fun together, but I never got through to him. And he's too late now."

In the present, they were transfixed by the sight of him trying to look like Akane. It was beyond comical. On the other, though…

"Hey, Ranma?"

"Yeah?"

"Just wondering about what kind of feelings you have for other boys. Do you find Gosunkugi as sexy in that dress as I do?"

Ranma grimaced. "_No!_"

"Darn. I was hoping you'd go for a three-way. Oh, well."

With that, they approached the stage and started untying the boy, who seemed confused by their lack of response. Akane stood in front of him. "So, Hikaru-kun," she said. "Looking kinda sexy in that dress, but I'm engaged now, so the most I'm going to do with you is look. Of course, the reason we're here in the first place is that note you left for Ranma…"

The mention of Ranma's name seemed to jolt Gosunkugi out of his stupor. He jumped and turned to Ranma. "You've fallen into my trap, Saotome!" he screeched, reaching up and yanking on a rope that hung from above. Immediately, the floor opened up… under Akane. Thanks to her martial arts skills, she wasn't hurt by the fall, but landed deftly on the floor below.

Ranma gave the other boy a sideways look. "You didn't plan this very good, did you?" he drawled. Gosunkugi brightened. "Yes I did!" he screamed, pulling another rope. A sandbag flew down, catching the pale boy in the back of the head and throwing him into the pit. Ranma hopped down after him.

He and Akane stared down at the boy on the floor, who was struggling to get out from under the sandbag. Akane kicked at his skirt and peeked underneath, nodding with a smirk as she saw only underwear beneath it. Ranma rolled his eyes; she glanced his way and clasped her hands together in a silent plea. He shook his head.

Gosunkugi threw the sandbag aside and looked up. "I guess it's all over for me," he chuckled nervously, reaching into his blouse. "I want you… to have… this!" He yanked something out and tossed it to Ranma, who stared in shock at what it was— fish sausage.

Akane looked at Ranma, then back to Gosunkugi. "You know about…" she muttered, then turned fierce. "Oh, forget the dress. Not only is every ounce of sexiness in you gone, but I'm going to smack you around good for this little stunt."

A chorus of meows began to echo from around them, and Ranma began to visibly sweat. Cats, at least a hundred, padded out of the shadows, most of them licking their lips. Akane grabbed hold of Ranma, who shuddered as he looked around. Squaring his shoulders, he faced Gosunkugi.

"You… fool…" he croaked. "You… think… you… can… scare… me… this… easy?" He began to laugh, though Akane could already sense that he was barely holding it together. Afraid he'd faint, she decided that they needed to get out, and fast. She tugged on his arm and started leading him toward the nearest door.

Gosunkugi managed to find a voice. "Akane," he said softly, "you shouldn't…"

"Fuck off, Gosunkugi."

She yanked the door open, and found herself face-to-face with a tiger that stood almost as tall as she did. It stared, letting out a breath that Akane felt on her face. She slowly turned to look behind her. "A tiger?" she asked. "You put a tiger in here? Are you out of your damn mind?!"

"I thought it would scare Saotome…"

"It would scare anybody, you twat!"

The tiger, seemingly annoyed with the people in the room, let out a sudden roar. While it caused the three teens to jump, it also scared the scores of cats still in the room, and they chose Ranma to cling to in their fright. Akane also clung to Ranma, terrified at what the presence of the cats would do to him. Visions flashed through her mind of the tiger eating an unconscious Ranma off of the floor. She was soon confused, though, when he let out a low growl and started sinking down to his knees.

He leaped forward, down on all fours, and squared off with the tiger. It was obviously confused at first, but quickly became terrified as Ranma sprang, swiping at it like a cat fighting. The two bodies rolled around for a moment, before the tiger broke free and ran for its life, with Ranma on its heals. They flew through the gym, disrupting kendō practice and plowing into Kuno, sending him flying. They raced out a door that lead outside. Akane gave Gosunkugi one last dirty look and headed out after them.

She gave chase, and soon caught up to Ranma, who was perched in a tree, scratching his ear with his foot. She stopped and stared. "Ranma?" she said, squinting at him. He responded by looking, licking the back of his hand, and using it to groom his hair.

"Words can't reach him," a voice said behind her. She turned to see Genma staring up at his son. "When Ranma's fear of cats gets overwhelming," he continued, "he can only escape his fear by becoming a cat himself."

Akane looked around at the other students, who were now watching with some interest. "Well fix it!" she whispered harshly. "He's embarrassing himself in front of the whole school! He'll be mortified when he gets his mind back!"

"The only way he ever snapped out of it was by the touch of an old lady that lived in the village nearby."

"So send for her!"

"She's dead."

Akane slapped a palm to her face.

"I shall have to do." With that, he quickly made himself up as a very unconvincing old woman, and at that moment, Akane discovered that not every man in a dress could look enticing. Genma leaped into the tree… and came falling back to earth a moment later, covered all over with scratches. He dragged himself away.

Ranma stopped and stared down at Akane, then leaped. She braced for an impact, but it wasn't harmful. He knocked her on her butt and curled up in her lap. She stared at him for a moment, then at the students standing around and staring. "Ranma?" she whispered, hoping that she could possibly get his mind back in the clear. Instead, he responded with a cat kiss on her lips, then settled back to her lap.

There was something incredibly cute about it, and the pink tinge on her cheeks made that obvious to everyone. She was still worrying, though, that he would be angry at himself once he realized how he'd acted in front of so many students. She needed to get him to a private location right away.

She slipped out from under him and took hold of his collar. "C'mon kitty," she said, giving him a tug. He started following, still on all fours, and she broke into a run, leading him back to the building. He sprinted after her. She ran through an open door, and slammed it shut after him.

She looked around the room as Ranma sat, grooming himself again. They were in a storage room of some type. Perfect. Now successfully out of sight of the other kids, she slumped to the floor. "How am I going to get your mind back?" she muttered to him, as he hopped back into her lap.

She mindlessly rubbed his head like she were petting a real cat, and he purred in response. After a moment, her hand wandered down to his hip, and his purring got louder. A quick glance told her that he was enjoying the touch in the same way he would in his normal mindset.

Like a bolt of lighting, an idea hit her. A way to get his brain back. She didn't know if it would work, but it would be fun to try. Something similar worked on her, after all. And either way, it could show that his phobia had an upside to it.

Lifting him up, she started unbuttoning his shirt. Like a real cat, as soon as he figured out what clothes were, he wanted out of them, and he shed the shirt without much prompting. She got his undershirt off next, then his shoes, pants, and boxers. He started to curl up naked on her, but she kept him back as she quickly started removing her uniform.

A moment later, he sat staring at her naked body with a look of curiosity on his face. She smirked and got down on all fours, doing her best to present herself like a female cat might. "C'mon, Ranma," she muttered. "It's worth a shot. And you'll have a good time either way." He walked up to her and tapped her hip, like a cat batting something with a paw.

"That's it," Akane whispered. Ranma sat back, then, like a cat attacking, pounced on her back. She let out a squeal of joy.

:-:-:-:-:

About ten minutes later, Ranma abruptly came back to his senses, and stopped to figure out where he was. He was naked, with no memory of becoming that way, and laying on the floor of an unfamiliar room. He rolled over, and gasped. A few feet away, Akane lay motionless and facing away from him. Her back was covered with scratches, and her shoulders with very noticeable bite marks. Blood ran from several of the deeper wounds. He reached a hand out and touched her gently. "Akane?" he asked, the fear evident in his voice.

She rolled over slowly, laying on her back and closing her eyes, a look of bliss on her face. "Just when I thought you couldn't make me any happier," she muttered, sounding dazed, "you go and do something like that. That was incredible. I've never had it that rough in my entire life."

His jaw dropped. "You're bleeding!"

"It happens sometimes when you play rough." She opened her eyes, looked his way, and sat up, still in a fog. "I don't know what you call it," she said, "but you were in cat mode. I figured having sex as a cat might snap you out of it. I was right. Though it would've been worth it either way."

He paled. "Did people see me like that?"

Her fog seemed to lift, and she gave him a sorrowful gaze. "A lot of people. I got you away as fast as I could, but not fast enough. You were up a tree for a few minutes."

He groaned and covered his face.

"You kissed me, too. I don't know if you knew it was me, or if you're affectionate to everybody like that."

He sat up. "I don't think I've ever done that to anybody before. Pop always made it sound like I was hostile to people. Then again, I don't usually remember what happens when I'm in the cat-fist."

"Cat-fist," she muttered, rubbing her chin. "I wonder if you've ever made it with a real cat when you were like that…"

"I sure hope not!"

"Yeah, bestiality's too far, even for me. Though you can mount _me_ like that any time." She stood, and started picking up her uniform.

Ranma stared at what he'd done to her. "We'd better stop by Doctor Tofu's clinic. You're pretty tore up."

"Not a bad idea. Don't want any scars, after all. You going to be okay with everybody seeing you like that?"

"No." He stood, looking dejected. "Now everybody thinks I'm a freak, and everybody knows my weakness. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Hey, we're a team, remember? I have your back if you lose control. Besides, you chased off a tiger. If anything, trying to exploit your weakness will get anyone fighting you torn to pieces. And as for being embarrassed…" She tossed her blouse on, wincing from the scratches as she did. "You're the best fighter in this school. Easily. You could do a lot worse than act like a cat and still sit on top of the social pyramid." They headed for the door.

A few minutes later, they were in Tofu's clinic, and the doctor was looking at her back with some degree of surprise. "Akane!" he said, concerned. "This is bad! Even for you! What on earth caused this?!"

"If Ranma gets around cats, he becomes so frightened that he thinks he is one. I decided to try having sex with him while he was like that."

"Oh, cat-fu training?"

Ranma slapped himself on the forehead. "How is my dad the only one who doesn't know about these things?!"

Akane nodded. "He's a little rough when he's like that, but I kinda liked it rough. You should know that, Doctor Tofu. It's the only sex related things I've come to you about. I use protection. I've never had VD."

"Yeah, but in the past it was rug burn. Or that one time you separated your shoulder." Ranma spun around to stare at her. "But I can handle this," Tofu continued. "I'll give you some balm to rub on it and you'll be fine."

He stepped out of the room, whistling as he went. Ranma scooted closer to her. "Separated shoulder?" he whispered.

"Not what you're thinking. Take my advice— don't play with yourself when you're laying on the roof. One good orgasm and your balance is out the window. I really learned my lesson that time."

"Unbelievable."

Outside, Tofu was receiving a package with a Chinese return address on it. "Looks like it's from that Shampoo girl that worked for me a few months ago," he muttered, then turned it over, looking with confusion at a large hole in the bottom. He looked inside. "Empty," he said. "What in the world could this be about?"

He didn't notice the purple and white cat, which padded up to the windowsill and hopped out the window.

* * *

><p>Ranma eased himself into the bath. The warm water felt good— his father had been kind enough to bounce him off the house during training that morning. Then, Akane somehow wound up in the mood in the middle of the day at school and insisted on a quickie in the janitor's closet. He certainly didn't mind <em>that<em>, but it hadn't made his ribs feel any better…

At least the other students hadn't given him any problems with his weakness. While he was afraid of being teased, the word of his fighting the tiger had spread as well, and most students now believed him to be dangerously insane, keeping a distance at all times. Those that he'd already befriended, like Hiroshi and Daisuke, seemed to accept his explanations, and didn't press the issue further.

"Meow?"

He froze, turning his gaze to the windowsill, where a small purple and white cat stared down at him. "C-cat…" he muttered, starting to shrink back. It jumped into the water, and he let out a scream.

Moments before, Akane was slipping into the outer bath. She spotted his clothes, and grinned. "Oh, how I love surprising him in the bath!" she said mirthfully. She tossed her blouse down, then paused in her bra and jeans, admiring her figure in the mirror. She still got a lot of looks, and was quickly finding out that she got a perverse kick out of turning men down. For some reason, denying men what they lusted after gave her a sadistic pleasure.

"Maybe I should be a dominatrix…" she muttered, wiggling her hips.

"Yaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" She jumped at the sound of a scream from the inner bath. She ran to the door and threw it open, just as a very familiar purple-haired Chinese girl broke the surface of the bath water and wrapped Ranma in a tight embrace. A few months ago, Akane had taken an adversarial stance with the girl, but since then, she continually regretted not trying harder to work something out. As such, her reaction was simple.

"Shampoo's back!" she gushed, then broke into a run. Shampoo turned and stared in shock as Akane ran in and jumped into the bath fully clothed, latching onto the girl's back and sandwiching her against Ranma. "You get off Shampoo, pervert girl!" Shampoo shrieked. "Shampoo know Ranma is real man! She take husband once and for all!"

"Uh-uh," Akane replied. "I'm not giving up on getting a three-way with you. I'll change your mind if it's the last thing I do!"

"Shampoo no want fun with girl! She here for husband!"

Akane reached under the water, grabbed hold of a familiar part of Ranma's body, and tried to align it with Shampoo's body. "Come on," she said seductively, "just start on Ranma and I'll rub your nipples from behind."

"Get off of Shampoo!" the Chinese girl shrieked.

She struggled, but couldn't initially find the strength to free herself from Akane's tight grip. Then, Akane started fondling her breast, and the effect was twofold. First, with one arm barely on her and the other reaching between her legs, Shampoo had an opportunity to squeeze loose. More importantly, her disgust caused her adrenaline to kick in. With a lurch, she managed to squeeze out from between them. She knelt at the side of the bath and paused to smile at Ranma. "Shampoo come back for airen later!" she said cheerfully, then gave Akane a dirty look and jumped out the window.

Akane stood and watched her run across the yard. "That girl's ass is unbelievable," she said in wonder. "I sure hope she lets up on the no-girl thing." She plopped down next to Ranma. "Well," she said, "since she's not coming back… want to help me out of these wet clothes?"

Ranma stared straight ahead. "_Anything_ to get my mind off that crazy girl…"

* * *

><p>The next day, Ranma and Akane arrived home from school and found a startling scene awaiting them— Shampoo setting out a feast of ramen in the washitsu. Soun, Kasumi, and Nabiki were already digging in, while Ranma stammered as he tried to think of a decent response.<p>

He didn't have to, though. No sooner had he begun to process what was happening, when the shriveled form of an old woman popped out and pointed at him. "Be a man!" the old woman croaked. "Marry Shampoo!"

"And who are _you?_"

Shampoo gestured. "Is Shampoo's great-grandmama!"

"Well, it doesn't matter who she is!" Ranma spat. "I ain't marrying you, no matter who you send here to convince me!"

For the first time, the scowl on Shampoo's face was directed at Ranma and no one else. She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the room, down the hall in the direction of the furoba. Akane chased after them. Once inside, Shampoo yanked off her cheongsam, revealing to Ranma and Akane that she didn't wear anything underneath. She grabbed the shower handle and held it above her head, staring daggers back at him. His jaw dropped.

"Wait a minute!" he gasped. "Put your clothes back on! What are you trying to—"

He stopped abruptly as Shampoo turned the cold water on… and promptly transformed into a damp furball on the floor. Ranma stared at the feline and started to sink to the floor, shaking with fright, while Shampoo nonchalantly hopped onto the side of the furo and jumped into the warm water, reemerging as a girl.

"This is _your_ fault!" Cologne barked, hopping in through the window. "If you would've married Shampoo in the first place, she never would've ended up training at Jusenkyo."

"So I guess you know what gender Ranma is," Akane said.

Cologne nodded. "As soon as Shampoo described his supposed admission that he was a girl in disguise, I knew exactly what was going on. And that means that from the beginning, he was an outside male that defeated her, and he was bound by law to marry her." She looked to Ranma. "What's so difficult about marrying Shampoo like the law demands? It's your stubbornness that started all of this!"

"No, it's hers!" Akane protested, pointing an accusing finger at Shampoo, who was still sitting in the bath. "I told her that both of us would be happy to have some company in the bedroom, but she keeps refusing to do anything with me around! If she would just agree to play around with both of us, she could do anything to Ranma she wants!"

Cologne stammered for a moment, giving Akane a confused look. "Being a plaything in the bedroom hardly fulfills the Amazon definition of marriage, young lady."

"Oh yeah? Good luck getting Ranma to agree to marry someone who won't screw him when he's a girl."

"You lie!" Shampoo shouted. "Ranma no like being a girl!"

Akane raised an eyebrow, then grabbed the shower. Ranma started to protest, but was silenced as a blast of cold water to the face turned him to the redheaded girl that had beaten Shampoo back in China. As the Amazons watched, Shampoo in horror and Cologne out of curiosity, Akane yanked Ranma's shirt open, pushed her down, and started roughly kissing and sucking on her breast. Ranma let out a shriek as she instantly lost the will to argue, only to moan in disappointment as Akane stopped and sat up. She yanked Ranma upright.

She turned Ranma to face Shampoo, and shoved her forward. "Your turn," she said to Shampoo. "Show me how much you want to satisfy Ranma's needs. Or are you inadequate?" Shampoo turned and looked at Cologne, who shook her head. "Shampoo," she said, "get dressed and follow me. We'll retrieve the dishes later." She disappeared out the window. Shampoo nodded and rose from the bath, which Akane met with a whistle of approval. Shampoo glared, retrieved her cheongsam, and retreated out the window.

Outside, Shampoo put the dress on, and she and Cologne started walking. Cologne glanced her way. ``Shampoo,`` she said, ``we have a serious problem. Am I correct in assuming that she was the girl who'd put her hands on you more than once?``

``Yes! She's the one I told you about. She's a kind of challenger I've never seen before. Rather than try to fight me off because she wants Ranma all to herself, she tries very hard to pull me into the relationship that they already have. She didn't get hostile toward me until I kept turning her down. Oh, and something about a pig. I didn't understand that at all.``

``Therein lies our problem, child. Ranma is a teenage boy. Teenage boys are inherently perverted. You could bet all the tea in China that as soon as he got over the shock of being cursed, he started playing with the new girl parts. All boys are like that. Every one of them dreams of having a girl just like her.``

``So?``

``So tearing them apart won't be easy. Say we were to kidnap him in the middle of the night and whisk him off to Nyuchiezu. As soon as he realized what was happening, he'd fight us tooth and nail to get back to her. I don't mean just pouting a little; I mean we'd have to trap him in a cave to keep him subdued. And you can forget making children with him. Nothing you could do could entice him after what he's already seen.`` She rubbed her temples. ``I came here thinking I could coerce him by trapping him in his cursed form. I was going to use the full-body cat's tongue to make him sensitive to the hot water. But it won't work. He wouldn't mind being trapped as a girl, and neither would that self-proclaimed fiancée of his. What's her name again?``

``Akane Tendo.``

``Akane. If you want to get Ranma to follow you peacefully, you're going to have to convince him you're more of a pervert than she is.``

Shampoo's jaw dropped. ``You want me to go along with their three-way thing?``

Cologne shook her head. ``That won't work. He'd enjoy having two girls at once and wouldn't want to lose either of you. That doesn't help us. He has to be monogamous to you after we get him to China.``

``Then what do I do?``

``Exactly the kinds of things she does, but without her around. Put your hands on him when he's a girl. Do some kind of kinky surprise role-play, or… something. Maybe even take him to one of these strip clubs that are everywhere and join in with the girls that work there. Anything that a hormonal adolescent might like.``

``But great-grandmother! I don't act like that! That's not me!``

``I know, child, I know. But you're not going to get him any other way. For starters, you have to figure out exactly what that Akane girl _does_ do to him, so prepare for some reconnaissance that will likely be more disgusting than anything you've ever seen before.``

``I hate my life.``

``You're a warrior, Shampoo. You can face a little challenge like this.``

Shampoo made a face but said nothing.

* * *

><p>The next day, Shampoo tiptoed up to the window of an unfamiliar house. She'd followed Ranma and the Tendo girl there, along with another boy that she didn't recognize. She'd sought out a window based upon the sound of footsteps, and found herself looking into the furoba as shadows of Ranma and the other boy appeared on the shōji leading in.<p>

The door slid open a moment later, and she found herself licking her lips as the two naked boys walked into the room. Ranma's body was simply perfect. He could be the prototype for men everywhere. And the other boy… he wasn't bad, either.

She was expecting the two boys to get in the bath together. It came as quite a shock, therefore, when they began passionately kissing, pawing at each other while while using a noticeable amount of tongue. It didn't escape her notice when the shōji slid open a few inches and Akane's face appeared, though even if she hadn't noticed right away, the girl's loudly falling to the floor as soon as the new boy went after Ranma's neck was anything but discreet.

Their wrestling brought them next to the shower. With a twinkle in his eye, the other boy grabbed it and doused Ranma, turning him into his familiar redheaded form. The Chinese girl cringed as the chiseled male body she was ogling morphed into the female one that didn't attract her one bit.

It was Ranma's turn to be cheeky, and with a shower blast, Ranma's playmate was a small black pig on the floor. Shampoo slapped a hand to her mouth at the sight. ``_That's_ why they got so mad about the pork dinner!`` she muttered to herself. ``That was their perverted playmate with a Jusenkyo curse!`` Ranma sank to the floor and spread her legs, and the pig dove in. Shampoo barely managed to watch as it did something that no real pig would ever figure out.

It was a full three hours later when Cologne looked up to see her great-granddaughter reenter the restaurant. Shampoo was noticeably pale, walking slowly, with one eye half-closed and twitching. She slumped into a seat, and Cologne fixed her in a gaze.

``So, Xian-Pu. What did you learn?``

Shampoo slowly turned to face her, wearing the expression of a soldier with shell-shock. ``I found Ranma and the Tendo girl walking with another boy. They all went to a house and inside to the bath. Ranma and the other boy started kissing very roughly. The perverted girl watched through the door. Then the boy turned Ranma into a girl, and Ranma turned the boy into a pig. I guess that boy has a curse, too. And then Ranma sat on the floor and the pig stuck its tongue in…`` A full-body convulsion shook her.

Cologne was more than a little taken aback, but she had to know what they were up against. `` Go on.``

``So then after Ranma screeched and went limp like she was finished, Ranma turned himself back into a boy, and the other boy, too. And they went into the bedroom and the pervert girl went with them.`` She paused and took a breath. ``As I got to the window in the other room, Ranma was lying down on the bed face down, and Ryoga climbed on his back, and stuck his… ick… into Ranma's… ick… And after a few minutes they switched places and Ranma…`` She stopped as another tremor shook her. ``And that nasty perverted girl watched the whole time and… eek… touched herself.``

Cologne was starting to pale. ``Is that it?``

Shampoo shook her head. ``No. No, there's more.`` She stopped and closed her eyes, settling herself before she continued. ``After Ranma finished on the boy, he climbed off the bed, and the pervert girl climbed up, and had sex with the other boy. And Ranma sat and watched, and grabbed himself. And after that… Ranma got on the bed, the girl straddled him, and the other boy climbed on behind her. And they both had her at the same time in… different holes.`` She stopped and breathed heavily for a moment, as though she were about to lose her last meal. ``After they did that a while, the other boy went somewhere else, the toilet maybe, and Ranma ran out and came back a girl.``

``Oh, no.``

``And he made it with the pervert girl when _he_ was a girl. And the other boy came back, and the pervert girl and Ranma both jumped on him, and they all did it _again._ More ways than I want to remember. And then, finally…`` She stopped and took a breath. ``_Finally_, Ranma and the pervert girl put their clothes on and left. They went home. I didn't even watch what they did when they got inside. I just came back here.``

Cologne shook her head. ``It's worse than I could've imagined.``

Shampoo gave her a pleading look. ``Great-grandmother, please. If I have to watch one more minute of the stuff they do, I'll puke. Please tell me there's another way. Surely there's a way to disqualify Ranma because he's a pervert. I'm begging you. There is no way I could ever do the stuff they were doing. I could barely even stand to watch.``

Cologne sighed. ``You have to, Xian-Pu. There's no way around it. It's the law. Remember, you're a warrior. That means life will bring challenges, and you must meet those challenges. _Whatever_ they may be.``

Shampoo slumped. ``A warrior. I'm a warrior. I must.`` She buried her head in her arms, while Cologne gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder and headed for the kitchen.

``Japanese people…`` she muttered. ``Bunch of perverts…``

* * *

><p>The next morning came, and Ranma and Akane strolled through the gate at Furinkan. Akane had spent the whole night and morning musing over ways to get Shampoo into bed with them, and Ranma spent the whole time begging her to drop it.<p>

"Akane!" he protested. "She would never go willingly! If she ever _pretends_ to want anything with you, it will just be a trick to steal me away and go back to China. You remember what she pulled last time she was here!"

"She's cursed now. If she gets out of hand, a little cold water will stop her in her tracks."

"And send me into a fit because I saw a cat."

"No argument there. The cat sex was amazing."

"Akane!"

"What? It was! I wonder if you'd submit if you go into the cat-fist when you're a girl. Ryoga might have some fun with that."

"_Akane! __**Focus!**_ No matter what perverted stuff goes on between us and Ryoga, we can _never_ involve Shampoo! She's downright dangerous."

"If the sex is good, it'll tame her."

"It won't."

"Only one way to find out…"

Ranma rolled his eyes, and then stopped abruptly, as he sensed danger. He looked up and spotted someone flying down at them from above, and pushed Akane back as the person landed in front of them. It was a boy, about their age, with long black hair and glasses thick enough to hard-boil his eyeballs if he were to look into the sun. He looked at Ranma, then Akane, then back at Ranma.

"Shampoo!"

He wrapped Ranma in a hug, nearly squeezing his guts out. Ranma dispelled him with a foot to the face. "And who are you calling 'Shampoo'?" he asked, immediately irritated by the arrival of someone else who was potentially involved with the Amazons.

The boy adjusted his glasses, squinted at Ranma, then shoved him away. He put his hands on Akane, then pulled her into a soft embrace. "Shampoo," he whispered. Akane rolled her eyes. "I'm not Shampoo, either," she said, "and my fiancé isn't going to be happy with you rubbing on me like that."

He backed up and squinted at her. "Oh," he replied simply. He released her and started cleaning his glasses, only to have Ranma land on his head. "And who are you, anyway?" Ranma asked.

"I am Mousse," he said. "The man who is to be Shampoo's groom."

Ranma brightened. "Somebody to get rid of her?!"

Akane leaned close. "Would you let Shampoo have a three-way with another couple, on the condition that you got a three way with the girl from that couple?"

Mousse backed away, causing Ranma to fall from atop him. He put his glasses back on and looked at the two who'd been addressing him. "Who…" he began, but was interrupted by a familiar pair of voices.

"Mousse!"

"Mousse! What are _you_ doing here?" Cologne bounced next to him on her staff, with Shampoo close behind. The old woman fixed him in a gaze. "You were spurned by Shampoo already! You can't have her!"

"But we were three!"

"It still counts!" She motioned to Ranma. "_This_ man is to be Shampoo's husband!"

"But I don't want her!" Ranma cried.

"It doesn't matter! It's the law!"

Mousse squared off with Ranma. "Isn't that other girl your fiancée?"

"Yes! I want _her!_ Not Shampoo!"

"_I_ want both of them," Akane said nonchalantly.

"Enemy of all women!" Mousse spat, rushing at Ranma. "I'll teach you!"

"But…"

"Swan-fist!"

Ranma jumped to dodge the strike, but in an unusual miscalculation, took a hit and was sent flying. Akane rushed to him and helped him as he struggled to his feet. She squinted in Mousse's direction. "He must have a weapon," she said. "You were way out of his reach."

"Be careful!" Shampoo called. "Mousse is master of hidden weapons!"

Ranma grinned. "Then I know what to do," he said, and leaped at the other boy. There was a flurry of movement, and they both stopped abruptly as Mousse swung and Ranma clamped onto something in his hands. It was a toilet-training potty.

Ranma reddened in anger, insulted by Mousse's move. He threw it down, and Mousse smirked.

"There," the blind boy said. "Now will you fight?"

"You bet I will!"

"Very well. If I win…"

Cologne popped up. "You can't have Shampoo!"

Mousse scowled. "Very well. If I win…" He pointed at Akane. "I'll take _your_ woman!"

Akane let out a condescending chuckle. "Like I'm afraid," she said. "Go ahead, Ranma. You won't lose."

Ranma smirked. "Fine," he said. "It's a bet. Let's do this!"

* * *

><p>That night, Mousse slid open the window to Akane's bedroom. He was met by the sight of Ranma, in cursed form, curled up with Akane in bed. He gave them a confused look, not recognizing Ranma as a girl, before reaching into his stash and tossing some powder on their faces. "To make sure neither of you wake up," he muttered.<p>

He pulled the covers back, and immediately had to fight a nosebleed, as both girls were naked. He wrapped Akane in a sheet and tossed her over his shoulder. "And _this_," he said, "is to make sure that Ranma doesn't back out." He tossed a piece of paper onto the pillow next to the sleeping redhead, and jumped out the window, racing off into the night.

* * *

><p>Akane awoke a few hours later, feeling a bit groggy, and immediately noticed her new surroundings. Mousse had her locked in a cage of some sort, small enough that he'd curled her into a ball to fit her inside. With some difficulty, she managed to get herself turned to where she could see through the door.<p>

She was in something that looked like a tent pavilion for a circus or carnival. The canvas sides of the thing were unmistakable. She was in some sort of storage area; the cage that held her was on top of a crate, and multiple other crates were stacked around. A dim light came from somewhere above her.

She heard a sound, and a moment later, Mousse walked into view. She gave him a harsh look. "Why don't you start listing reasons why I shouldn't cut your dick off?" she growled. "I went to bed next to Ranma, and was planning on waking up that way!"

"Ranma? You were in bed with a woman when I took you."

"He has a Jusenkyo curse, you dolt! You know, like the girl you chased here after?"

"Oh."

"Moron." She shifted in the cage. "So why exactly do you want to fight my fiancé?"

"I can't believe you would still call him that, after what he's done with my Shampoo."

If Akane could have moved her hands far enough, she would've facepalmed. "He hasn't done _anything_ with Shampoo. He doesn't want her! _I_ told him to go for it. I wanted a three-way. But _she_ won't agree to it because she insists on following your dumb marriage law. I don't think she likes girls, either, but she had better get over _that_ if she's going to try to win him over. He's used to getting it as a girl, too."

"I'm glad I won't have to keep you after I win…"

"Bite me."

He rolled his eyes.

"Listen. I would love to play around with her myself, but if Ranma doesn't want her around, and she's not interested, either, then just take her. She's not doing us any good right now."

"The only way I'm going to convince Shampoo to see me as a man is to defeat the guy she thinks is so great, and that's what I plan to do. But don't worry, I have no plans on keeping you after I win. He can have you, and Shampoo will be mine."

"Then why am I here?"

"Insurance." He turned and walked out of the room.

Akane rolled her eyes, and looked around at the cage that was holding her. She noticed something right away— it was an animal carrier. The latch was one that required squeezing two tabs to open; while it was safe for animals, it could easily be opened by a human. She struggled and managed to get an arm in front of her. Stretching her fingers through the wire mesh of the door, she popped the latch open. "Moron," she muttered, stepping out.

She tiptoed in the direction that Mousse had left, and, peeking through the slit of a door, saw him laying on a pile of straw in the next room over. She glanced behind her and saw another exit. It meant not having to try to sneak past him, so she made her way through.

She found herself at a dead end— the room turned out to be a dressing room, with various costumes hanging on racks all around. She was about to turn back when something caught her eye— a cheongsam like the ones Shampoo always wore. And laying amongst various props was a blue wig that almost perfectly matched the girl's hair. She picked it up. The two items together wouldn't convince any normal person that she was actually a certain crazy Amazon, but Mousse's eyesight hardly made him a normal person. A devious smirk crossed her features.

A moment later, Mousse awoke to an unexpected sight— Shampoo, or what looked to be Shampoo, kneeling next to him and shaking him. He jumped to his feet. "Shampoo!" he said in surprise, then began speaking a long string of Chinese. Akane grimaced; in her hasty planning, she'd forgotten that they were native Chinese and likely used their own language when they were alone. She thought quickly.

Slap!

"Mousse! We in Japan! Speak Japanese!" She hoped that her impersonation was good enough.

Mousse looked sheepish. "Of course." His expression turned to confusion. "But what are you doing here, Shampoo? I thought you wanted me to leave you alone. I was fighting Ranma to convince you!"

"Shampoo no love Ranma. She no want to be forced to marry." She did her best to seem hopeful. "You take Shampoo back to China, yes?"

Mousse lit up like a Christmas tree. "Oh, Shampoo, do you mean it?" he gushed, then wrapped her in a bone-crushing embrace. "Oh, Shampoo!"

She squirmed uncomfortably.

"Shampoo, have you gained weight?"

_Slap!_

Mousse looked up from his new position on the floor. "S-sorry, Shampoo. You're beautiful." Akane rolled her eyes and headed for daylight, with Mousse rushing after her.

Outside, they appeared to be at some sort of fairgrounds, with muddy, trampled grass in between large tents and food stalls. Extension cords and water hoses snaked in all directions. She needed one more thing for her plan to work, and all that would take was a phone call. She worried that they would have to walk some distance in order for her to find a phone, but after a moment, she spied what she needed— a small brick restroom building with pay phones on the wall.

She shoved Mousse onto a bench. "Shampoo need bathroom," she said. "Mousse wait here." He nodded dumbly, and she raced off for the phones. A plain-looking man in his thirties stood near them, and she went to him.

"Excuse me, sir, could I have fifty yen? I need to use the phone."

He gave her a lecherous grin. "What's in it for me?"

She rolled her eyes; men could be downright predictable. With a nonchalant glance, she slid a hand up and unbuttoned the top few buttons of her dress. She tugged it open, causing both breasts to flop out. A line of blood trickled from the man's nose, and he dumbly reached into his pocket, pulling out a handful of coins and thrusting them at her. "Thanks," she said sarcastically, and grabbed the receiver of the nearest phone. She tucked it against her shoulder, putting coins in the phone with one hand while buttoning her dress with the other.

She heard ringing through the earpiece, and someone picked up. "Hi, Kasumi, it's me. Sorry if I woke you… Oh, okay. Wasn't sure what time it was… Mousse kidnapped me, but I'm about to take care of him for good… No, no, he didn't do anything like that… So could you go wake Nabiki up? Tell her it's very important." She waited patiently. Nabiki wasn't a morning person, and probably wouldn't be the most pleasant to deal with.

A very grumpy voice greeted her. "Nabiki? Hey, I need a loan, and I need you to bring it to me… If it wasn't important, I wouldn't have woke you up… I'm thinking twenty thousand yen ought to do it… Twenty thousand… Yes, I'm serious… Look, I'm at the fairgrounds and I'm going to be on a train for a while, so meet me at the station…"

A few minutes later, Akane was glancing around a train platform as a clueless Mousse remained at her side. So far, things were going without much difficulty— his excitement to whisk her off to China was preventing any further critical thinking, so she'd managed to lead him around with no arguments. After a moment, she spotted Nabiki walking down the street. Again commanding Mousse to wait, she jumped down. Nabiki jumped at the sight of her sister and her choice of costume.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?"

"Shampoo. Isn't it obvious?" She stuck her hip out. "And I have a way better butt for this kind of dress than the _real_ Shampoo. She wishes she could pull it off like I do."

"Whatever. What exactly is twenty thousand yen supposed to buy _me_?"

"One hour of lesbian sex video between me and Ranma. You have to film it, of course, but we can call this advance payment."

"And Ranma will go for this?"

"Oh, sure. He's getting way more open about these things. We've talked about letting you take some pictures or video already."

Nabiki shrugged, reached into her pocket, and thrust some money at her. "I'd warn you about stiffing me, but you already know how I work."

"Yeah, yeah." She gave Nabiki a hug. "Thanks, sis. This is a big help. You have no idea."

Nabiki blushed a bit. "Don't mention it."

"And I've told you before, if you ever want a little male companionship…"

"I don't want to have sex with your fiancé, Akane."

"Ryoga's single…"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'll keep that in mind," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Akane waved and leaped back to the train platform. Mousse, blind as he was, didn't seem to have realized which way she'd left, as he was looking around rather than in her direction. At that moment, the train rumbled into the station. She grabbed his arm and dragged him on board.

She wasn't looking forward to the trip. They had an hour or so on the train, and then her job still wasn't finished…

* * *

><p>An hour later, Akane was dragging the blind boy through her final destination— Haneda Airport, sitting right on the bay. At least the water looked pretty from their vantage point. Mousse had spent the entire train ride gushing about how their future would go, and in a way, she felt a bit bad for him. The only way the real Shampoo would ever have a fairytale future with him would be if he kept her sedated.<p>

On the plus side, his gushing meant she could stay quiet, lessening the chance that her lousy Shampoo impersonation would blow her cover.

They pushed their way along a jetway and into seats on a waiting plane. Mousse seemed confused, and she felt that a lack of explanation could destabilize her ruse. "Shampoo save money from restaurant," she said, remembering the girl's carryout from a few days earlier. "She no want to wait for boat to take us back." Mousse seemed satisfied with that explanation, but not so satisfied when she rose and told him she needed the bathroom again.

"Shampoo!" he said, sounding a bit frantic. "You keep leaving me alone! Now that we're finally together, I hate seeing you leave! Can't it wait for a few more minutes?"

In fact, it _couldn't_ wait a few more minutes, and she knew that she was at risk of blowing her plan at the last minute. She grimaced. "Ranma and I have a deal," she muttered to herself, "but I think he'll agree that this is an emergency situation." She turned to him, grabbed his head in her hands, and kissed him firmly on the lips.

It had the reaction she was hoping for— he went into a catatonic faint, motionless and seemingly unaware of their surroundings. She grinned at her handiwork, then quickly stood and pushed her way back to the exit. A flight attendant looked alarmed. "Ma'am," she said quickly, "the plane's about to depart!"

"Not a problem!" Akane called back, sprinting down the jetway. She made her way to the nearest window, watching with satisfaction as the plane backed away from the gate and started rolling toward the nearest taxiway.

* * *

><p>It was an hour and a half before Akane finally made it back home. Ranma was pacing nervously in the front hall, and jumped as he initially thought Shampoo had showed up again. He did a double take when he recognized her face.<p>

"Akane?"

She rubbed a hand seductively along his chest. "No is Akane. Is Shampoo. Ranma sleep with Shampoo, yes?"

"Why are you pretending to be Shampoo?"

She gave him a coy look. "Information come at price. You please Shampoo, and maybe she talk."

He looked her up and down. "Huh?"

"Surely Ranma want Shampoo's body without crazy stalking afterward…"

He smirked. No better way to live out a carnal fantasy than roleplay. "Okay, _Shampoo_," he said, a little sarcasm evident in his voice. She squealed with delight and raced up the stairs, and he simply enjoyed the view.

"The only way this is believable is if I pretend Shampoo's butt got nicer overnight…"

* * *

><p>Mousse stepped off the plane. He didn't know where he was, but the length of the plane ride seemed to suggest they'd badly overshot China. The door slammed shut behind him, and his panic level started to rise as he saw that Shampoo was nowhere in sight. He'd become increasingly worried when she never returned to her seat, but it hadn't occurred to him that she wasn't on the plane.<p>

He looked at the sign handing from the ceiling above him. It wasn't the Chinese or Japanese alphabet for sure, and he didn't understand what the strange letters said: "AUCKLAND"

He ran up to two men who were talking nearby. "Where the hell am I?" he cried in Japanese, and when they met his question with a blank stare, he repeated it in Chinese. The two men looked at each other.

"'Ey… d'you understand a word 'e's sayin'?"

"Nah, man. D'you?"

"Nah, mate. Ah think 'e's speakin' Chinese or somethin'…"

Mousse looked back and forth at them in a panic, before sprinting off into the terminal.

"_Shampoo!_"

* * *

><p><em>AN: I apologize for my horrible written representation of a New Zealand accent._


	8. Springggg

_A/N: Compucles recommended this storyline in a review a while back, and I couldn't resist. That review's a couple of years old… Geez, I update slowly…_

_As always, text in double-backticks (``like this``) is spoken Chinese between the Amazons._

* * *

><p>Akane crouched in the doorway, peeking into the washitsu where Ranma was watching television. With a grin, she pounced, landing in his lap and pinning him to the floor. She gave him a cheerful smile. "Hi!" she said jubilantly.<p>

"Hey, Akane. You sure enjoy jumping on me, don't you?"

She nodded gleefully. Also at the table was Kasumi, who had watched with the nonchalance of someone who had seen this sort of display many times before. Akane glanced up at her sister. "You don't mind us making out in front of you, do you, Kasumi?"

"It's fine," Kasumi replied in her typical cheerful tone.

Akane grinned. "You probably like watching us because you're single, huh?"

Kasumi's blush answered the question.

"You know," Akane continued, "you can borrow him if you want. I don't mind sharing with my sisters."

"Akane!" Ranma and Kasumi cried in unison.

"I offered to Nabiki, but she wouldn't go for it, either."

"_Akane!_" Ranma shrieked.

Kasumi glared at Akane, a rare bit of anger showing through, and Akane shrugged. "It's not like he didn't know you're a total hentai," she said. "He borrowed _your_ copy of his sex tape! Besides, he won't tell people. We both know you don't want all the people at the market looking at you funny."

Kasumi relented. "You're right. I can trust you both. But remember— I'm a one-man woman. I'm not interested in anything casual. Very sweet of you to offer, though."

"Oh, come on, you know you want to. You two look at each other all the time!"

By that point, Ranma was about to die of embarrassment. He tried to protest, but no words made their way out. The older girl's deeper blush confirmed Akane was telling the truth, but she still protested. "I'm not interested in somebody I can't have a permanent relationship with, Akane. I look, but don't touch."

"Is that just guys, or would you be a little more casual with a girl? We could always toss a little cold water on him."

The older girl's blush deepened even further. "Man _or_ woman, I want a relationship, not just gratification."

Ranma gave Akane a quizzical look. "Kasumi likes girls?"

"She's my sister, Ranma. You really thought she didn't? Why do you think she likes the public baths so much?"

Kasumi hid her face.

"We always have Ryoga," Akane said to her sister. "Though I'm guessing you wouldn't be interested in someone that already messes around with more than one person."

Kasumi looked up, embarrassment still tinging her face. "I never gave that much thought. I like older people. I want to find someone at least ten years older than me."

"Yeah, yeah. You've got a daddy complex or something. People like what they like." Kasumi hid her face again.

Before anyone else could speak, the sound of a bicycle bell came in from outside. Akane got up, but couldn't yank Ranma upright in time to get him to safety. A moment later, he was still on the floor, with a bicycle tire firmly atop his face.

Shampoo smiled down at him. "Nihao, airen!" she said cheerfully. She jumped off the bike and landed a few steps away, getting some distance after Akane seemed ready to make a move. She gave the girl a nasty glare, and Akane brightened as she appeared to have a revelation.

"Hey, Shampoo," she said sweetly, "I just had a great idea. Since you don't want to mess around with me and Ranma at the same time, how about I find you somebody else you can date? My sister here is single. She's a great cook; I bet you two could swap recipes!"

Kasumi seemed a bit interested, eyeballing the Chinese girl's figure. Shampoo looked more than a little uncomfortable, and glared at Akane. "Shampoo no like girls!" she spat. "How many times she have tell this to pervert girl?"

"I tried," Akane said in Kasumi's direction.

"It's okay," Kasumi replied. "You're younger than I prefer, anyway, Shampoo."

Shampoo stared at both of them, as though wondering why life was so bad to her. She shook her head and smiled at Ranma. "Shampoo have gift for airen!" she said with excitement.

"I don't want it."

Shampoo produced a metal tub and set it down, filling it with water from a bottle. "Shampoo think Ranma change his mind once he see this!" she replied. She pulled out a small packet, tore it open, and dumped its contents into the tub. She pulled out a small dog out of the bike's basket and tossed it in the water.

There was a moment of thrashing, and then, something emerged. It wasn't a dog; it was a boy, about their age, chewing on a milk bone. Shampoo grinned smugly, while the others in the room stared. "Ranma use this," Shampoo said, "and he be normal again!" Her look turned sinister. "Of course, no is free."

"I don't really want to get rid of my curse…"

"You get packet of instant spring first, _then_ decide. Shampoo make deal. You date with her and she give packet. Is okay?"

"Eh…" He glanced over his shoulder at his fiancée, but shouldn't have been surprised by her reaction, as he was met by the sight of her frantically gesturing for him to go for it. "Yeah, yeah, fine, Shampoo. We'll go on a date."

Shampoo squeezed him in an asphyxiating embrace, then grabbed the pan of water, tossed it on the back of the bike, and sped off. Ranma went back to Akane, who was curiously poking at the dog-turned boy, which sat naked on the table.

"Akane, if you're hoping for a three way with her…"

"She'll never let _me_ in," Akane responded, without looking up. "But I don't think I need to tell you how badly I want to watch you getting it on with another girl." She grinned at him.

"Aw, come on, Akane! That girl's nuts!"

"Doesn't make her any less female, does it? C'mon, she's all over you. Go for it!"

He facepalmed.

Akane squeezed the dog-boy's side, and it rolled onto its back. She started rubbing its belly. Kasumi not-so-indiscreetly examined the boy's parts. Akane brushed a hand against the boy's thigh. "Hey, Ranma. Any idea how to get a dog turned on?"

"_You're_ asking _me?!_"

"I'm not into animals. You know that. I thought maybe you had a pet dog at some point and noticed something."

"I haven't. And why do you want to know?"

She leaned close to him. "You don't want a playmate? Somebody for both of use to have a little fun with?"

He jumped to his feet. "Hey, wait a minute! I've never done anything with a guy besides Ryoga! And that kid isn't going to understand what's going on! He has a dog's brain!"

"Too bad," Kasumi muttered. Realizing she'd been heard, she slapped a hand over her mouth and blushed deeply.

Akane nodded. "Yeah, I figure you're right. I don't know what to do with him, though. We can't turn him back into a dog and let him loose. He'll turn into a boy as soon as it rains."

At that moment, a stray cat darted across the yard outside. Simultaneously, Ranma let out a shout, and the naked boy jumped up, as if to sprint away on his hands and feet. However, as a real dog in the situation would likely do, he sent everything on the table flying, including the tea set Kasumi had placed there earlier. One splash from the teapot was all it took for the boy to turn back into his original form. Now a dog, it raced out the door.

All three in the room lunged for it, and Ranma and Akane made a dash for the door, but stopped dead as the dog took a wrong turn and plopped into the koi pond. They stared in confusion as the still-canine animal swam to the edge of the pond and climbed out, shaking itself off.

"It's still…" Akane said.

"…a dog." Ranma finished. He knelt next to the dog and poked its head once, as if making sure there wasn't a mirage playing out in front of him. "It was fake. All of it was fake."

"It couldn't _all_ be fake," Akane replied. "The dog turned into a boy for sure. I don't know what happened, but _something_ was real. Maybe it only works once."

"Hmm…" He rubbed his chin. "I wonder what using a temporary spring of drowned boy on myself would do. Maybe it would lock the curse for a little while. That could come in handy from time to time."

"There you go. Now you have an excuse to go on that date."

"You just want to watch me and Shampoo go at it."

"And that." She gave him a sweet smile, and he groaned.

* * *

><p>That Saturday, Ranma sat on a bench in the park, drumming his fingers as he waited for Shampoo to arrive. It would most likely mean a bike tire to the face, but as much as he hoped to hear her coming, he'd never once managed to avoid her.<p>

He looked around. "Hey, Akane," he said aloud. "You're hiding somewhere, aren't you?" He nearly jumped out of his skin as two arms popped out of the bush behind him and landed around his neck. He looked back to see Akane in a camouflage shirt and pants.

"What are you supposed to be?" he asked. "You look like you're straight outta the JDF boot camp."

"Don't want to be noticed."

"Did you go out and buy all that stuff just for this?"

"Already had it, just in case." She kissed his cheek. "Enjoy yourself."

"I still don't really like the idea of…"

"Just touch her the way you'd touch me. You'll feel a lot better about it when you have a boob in each hand."

He started to reply, but she zipped back into the bushes. At that moment, he heard a bicycle bell. A moment later, he was flat on his back, a tire planted firmly between his eyes.

"Hello, Shampoo."

She beamed down at him as she removed the bike from his face. "Airen!" she said cheerfully. "Now is time for date, yes?"

He sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Let's go."

She jumped on him and wrapped him in an embrace. His first instinct was to escape, but he remembered his reason for being there, plus the amount of joy it would bring his lurker fiancée. He certainly didn't care for Shampoo, but he loved Akane, and if she wanted him to give it up for Shampoo, he'd do it.

She pulled away. "Come," she said. "We have picnic."

A while later, they were reclining on a picnic blanket, having finished the pork buns Shampoo had brought. She may have been crazy, but he had to admit, she could cook. If only he had a way of transferring her one good feature to Akane— it was Akane's only weakness, after all.

Shampoo leaned against him. "Ranma want cuddle Shampoo, yes?"

"Uh…" She started feeling his chest, and he shuddered. "Yeah… fine… Shampoo."

She put her face close to his. "Shampoo think Ranma want good girl. Girl that no act like pervert. Girl that no want other people in bedroom."

"Ah… well… I dunno…"

Before he could say anything else, she grabbed him around the neck and shoved her lips against his. As much as he was feeling irritated to have to deal with her, the kiss wasn't bad. Suddenly, the whole date idea didn't seem quite so disturbing.

Akane surely knew he'd start liking it as soon as they kissed. No doubt about it; she knew it the whole time.

Shampoo pulled back. "Ranma like feel of Shampoo's lips?" she asked seductively.

"Um… sure."

She put her lips back to his, swinging a leg over and straddling him. He had to admit, he was really starting to like the physical part. She definitely seemed to have less practice at kissing than Akane; for all he knew, she'd never done it before. Still, the feeling of her body against his was making him want a _lot_ more.

All of a sudden, the strangest thought crossed his mind. How much fun would it be to 'break her in'? To be the person who introduced her to the world of physical affection. The first person she would touch. The first person to make her scream with pleasure. Just like Akane had been to him.

The thought hit him like a lightning bolt— he'd turned into Akane.

It was still a new experience for him, though. He needed to move things further along to see if his new found comfort remained. He had to make sure it wasn't just a moment of confidence that would drift away. He slipped his tongue into the kiss.

She jumped a bit; he'd apparently caught her by surprise, but she certainly didn't seem bothered by it. And to his surprise, the more they did, the more he wanted. The thought of taking her right there on the picnic blanket with Akane watching from the bushes seemed a lot more enjoyable than it had ten minutes before.

He was never going to doubt Akane again.

He slid his hands up and gave her butt a gentle squeeze. She moaned and started muttering Chinese. He couldn't understand any of it, but it sure sounded sexy. He pulled away from her lips and gave her neck a gentle suck, and and her soft moans turned into passionate cries. She started to go for the buttons on his shirt, then stopped, pushing herself away from him. On her face was the look of a person restraining themself with every ounce of willpower they could muster.

"Shampoo, ah… Shampoo want take things slow," she said. "Get to know airen more… slow."

He stared at her pained expression for a moment. "You don't look like you really mean that."

He rubbed one of her knees, and she closed her eyes, as though his slight touch was going to push her over the edge. She slid back further, putting herself out of arms reach. "It no… we… Shampoo…" She stopped and seemed to be searching for words. "Shampoo no want move too fast."

He shook his head. The tone of her words wasn't the slightest bit convincing. In fact, her demeanor seemed to suggest she wanted it as bad as Akane would've in the same situation. It was undoubtedly part of some larger plan to drag him away from Akane, but from his perspective, he had no reason not to play along. "Yeah, okay," he replied. "I guess we can worry about it later on."

Shampoo's face lit up, and he chuckled inwardly. She surely thought she'd driven a wedge in his relationship with Akane, not realizing his whole purpose was to make Akane happy. "We had a deal for this date, though," he said. "You're supposed to give me some of that instant spring stuff."

She smiled sweetly. "Shampoo remember," she replied. She reached into her shirt and removed a packet, thrusting it at him. "She hope Ranma still want date Shampoo even if she no have gift."

He eyeballed her figure. "Absolutely."

She stood quickly. "Shampoo need get back to work at restaurant now. She see Ranma again soon." She snatched the picnic items up, including yanking the blanket out from under him and leaving him sprawled on his back. She squeezed everything into the basket on her bike, while he stood up. Just as she finished cleaning up, he put a hand on her waist. Apparently she was barely containing herself, as her response was to nearly tackle him and lock him in a deep kiss, before she again forced herself away.

"Airen see Shampoo again," she said, her voice a bit shaky. "Very soon." She hopped on the bike and pedaled away. He looked around. "Where ya at, Akane?" he said, not particularly loudly, as she was certainly very close. He jumped as arms fell over his shoulders from behind.

"Enjoy yourself?" she asked, giving him a squeeze.

"Wasn't as creeped out as I thought I was gonna be. I guess you expected that, huh?"

"Yep." She kissed his neck. "You liked the idea of breaking her in, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome. But listen… don't do stuff like this if it makes you uncomfortable. You don't have to go that far just to make me happy. Especially after all the Ryoga stuff. I don't want you to feel pressured into anything. If anything I ever ask for is too much, say so."

"I would've stopped if I really didn't want any of it. Once we started fooling around, I kinda got into it."

"Are you going to take her out on some more 'dates' to try and get a little further?"

He scratched his head. "Sure. I mean, if you want me to."

"I want you to do _everything_ to that girl." She took her hands off his shoulders and squeezed his rear with both hands. "I definitely enjoyed watching you feel her up. Did you like how her ass felt?"

"Meh. Not as nice as yours. She doesn't have any hips."

She spun around and stood in front of him. "I know what I'm going to be thinking about later on. But for now, we should look into that packet."

He held the packet up and squinted at it. "Looks like something you'd buy in a store. Printed by machine, you know?"

She nodded. "Somebody at the library might be able to translate it. Maybe it's something you can buy mail-order. Assuming it works more than once, of course. If it only works once, wears off, and never works again, it's kinda useless."

He grinned. "But if it works every time, it might keep me a guy around water. For however long it lasts."

"And it would let _me_ turn into a boy."

"Right, it… wait… _WHAT?!_"

She gave him a quizzical look. "You thought I wouldn't? I _love _the idea of having my own…" She gave his crotch a squeeze, making him jump. "I would prefer not to get a permanent curse because of the inconvenience. I mean, I could never take part in a wet t-shirt contest if I had a permanent curse. But a temporary one…"

"But what if something goes wrong? What if you get cursed permanently?"

"Not the end of the world."

"But—"

She gave him a quick kiss. "Like I said, it wouldn't be bad, just a little inconvenient. I'm not worried."

"You could turn into a guy and not be able to turn back! Your body could be gone forever!"

"I'll risk it."

"But… but… it could turn you into a he-she or something!"

She raised an eyebrow.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"And now I want to get some girl _and_ boy spring and mix them, just to try it. Thanks for the idea. Now c'mon, we have places to go."

She grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him away, as he found himself regretting getting the instant spring at all.

* * *

><p>A week went by, and nothing else significant happened. Akane spent that week in anticipation. It had turned out that the instant spring <em>was<em> a mail-order product, and the nice people that manufactured it even had a Japanese speaker to take orders over the phone. Their Japanese was lousy, and the international phone call cost almost as much as the box of packets, but it was still worth it.

And then, the day came. Ranma and Akane came home from school to find a box waiting, with Chinese writing on it. Akane tore into it, dancing around in celebration with packets of instant spring in both hands. Ranma massaged his temples.

"Akane… I'm begging you."

"There are no possible side effects that are really bad." She tossed all of the packets back into the box, except one. She motioned for Ranma to follow. "Come on, sweetie. Time to try this stuff out."

"Please…"

Akane skipped down the hall to the furo and raced inside. In a flash, her clothes were off and she was in the inner bath, filling a bucket. She tore the packet open and sprinkled it in, then shut the water off. She looked Ranma's way.

"You want to use any of this on yourself so you can stay a guy? Please say no. I want to take you as a girl."

"Is there anything I can say that will change your mind?"

"Nope." She turned a quick 360. "Say goodbye to this body. For now. Though if everything goes right, it won't be gone forever. But I think I'm going to keep the new body for a few days to get used to it." She picked up the bucket and held it over her head. "Well… here goes nothing…" She tipped the bucket and sent the water splashing over her.

Ranma's mouth dropped open. He'd seen the transition before. His father had changed in front of him, and he'd even watched in the mirror to witness his own change. But while the process wasn't new, the sight that met him was.

Standing where Akane used to be was a man, though it was obvious from the start that he was Akane on the inside. The mannerisms, even the look in his eyes, was a dead giveaway. Ranma found himself wondering how nobody recognized _him_ when _he_ was a girl.

Akane's new male form was average in height; thin, but with some muscle definition. His hair was dark and dropped a little past his shoulders. With Akane's feminine eyes and overall posture, he came across as a bishōnen— had Ranma met a boy with that appearance on the street, he would've immediately suspected the boy was gay.

Akane held his hands in front of his face, seemingly enthralled by how much they'd grown. After a few seconds, he put his hands on his chest, then ran them down to his hips, then gave his butt a squeeze. It didn't escape Ranma's notice that Akane was turning himself on inspecting his new body. At that moment, he grabbed hold of his brand-new-and-quickly-firming appendage and gave it a gentle tug, jumping a bit from the sensation.

He turned to Ranma. "What do you think?" he asked, then slapped a hand over his mouth as he heard his voice. "Oh, wow," he continued, "I sound really different, don't I?" Ranma nodded slowly, and the voice was making his mind churn even more. There was a touch of femininity, with a bit of male huskiness, wrapped together in a softness that transcended gender. He always considered himself manly, but… if a boy with those looks and that voice had made a pass at him long before Akane came along, something probably would've happened.

Akane took a step forward, and Ranma involuntarily walked forward to meet him. They met in the middle and Ranma was on him, grabbing him around the waist and smashing their lips together. He pushed Ranma against the wall and started yanking at his clothes.

"So you _do_ like guys besides Ryoga," Akane said as he got Ranma's shirt and undershirt off and started tugging at the waist of Ranma's pants.

"I don't know if it's all guys, but you're just so… girly but not, and…" He sucked in a breath as Akane got his pants free and grabbed hold of what lay underneath.

Akane leaned close. "Let's see which I like better— having you as a guy or girl." He kissed Ranma's neck, grinning as the other boy sucked in a breath.

* * *

><p>Several hours later, the two of them were in different part of Nerima, leaning against a fence overlooking a canal. They'd just finished a mission for Akane— to complete the package with some men's clothes that showed off his new appearance. Ranma had ended up a girl in their earlier fun, and it only seemed fitting to carry on the new-clothes-for-new-gender theme by wearing some of the girly clothes Akane had bought for her early on in their relationship.<p>

Akane gave her a gentle smack on the butt. "Your girl side is perfect for short shorts."

Ranma leaned on her now-male fiancé. "Your guy side is perfect for all of those fancy clothes I never bother with."

Akane tugged on his shirt, a shiny button-up number that he'd left open halfway down. "Yeah, I guess I have the look of a member of a boy band or something. The kind of guys who spend more time on their looks than women." He shifted uncomfortably. "And now I get why men never wear tight pants."

"Wait until you get turned on again."

"Oh, I'm standing at full attention down there. It came up when I was putting all the guy clothes on and hasn't gone down since. Maybe the pants won't constrict so bad if I get distracted, but… well, I get turned on by dressing like this, so I think it's going to be like this the whole time."

"That's the thing about men's pants. How much room you need changes depending upon the circumstances. At least a little bit." Her expression turned a bit jealous. "Or in your case, a lot."

Taking a clue from the average male, Akane stood behind her and put his arms around her waist, like a boyfriend would. "Don't be jealous, Ranma. Your boobs are bigger than mine. Apparently, the people who drowned in those springs were all _ridiculously_ hot." He bent his knees slightly to match Ranma's height, and pushed his hips against her butt. "Now I get why guys always like to stand behind their girls, too."

Ranma blushed. "Never thought I'd like something like this, but that actually feels good. Really, _really_ good. Like do-that-later-when-we're-naked good."

"Imagine if the pants weren't so tight. I think I'm going to end up spending more time in the looser pairs of jeans, anyway. I mean, the best thing about this body is looking down at that huge bulge. It's a never-ending cycle: put on the pants, get horny, see myself getting horny, makes me even hornier."

"Lemme give you a lesson about being a guy, then. If we're in the mood, we get embarrassed by the thought of people seeing it. A real guy wouldn't show it off, and that's important because women will think you're a pervert if they see you like that."

"Is that a bad thing?" He ran his hands up and started gently rubbing Ranma's breasts, making the redhead squeak.

"They might call a cop. And if you go around in this body screwing other girls, which I know you're gonna do, remember something else. If a girl's a hentai, guys are happy. If a guy's a hentai, the girls _aren't_. You gotta go easy on it."

"Aw, I know that already. I've been with girls before. Even if it's a girl coming on to them, you can't just be about sex." He wrapped his arms around Ranma's waist. "So what should we do now? We could head home and mess around some more, but I kinda feel like doing something out here." He kicked at the bag of clothes. "I bought a speedo. You can strip down to your bra and panties and we could take a dip in the water."

She rolled her eyes. "It's almost winter, Akane. Learning about shrinkage might spoil your fun a little bit. Although…" A grin crossed her face. "We aren't too far from Ryoga's house. We could surprise him with your new look."

Akane gave her a squeeze. "All-guy three way?"

She gave him a coy look. "Maybe."

They turned and started to walk away. An old lady passing by smiled at them. "My, what a cute couple!" the lady said. The two teens gave each other a smile, then linked hands and continued on, giving the lady a wave.

A few minutes later, Ryoga opened his front door to look in confusion at the pair standing in front of him. "Hey, Ranma," he said, eyeballing Akane, "who's your friend?"

Ranma and Akane looked at each other, and Akane burst into giggles. "It's me, Ryoga! Akane!"

"Shampoo had this instant spring powder," Ranma explained. "You put it in water and it turns into spring water. Here." She handed him a packet with a piece of paper. "That's the info. If you use the spring of drowned boy, it will probably keep your curse from triggering until it wears off. I haven't tested the spring of drowned boy on myself yet. Akane just _had_ to turn into a man, and she wanted me to be able to change into a girl so she could find out what sex feels like the other way around."

"I like receiving better, personally," Akane said nonchalantly. He ran his fingers through his hair and gave Ryoga a grin. "You like this body, Ryoga?"

"Yes."

Akane stepped into the house and yanked Ranma in behind him. "Then we have stuff to do. Ranma needs to find out what taking two guys in at the same time feels like. And then we need an all-guy three-way." Ranma chuckled as she closed the door behind her.

* * *

><p>An ashen-faced Shampoo stumbled through the back door of the Nekohanten and collapsed on a chair. Cologne looked up from her cooking. ``You look like a person who has been bitten square in the cheeks by her own idea.``<p>

``You have no idea, great-grandmother.``

``You never told me what you were doing earlier, either. What exactly _was_ your plan?``

Shampoo sighed. ``I got some of that instant spring powder from the mail-order catalogue. I told Ranma I would give it to him if he took me on a date.``

Cologne paused. ``You know that stuff is temporary, right?``

``Yeah. Didn't figure it mattered.``

``So, son-in-law realized that and now he's angry?``

``Nope. It's not remotely that simple. Things can _never_ be that simple. No, his pervert girlfriend has turned herself into a man. I don't know if they figured out it's temporary, or if she was willing to curse herself permanently. Either way, she has a man's body and is parading it around in revealing clothes. And they've been going at it like horny rabbits. _All afternoon._ They just went over to the pig-boy's house.``

Cologne rubbed her temples. ``Didn't it occur to you she'd do that? The ability to change sex would be a dream come true for a pervert like her. I have contingency plans for the possibility of her going China, just to jump in Jusenkyo and curse herself.``

``I know, I know. Didn't plan well enough. Probably just pushed them closer together with that one.``

``How did the date go?``

She grinned involuntarily. ``He got handsy. I admit I liked that part. It took every bit of willpower I had to put a stop to it. I needed to make sure there would be more dates.``

``Well of course he wanted to feel you up. Look what he spends his days doing. And I bet that girl was involved in some way. Hiding and watching, maybe even planning to jump out and slide in between you if things got hot and heavy.``

Shampoo looked up. ``He talked like he wants another date. I don't know what to do with it, though. On the one hand, I'm afraid I'll do the wrong thing and make that pervert girl even happier. On the other hand, I _really_ want him inside me.``

Cologne raised an eyebrow, and Shampoo blushed. The old woman concentrated on the pot in front of her. ``We'll figure something out, Xian-Pu. Any inroad is better than nothing. At least right now he has his eyes one you.``

``If you say so, great-grandmother. If you say so.`` She twirled her hair, grinning as she replayed her memories of the date.

* * *

><p>Ranma, a girl, and Akane, still a guy, crept down the hallway, on their way to get a midnight snack. After a long and very satisfying stint with Ryoga, they'd finally arrived home. It was the most sex Akane had ever had in a 24-hour period.<p>

Records are made to be broken.

They crept into the kitchen and jumped as a person inside jumped at the sight of them. Kasumi looked at Akane, confused, then noticed Ranma. "Oh, hello, Ranma," she said sweetly. "Is this a friend of y—" She gave Akane a closer look. "Akane?"

Akane giggled. "Yeah, neechan, it's me."

"Your eyes look the same, but… what happened to you? Are you cursed?"

"The instant spring powder," Ranma explained. "Once you change back, the curse is gone. At least it's supposed to be. I'm still kinda scared she's gonna get stuck like this."

"Wouldn't be the end of the world," Akane replied. He smiled at Kasumi. "Convincing, huh?"

Kasumi nodded. Then, her eyes traveled down to the ever-present bulge in his jeans. "So, how's the…" Her blush deepened.

Akane brightened. "I love it!"

"Big?"

"Oh, yeah. You gotta see this thing!" He unbuttoned his pants, then paused. "Is it weird for me to expose myself to my sister?"

"Please don't stop."

Akane chuckled and unzipped his pants, pulling out what they'd just been discussing. The older girl stared, her eyes widening. "Yum," she muttered, then caught herself, slapping a hand over her mouth.

"Fantasizing about playing with it? Don't feel weird if you're attracted to me. I don't look like your sister right now."

Kasumi was still blushing. "Actually, it makes me want to try that instant spring. So I can have one of my own."

"Next time I make some spring water, I'll share." He smacked Ranma on the butt. "And if you want a girl to try it out on…"

She smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Akane, but like I've said before, I would rather find a steady partner of my own. Even if that means playing with my cursed body alone because my partner isn't attracted to men. Oh, Ranma… I was wondering. Since Akane brought Shampoo up the other day. I know her grandmother is here with her; are her…" She blushed. "Are her parents here as well?"

Ranma bit her lip to avoid giggling at the relatively meek Kasumi asking a question like that. "There's a man in the restaurant. I think he's Shampoo's dad. No idea if her mom's around or what."

Kasumi nodded. "Just wondering who was around. I kinda have my eye on an older man already, but doesn't hurt to have options."

"Who?" Akane asked, surprised.

"Doctor Tofu. His body is _amazing_."

Ranma and Akane shared a glance. "Oh, he's a good bet," Akane said. "In fact, I think your chances with him are really good."

"Really? I'll have to figure something out, then. Make a move of some sort." She looked at the clock on the wall. "Well, I should get to bed."

"You're going to fantasize about the new body, aren't you?" Akane asked, motioning to his still-exposed part.

Kasumi grinned. "I'm going to fantasize about my own body looking like that." She slipped out.

"I know what _she's_ about to do," Ranma said with a smirk.

"Let's hurry up down here and get upstairs so we can have some fun of our own," Akane replied. Ranma grinned and started raiding the fridge.

* * *

><p>Ranma paced back and forth, intently studying the tile of the furoba floor. From across the room, a naked Akane glanced his way.<p>

"Calm down, Ranma. It's going to turn me back to normal. Even if it doesn't, it's not a big deal."

"Of course it's a big deal! You'll be cursed! I don't want you to be cursed!"

He shrugged. "I wouldn't mind."

"And what if you're stuck as a guy, huh?"

He paused. "You know… I think if _that_ happened, I would go to Jusenkyo and curse myself with the drowned girl water. Then I'd be in the exact same place that you are."

"But… but…" He stopped, and emotion flashed across his face. "I don't want your old body to be gone. That's what you looked like when we… met. And everything after. It wouldn't be the same."

Looking like he was fighting tears, Akane rushed to him and embraced him. "Don't get all depressed before you know there's a problem." He wiped his own eyes. "And thanks for reminding me I'm a girl on the inside." He stepped back and walked to the shower, cranking the hot tap on. "Well, Ranma, say goodbye to this body. For now. I haven't seen daddy in two days and I'm sick of washing in cold water." Ranma covered his eyes, fear evident in every part of his demeanor.

"Ow! Hot!"

Ranma spun around in joy at Akane's normal voice, as she fled from the shower. He grabbed her and squeezed her tight, and she gave his shoulders a comforting rub. "Geez, Ranma," she said, "you worry too much. I told you it would be fine."

He released her and held her by the shoulders. "Try the cold water! Make sure you're not still cursed!"

"Okay! Okay!" She went over to the shower and adjusted the knobs. "Now I get how you burn yourself so much. I was thinking about the curse and completely forgot to use any cold when I adjusted the taps." She stepped under the shoulder and immediately jumped back out with a squeak. She wrapped her arms around herself. "There. I hope that was cold enough. Still a girl." She messed with the knobs again, and stepped under the water. "Much better. And this is hot, and nothing's changing. Water doesn't affect me; I'm exactly the same as I was before I used that stuff. Everything's fine."

Ranma visibly deflated, slumping against the wall and sliding to the floor. Akane knelt next to him.

"You liked the man's body, right?"

He nodded slowly.

"No side effects, right?"

He nodded.

"So everything is good. Now come one. Let out that tension and give me some fun in my normal body." She grinned. "I was starting to miss sex as a girl." She took his hand and yanked him upright, then started tugging at his shirt. "Let's enjoy the shower since we're here. And turn you into a girl halfway though so I can feel boobs on boobs."

She got his shirt off and started working on his pants. "Though I have to say," she continued, "feeling your breasts on my man chest gave me a new-found respect for breasts. No wonder guys pay attention to them so much."

He just shook his head.

* * *

><p>In an airport on the other side of the equator, a mostly-blind boy raced past the information desk for the thirtieth time.<p>

"Shampoo! Where are you?!"


End file.
